


An Incompatible Coping Mechanism

by TehRevving



Series: Mechanisms [1]
Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Almost Rape in Some Places, Angst, Body Horror, Canon Disabled Character, Dubious Consent, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Major Character Injury, POV Second Person, Reader-Insert, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-28
Updated: 2017-08-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 12:04:08
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 51,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10020008
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TehRevving/pseuds/TehRevving
Summary: Nothing was the same after Altissia. You're trying your best to keep these boys together and out of trouble but it's impossible when they're so broken. Ignis isn't coping with his new circumstances at all and instead of talking about it or trying to heal is just taking out his frustrations on you, with sex, constantly.Reader x Ignis. Second Person. Established Relationship. Smut in every chapter. Spoilers for Leviathan and beyond. COMPLETE





	1. Inconceivable

**Author's Note:**

> Welcome everyone to An Incompatible Coping Mechanism. 
> 
> This fic has been in the works since a few days after the game came out. I don't know why I've done this to myself to write something so sad but hey. Here we go.  
> Smut in every chapter but its not necessarily going to arouse you. This fic will contain mature themes, copious amounts of sex, violence, body horror, angst etc. 
> 
> I hope you all enjoy.

It took two days for you to make your way back to the centre of Altissia after the evacuation. The city had been totally destroyed, the damage was worse than anyone had expected but it was still almost impossible to believe the complete disarray around you. All of the roads were blocked by debris, giant crevasses and vast impassable fast flowing rivers shooting up from once proud buildings. The once magnificent waterfalls were now running unchecked and unmanaged throughout the ruins. There had still been contact with those inside the city, well on what would have been considered with outskirts before; it was just that no one could physically reach them. The Leviathan has done more damage than anyone had thought possible and only emergency services were trying to get back into the city.

No one would help you get back in. People mostly ignored you, deep down you figured that they blamed you for all of this, it’s not like they were wrong. Even when you found people that could speak Lucian they wouldn’t talk to you, how everyone seemed to know that you were one of the prince’s travelling companions astounded you. 

You were out of that hell hole of a refugee camp as soon as the path back through the city was cleared and they started sending trucks. No one even looked twice at you when you started down the track that could barely be called a cleared path towards the city. You didn’t know what you were going to find once you got back to the hotel where you hoped everyone was still waiting for you. The news of Lady Lunafreya’s death had spread around the camp; you didn’t need to speak Altissian to know that she had passed on. You assumed that if something had happened to Noctis you would have heard about it; however you couldn’t guarantee that news of his travelling companions would spread the same way. You couldn’t chase away the feeling that something terrible had happened. Surely you would have felt it if something had happened to Ignis. 

You remembered screaming and crying on the boat as the rest of the refugees refused to go back for him and then you were waking up on the cold hard concrete outside of the city to hushed whispers in another language. There was no cell phone reception and after everything you had no way to contact the boys and they had no way to contact you. 

After what felt like forever you finally reached a familiar area, well familiar in the most twisted sense of the word. Altissia was totally ruined, even on the outskirt docks which had remained relatively unscathed compared to the rest of the city. Some store fronts were still intact, with fresh produce and merchandise displayed like nothing had ever happened apart from the fact you couldn't reach the entrance because the footpaths were blocked by rocks, water or giant sinkholes in the ground. Large crevasses criss-crossed through the floor. There were parts of the gondola tracks littering the road and you could see half a gondola sticking out of one of the remaining canals. You wondered briefly if Lunafreya’s wedding dress in the store front had survived, probably not. 

There were too many emotions; you were absolutely terrified of making it to the hotel because you didn’t know what you would find. Prompto had been in your life for so long, you didn’t think you would be able to live without him. Not now that Insomnia was gone he was the only link you had with those memories of your time there. You couldn’t imagine anything happening to Gladio but at the same time he was reckless. He had helped train you to fight back in Insomnia and then out on the road. He helped you pick out a weapon and taught you where to aim and how to take advantage of your strengths. You were so sure that Noctis was still alive but that boy had so many burdens on his shoulders, even more so now. You weren’t sure if he had it in him to continue on.

And Ignis. Ignis fucking Scientia. It had been almost 2 years to the date since you became something difficult to define. The last you saw of him he was trying to play the hero and now you didn’t even know if he was alive. You couldn’t even think about life without his smile or his green eyes glancing at you from underneath his glasses or the sounds he made when he was on top of you.   
Your heart was pounding in your chest when you saw the hotel come into view. 

The Leville Hotel. It actually wasn’t too destroyed, you were so relieved. At least there was a chance that they were there waiting for you. Its sign was buried into the ground in the side of the entrance, one of the great doors was hanging off its hinges and the whole right side of its gardens were a few metres above the rest of the hotel, a wall of rock separating the two halves. 

You fought hard to hold back your anxiety, your worry. You took in a deep shaky breath. You had a feeling that nothing would be the same ever again once you stepped through these doors, but it wasn’t like you had any choice.

Picking yourself up, slowing down your breathing and rolling up your sleeves, you walked as purposefully as you could muster into the lobby. 

You carefully stepped over the battered door frame and navigated past the chandelier bent and warped, buried in the floor right in the centre of the atrium of the lobby. Looking around your eyes locked on a massive frame to the side of you. He was absolutely impossible to miss even covered in dirt. You let out the breath you hadn't realized you were holding. 

"Gladiolus" you called out, quickening your steps towards him. He turned around just as you crashed into his chest and wrapped your arms around him. 

"Hey", he called your name softly. "We were wondering when you would come back. Is everything ok with you?"

“I'm alright" you mumbled into his chest, it felt so good to be around someone that actually tolerated your presence. 

He held you tight to his chest for what seemed like ages. He seemed reluctant as he pulled away. He kept his arms on your shoulder, kneeing down so he was more at your level.

"A lot has happened" he paused "Why don't you come up to my room, have a shower and some food and then we can talk about everything" His words were calculated, his tone was cagey. You could read him like a book and new he was hiding something.

Seeing him acting like that made your eyes water. You knew something was wrong but you wanted to appear strong at least.

“Prompto” you whispered his name softly.

“Is fine” Gladio finished for you. “He’s out helping with the rebuilding effort now. He should be back later”

You nodded and went to open your mouth again. Gladio’s expression got worse. 

“Noctis” you said even quieter than before.

“Noctis is in a coma, but mostly unharmed. We are just waiting for him to wake up”

You nodded again. You were struggling to hold yourself together now. Gladio’s expression got worse and worse as he spoke.

"Ignis" you started so quietly you weren’t even sure if he heard. It was the only thing you could do to stop from falling apart. 

"I" you paused because Gladiolus breathed out heavily and moved his hand off your shoulder. He buried his face into his large hand and he muttered something under his breath. 

“Fuck I don’t want to do this” is what it sounded like he said. 

"Gladiolus, what's wrong?" you struggled not to sound hysterical. He removed his hand from his face. 

"Gladiolus. Tell me" You raised your voice now; you hoped you sounded imposing and confident, but you were terrified, he looked broken. 

"He was hurt" He breathed out. "He was injured, badly. He's awake and walking around but" He trailed off "I wanted to give you time to prepare, but I knew you wouldn’t want to." He finally looked you in the eyes. "I'll just take you to him"

"What happened?"

"Just come with me" He leant up to his full height and put his arm behind your shoulders directing you towards the stairs in the centre of the lobby. It’s not like you could resist when he used his strength to push you along. 

"Prompto is fine, a bit scratched up but no worse for wear” Gladio spoke quickly and in hushed tones as you walked up the mostly intact stairs in the centre of the lobby.

"Noctis is in a coma, he doesn't seem to be injured, the doctor’s think it just has something to do with his magic and confronting the Leviathan. They seem to think he will wake up soon. Lunafreya ….” he trailed off.

"I know about Lunafreya, I don’t envy Noctis at all, waking up to news like that"  
He stayed silent. 

You stopped walking; Gladiolus just kept pushing you along though, dragging your feet on the carpet. 

"Gladiolus. Stop!" You reached up and grabbed onto his arm and he stopped for a second and looked at you.

"And Ignis?" He looked at you for a second and then started walking again. 

"It’s best for everyone if you go in bli… fuck" and then he trailed off, not finishing his sentence. He looked flustered; he raised his arm to his face and brushed his hair back with a sigh. "If you go in without knowing" 

You grab onto his arm and pull him back. Forcing him to face you at your level.

"Look. We're almost there" you realize he isn't going to say anymore.

You walk in silence down the corridor until you can see the end of it. Suddenly he stops walking and you almost crash into him. He takes up a lot of room in the narrow hallway. "We're here." He turns towards you and bends down so he is almost eye level with you. 

"We need you. We need you to help Ignis however you can. We need you to keep all of us together."  
"Gladio what happened?" You demand at him. But he has already leant up and started knocking on the door in front of you. He cracks it open slightly and you can see that it’s dark inside. 

"Ignis" he calls out "someone is here to see you"

"Choice words Gladiolus" comes a curt reply from inside. It’s Ignis’ posh accent alright but dripping with sarcasm and another emotion you couldn’t quite pick up on. His tone of voice was unlike anything you had heard before. You turn and look up at Gladiolus. His facial expression is heartbreaking and he looks down at you sympathetically and squeezes your shoulder before releasing you. 

You take a deep breath. It was now or never. "Ignis" you call out. You open the door the rest of the way and slip inside. 

The curtains in the room are drawn and the lights aren't on. There is enough ambient light coming through the curtains that the room isn’t pitch black but visibility is definitely poor. Ignis normally dislikes the dark while the sun is up and you assume he must be resting. You turn to the bed to try and spot him. 

The room is a large one, with a large bed and a seating area. You don't notice Gladiolus closing the door behind you, further darkening the room and leaving you with just the sound of your heavy breathing and the ragged gasps coming from the end of the room. You turn and see hair sticking up above the large armchair that is facing away from you. You start walking towards it. 

"Ignis" you call his name softly. "Are you alright? Gladio said you were hurt" 

"I..." he starts to speak but cuts himself off, his tone is still not quite right. You can see him slowly stand up from his seat in the chair. He is struggling to stay balanced and you move faster to try and help him. You can only just make out his outline in the dark as your eyes haven’t yet adjusted. You reach out and touch his arm as you move in front of him. He makes this noise, it's like a whimper and it pulls at something deep inside of you, something is seriously wrong. He is standing up straight now and you move, placing your hands on either side of his hips while slowing moving your eyes up to look at him. 

The first thing you notice is that his shirt isn't buttoned properly; you reach up to run your hand along the mismatched buttons before moving your gaze up. 

Then you notice the different glasses. They are huge and tinted dark covering his eyes and the skin around them. 

Ignis turns his head to look down and face you and that's when you see it. The huge scar with its edges peeking out from the frames. Then you see the slices, across his eyebrow and his nose and everywhere, there are so many of them. You reach up and cup his cheek with your hand.   
"Oh Ignis" you struggle to stop your voice from cracking as he pulls you close to his body. Your arm drops against his shoulder as he pulls you flush against his body, your head against his chest and his pressed against your ear. His breathing is unsteady. And so is yours. 

"How bad is it?" You whisper softly. His hand grips your waist slightly too hard as if it’s an acceptable answer. 

He breathes out heavily against your neck and then straightens up to look down at you but it’s off slightly. His gaze doesn't quite meet yours. You’re close enough now to just make out his eyes underneath the glasses. You start searching for those green orbs that lit up your whole world but you couldn’t see them. All you could see was one slightly open eye that was completely devoid of colour. 

"I am" he pauses "almost completely blind" and his entire body slumps forward, resting on you for support. "All I can see is darkness. The only thing I have been capable of seeing for days has been darkness. I can't see your face. I can't tell if you are actually in front of me right now. I can't tell if you're injured. I thought it might become easier once you came back to me but now it just feels even darker.” and with that, he buries his face in your neck and begins to cry. 

You were at a total loss for what to do, Ignis definitely wasn't the emotional type, you weren’t sure if you had ever seen him cry before, let alone break down like this. It was heartbreaking to see this man who had always looked older than his years and in total control of everything breaking down into pieces against you. He was crushing you to his chest his arms tight around your shoulders and holding you there, the tips of your toes were barely touching the ground as he held you up against him. Most of the time you forgot about the height difference between you but you were struggling to breathe against him his normally incredible strength causing you discomfort. The new larger, pointier dark glasses digging into your shoulder. You wrapped your arms around his back awkwardly, and squeezed at his sides trying to tap out. You managed to move your hands to his chest and pushed back against him, pulling back as far as you were able.

"Sit back down darling" You muttered softly against his chest "You're crushing me".

You felt him reluctantly loosen his grip around you and lowered you back to the ground. He shuddered violently, inhaling a shaky breath against your shoulders. He kept his arms around you but gave you enough room to move around between them. You ran your hands up his chest, across the soft fabric of his shirt. He was just wearing his plain white button down, sans suspenders. The mismatched buttons and creases in the shirt broke your heart a little bit.

You ran your hands up the soft fabric of his shirt, feeling his muscles tensing and his chest rising and falling underneath your hands as he breathed in and out heavily. There wasn't much room between your bodies as you gently pressed down on his shoulders. He took the hint and slowly, carefully sunk down into the plush chair underneath him. His legs were shaking, his face turned away from you, as if he could hide his pain. 

"Ignis, I'm here" You said softly as you lowered yourself down and sat on his lap, your knees either side of his legs, straddling him. 

Ignis turned his face away from you, trying to hide so you could only see the less damaged side. That went through you like a stab wound, Ignis had never been shy about his body. His hands came up and ran along your thighs, running up and down across them. You couldn’t believe how much expression you could see on his face even though his eyes were closed and he couldn’t make eye contact with you. He looked lost, almost as if he was a timid teenager focusing on a spot on the floor and trying to avoid your gaze out of embarrassment but you knew better than that.

“Let me get a look at you" you reached up and removed the large foreign glasses. The simple act of removing his glasses was something you had done hundreds of times before. Sometimes it was intimate; sometimes it was when he almost fell asleep on his feet from being overworked, sometimes it was just because you wanted to see him without them. The action was intimate; he didn’t like anyone else touching them but never before had he shuddered once they were removed. Immediately turned his head down and away. It seemed like those glasses were his lifeline and that if he kept them on you wouldn’t have to see how bad it was. But you wanted to see him more than anything; you wanted to see what had happened to his face. To hold him in your arms and tell him that everything would be ok. Ignis without his glasses was when he was most vulnerable; they were the main piece of the careful façade he showed to the world.

You placed the glasses on the desk next to the chair and turned back to look at him. You reached out and touched his face, one hand on either side. You tried not to touch the scarring but you underestimated how large the one on the left side was and brushed against it without meaning to.  
Ignis cried out and recoiled in pain, his hands tightened around you. Holding you against him like you were the only thing in the world. You swore, “Fuck Ignis I’m sorry.” And then your arms were around his neck as you crushed your lips against his. You wanted to silence his cries but also assure him that everything was fine. 

He didn’t return the kiss for a while, his lips just pressed unmoving against yours as you rubbed your hand across the top of his spine and base of his neck trying to soothe him a bit. When he did kiss back it was hesitant and reserved, certainly unusual for Ignis. He knew how to push your buttons and knew how much you liked it when he did; normally he was much more assertive. Eventually you pulled away. You pressed your forehead to his. “I’m sorry I fucked up, can I try again?”

Ignis whimpered but nodded against you, his breathing got heavier and you could feel his chest heaving against yours. It must have been terrifying, not being able to see you, or what you were doing. His hands tightened on your thighs, you could feel small lances of pain from his fingers, but it defiantly wasn't the first thing on your mind. 

“I won’t touch the large one. Can I touch the others?” You asked him softly, pressing a kiss to the crown of his forehead. His normally gravity defying fringe was starting to fall forward from the heat in the room and also you realised from the fact that he hadn’t been able to see it when he did it this morning. 

“Be gentle my dear” came the quiet response spoken between shuddering breaths and tiny noises coming from deep within his chest.

You looked upon his face properly for the first time.

Across the cut marring his eyebrow, the one across his eyelid and the small scar on his nose and on his lip, well they all paled in comparison to the dark crimson staining half of his face. You leant forward and placed a gentle kiss over his eyebrow, over his nose, over his lip and then as gentle as you could over his less damaged eyelid. Ignis was breathing heavily and digging his hands into your thighs, you could see his right eye fluttering underneath the less damaged eyelid. 

"They're not that bad darling" you whispered against his lips before you moved closed and in for a kiss.   
Ignis' breath caught in his chest as you pressed your lips to his. You started slow at first, a chaste press to his lips while your hands moved down to his neck. His arms came around you almost immediately, shaking and unsure. One came around your waist and snaked its way up your back the other on the back of your head pulling you into him. 

He pressed your head closer to his, pressed your lips together like it was the last time he would ever be able to and maybe that's what he thought.

The kiss got deeper, he was responding much better than he had during the previous one. His lips parted against yours. His hand moved down to your ass and grabbed onto you when his lips parted and his tongue snaked against yours. He didn’t waste any time, sucking on your tongue while his hands rocked you against him, grinding you against his lap.   
It felt good to be in his arms again regardless of the circumstances. It felt good to feel the familiar press of his body against yours as he rocked you together. Ignis was warm and with your eyes closed, feeling him press himself against you, feeling his hands against your body you could almost pretend that nothing was wrong. 

Everything came fairly easily after that.

You hadn’t even managed to get his shirt completely off. You got maybe 3/4 of his buttons undone before he was hiking your skirt up. His hands were everywhere but his lips were firmly pressed against yours, occasionally moving to your neck to press kisses against the soft skin there and because he knew it made you moan. He was trying to hide his face from your eyes and you knew that. You had wanted to do something about it, to scold him and tell him it was ok. But all of those thoughts went straight out of your brain once one of his hands start brushing over your panties with the other on your hip grinding you back and forth against the growing hardness in his pants. It was nearly impossible to focus on anything but the feel of him shuddering against you and the feel of his hands playing with you expertly. Your hands were all over his chest, pushing his shirt back from his chest but not able to push it off him because it was still done at bottom and there was no way you were coordinated enough to get the rest undone. He bit down on your neck, hard enough to leave a mark, hard enough to make you cry out and rake your nails down his chest. Ignis moaned loudly against your neck at the pain and you could feel it course through his whole body.

You reached up and grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked his hair back pulling his head back against his neck. He cried out as you attached your lips to his neck. You bit down hard and suddenly his hands were pushing your panties aside and slim nimble fingers were entering you. Pumping in and out slowly while stretching you out. 

“Ignis” You screamed out as he brushed against that spot inside you and you saw stars. You couldn’t wait any longer, you needed him. 

You reached down and struggled to unbutton his pants. You bit down on his collarbone as you pulled his belt tighter against him trying to get the catch so it would come off. You were both groaning in frustration and he kept swearing quietly under his breath as your hands kept brushing against him through the fabric but not giving him any relief. Finally his belt gave and you ripped it off him but not before he managed to slip another finger inside you and angling it to make you slump against him.   
"Ignis" you cried out his name and willed your hands to work as you struggled with his fly.

Suddenly his pants were finally undone and you pulled them down as quickly and haphazardly as you could. You yanked his underwear down until his cock was free. It jumped straight up once it was free of its confines. You could feel it pulsing against your hand once you started stroking roughly. He called out your name under his breath and the sound went straight to your core. You felt him smile against your shoulder as your body shuddered around his fingers at the sound. You gave a sharp tug on the head of his cock for that and his smirk disappeared, replaced with a loud groan muffled by your skin. 

You reached down and grabbed his hand, pulling his fingers out of you. He made a sound of discontent but it didn’t last as you were yanking your panties to the side with the hand that wasn’t stroking his cock. You positioned his head to your entrance and from the change in his breathing you knew he could feel your heat and wetness against him. His hands had stilled on your hips while his breath came in and out in gasps. You angled your hips slightly so his tip and only the tip slipped inside you. You leant up and kissed him, your tongue running against his as you moaned into his mouth. You rocked your hips against his tip but didn’t allowing him entrance. 

You sucked his tongue into your mouth, rolling around like you would if it was the head of his dick. He moaned loudly as his hand tangled in your hair and yanked sharply. You knew he could feel you contracting and twitching against his tip and he was desperate for entrance. You were squeezing your legs as tight as you could around his hips to stop him from bucking up against you but it was a struggle. 

You shook your head until it was out of his grasp and moved your lips to his ear. 

"Beg me for it gorgeous" you whispered in his ear before biting down on the lobe. The moan he let out was loud and you could feel it vibrate through your body through his chest from where you were pressed tight together. 

"Kitten. Fuck. Please" he struggled to gasp out in his prim accent, his voice deep and cracking with lust. He only ever swore during sex and the sound was so incredible that it was a habit of yours to try and get him to swear as much as you could. He was always so in control and smooth the only way to make him crack was to tease him until he literally couldn't take it anymore.   
You started to lower yourself gently onto him, feeling his cock twitching against your walls as he went in. You controlled your decent as much as you could, forcing it to be as slow and unbearable as possible. You were dripping wet and desperate for him and he slid in with no resistance. 

"FUCK" 

Ignis swore so loudly you were worried the whole hotel might have heard him. Suddenly there were hands tight on your hips, forcing you into a relentless rhythm against you. You crashed your lips against his and raked your nails against his chest.

 

Soon the only sounds that could be heard were moans and the obscene sound of wet skin against skin. You were so out of it and lost in your combined rhythm that you didn’t notice one of his hands leaving your hips until it was pressed directly against your clit and moving against you. 

You couldn’t take it after that. Your climax bought his one and you both came together. You screamed his name as he pressed you close to his body. You clawed against his skin and he bit down hard on your shoulder and moaned your name into your skin as you felt his hips stutter.

You both stayed there, breathing heavily; your skin sliding against each other’s slick with sweat. He kept his head against your neck, not wanting you to see him.   
You felt like you could have stayed like that forever but you slowly felt him slip out of you, followed by a wet trickling down your against your leg. You pulled him back and crashed your lips to his, kissing him like he was your lifeline; which he was. It felt like ages until you pulled away. 

"Fuck Ignis" you moaned into his ear. “I really need a shower after that. Will you join me?”


	2. Indescribable

Chapter 2 – Indescribable

Ignis threw his head back and it slammed into the back of the chair. You watched his eyes flutter under closed lids slightly as if in pain. His face is flushed and his hair is slicked back with sweat while he breathes raggedly. His eyes look inflamed from crying but you’re not sure if that’s just how they look like now. 

“I require a fair bit of assistance for that endeavour” he said as if it was going to turn you off the idea, but it does the complete opposite.

“I’m sure we can work it out” you reply. You unhook his arms from around you and crawl off his lap. You reach out, grab his hand and pull him out of the chair, strip him of his half undone pants. You blush a little bit when you see the large wet patch on the front of them but decide not to say anything. You’re pretty sure he won’t try and put them back on. He reaches down and undoes the last few infernal buttons on his shirt that you couldn’t manage with earlier and he fucking smirks in your direction as he shrugs the shirt from his shoulders.

“I saw that” you mutter under your breath before grabbing his hand and pushing him towards the bathroom.

 

It’s not until you’re in the well-lit bathroom and looking around that you can clearly see his torso. He has burns on his torso that you couldn’t see under his clothes. Maybe it was a good thing you couldn’t undress him fully earlier. You only get a quick glimpse because you don’t want to be caught staring until you realise with a pang of sadness that it doesn’t matter. He is just standing there, waiting for you to undress and turn on the shower. You didn’t want to keep him waiting alone with his thoughts so you turned away and turned the water on. You were going to resist looking at him too closely and just be there for him. Well you tried to anyway.

 

Guiding Ignis through the hotel and down the stairs was easier than you expected. He seemed to be pretty comfortable walking around surprisingly enough, which was a good thing because you were barely half way down the stairs before you could hear Prompto calling out your name. You gave him a smile and then turned back to Ignis to make sure he was alright, you barely had any time to react before Prompto was tackling you. He actually ran into you but he seemed to have enough sense to not knock Ignis off his feet. You were crushed against a pale freckled shoulder, the force of it almost made you lose your balance but Prompto held you firm. 

“We knew you would make it back” he sounded happy. “We weren’t sure what happened to you but Ignis insisted that you had made it out of the city.”

“Yeah” you quietly responded against his shirt, you moved to remove yourself from his embrace. Ignis was still standing there awkwardly next to you, not really sure what to do.   
Prompto’s face dropped, his eyes scrunched up and his face turned slightly red. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there when you got back”  
“It’s alright Prom” you spoke softly “None of it matters now”.  
He pulled away and guided Ignis and you down the stairs and to the table he and Gladio had been sitting at. 

 

There was food, boring plain sandwiches but it was so much better than the gross ration you had been barely stomaching for the past few days. You had thought you were hungry but you struggled through half a sandwich before giving up. You noticed that none of the others ate anything either. Ignis just kept his hand on your leg and stayed silent while the others talked about how the rescue effort was going. Prompto filling you in on some of the work he had been doing around the city. There wasn’t really much discussion before Gladio cleared his throat. 

“Ignis, it’s about time to go” He was already standing up by the time he had finished his sentence. Ignis nodded in his general direction and squeezed your leg again. He waited for Gladio to come around and help him up.

“What’s going on now?” You words were quiet and not directed to anyone in particular. 

“Ignis has a standing appointment daily with a physician.”

“Do you want me to come along Gladio?” You asked but you weren’t sure if you wanted to or not. You didn’t really know how bad Ignis’ injuries were, you were just hoping that they weren’t worse than you thought. 

“Ignis?”

“No. Just Gladiolus is fine.” Ignis didn’t even turn to look in your direction. 

“Sure, no problem Ignis” You tried not to sound dejected. You really weren’t sure if you were relieved or disappointed, probably a little bit of both.

Prompto waited until they were out of ear shot before he started talking again.

"Wow. You just got shafted."

"It doesn’t really bother me. Gladio knows a lot more about injuries and medicine than I do. He also knows about Noct’s magic, that probably has something to do with it." You got out as confidently as you could. Of course it bothered you but you knew that in a twisted way this was for the best. 

"I guess I hadn’t thought about it that way" he started off strong but then trailed off at the end. You knew he wanted to say that he thought it was because Ignis just didn’t want you to know how bad it actually was.

Prompto reached out and grabbed your hand across the table. He sighed and his face screwed up again.  
"How are you holding up?"

You knew this conversation was coming, you hoped you were strong enough to get through it.  
“I’m” You stopped. "Prom, do you know what happened?”

Prompto shook his head “he won’t tell us. Gladio says the doctor thinks that the gashes came from daggers. They might have been his own. They said his eyes were burnt by magic and that’s why they can’t heal it."

"He has more burns, and scars on his chest.” You breathed out heavily “and lower, did you know that?"

"No, I only know what Gladio has told me and I don’t really know how much Gladio knows. He only knows what he does because he has been in the meetings with the doctor.” His face screwed up again, his eyes were beginning to ring with red a tell-tale sign of Prompto getting emotional. “We were hoping that Ignis would tell you what happened"

You stopped and squeezed Prompto's hand "He hasn’t been talkative. Not that we’ve really had the chance."

“Gladio said you were upstairs for a few hours I thought maybe he might have said something. Although I guess he might need to work up to it, he wasn’t expecting you when you came in I guess.” Prompto was lost and just kept running his mouth. You just looked at him patiently for him to get through his thoughts. “Though you must have talked about something because you knew he had more scars so” and then he trailed off as realisation started to cross his face. You laughed a little bit as he quietly muttered an “oh”.

He smiled, more out of reflex than anything. “I still just can’t think of Ignis as being any way inclined like that.”

“It’s been two years Prompto”

He laughed nervously and then there was just an awkward silence as emotion fell around you again. 

You took in a deep breath. "I wish Gladio had warned me. He just sent me in without telling me anything”

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there.”

“I suppose it probably wouldn’t have helped in the end.”

Prompto turned and looked into your eyes.   
“Are you alright to tell me what happened with you?”

You nodded and removed your hand from his from across the table and pressed your palms into your eyes. You took a deep breath and exhaled out.

"The evacuation was going really well. The last boat had just set off and we were on it. We were just about to clear the jetty when we heard screaming. There was a little girl left behind on the docks. We didn’t know where she came from but she was in the middle of all this debris and rubble.   
Ignis didn't even stop and think about it, he jumped straight off the boat and ran towards her. I tried to follow but I’m not as agile as he is and the rest of the passengers were holding me back. They were only concerned with getting out of there.   
I watched him run towards this girl and when he got to where she was, she just disappeared. One minute she was there and the next she wasn't. He was looking around utterly confused and he turned to look at me and then there was this giant cracking sound and this building just started falling down on top of him. I saw this huge piece of concrete fall right beside him and then I couldn't see him anymore"

You realised you were crying, silent tears falling from your eyes. You stopped and wiped your eyes but it didn’t really help. Prompto was staring intently at you, hanging on your every word. He looked like he was about to cry as well. 

"I was screaming and trying to get them to stop the boat and go back. All of the refugees they were holding me down, yelling at me in Altissian. They couldn't have given a shit about Ignis, they just wanted to get away from the city. I don't know what they were saying.  
There was an explosion that came from where I last saw Ignis and just I lost it. I think someone knocked me out, because then next thing I remember was waking up cold and wet on the ground outside the city."

You were sobbing now. You could remember the feeling of utter dread and loneliness waking up alone and in the dark. Thinking about that made you think about how Ignis must have felt. You wondered if he also woke up alone and in the dark. That made it worse.  
Prompto got up and walked over to the booth where you were sitting. He sat down next to you and pulled you to his chest. You sobbed against him as he rubbed your back.

"I didn't know if he was alive. I didn't know if any of you made it. No one would help me, no one would talk to me even the ones that spoke Lucian just gave one worse answers like they didn’t care. They just kept looking at me like I was some kind of monster. I mean, maybe I am, I’m part of the reason their home was destroyed."

Prompto was silent but you couldn’t blame him for that. 

"But I made it back" you sobbed, "I'm alive. Everyone is alive but" You trailed off, you didn’t need to finished that sentence.

“I’m here for you no matter what you know.”

"Yeah, since we were kids, right Prom?" you pulled back from him and looked down while you wiped your eyes. You turned and look up at his face. They were rimmed with red and wet. You pulled him into a hug with your head over his shoulder. 

"What the fuck are we going to do Prom?"

 

_________________________________________________

Gladio and Ignis returned in silence and didn’t discuss anything. Gladio, Prompto, Ignis and you sat around at that table for hours talking about how Noctis was and what you were going to do next.   
Well Gladio had spoken, Prompto had looked on sadly and tried to make jokes but they just made everything worse. Ignis said nothing. He just angled his head off slightly into the distance with his face hidden behind those large tinted glasses. It didn’t seem like he was listening to the conversation.

It was when Gladio noticed you could were struggling to keep up with the conversation that he sent you off to bed. Ignis said he was ready to turn in too and you both stood up together. You weren't sure if you should stay with him or not but you figured you could help him off to sleep anyway. Gladio had assured you that his room was just next door to Ignis’ if you needed anything. That had caused Ignis to say his first proper sentence in hours. 

“If that’s going to be the case Gladiolus, it would be preferable if you could wear pants this time. Just because I can’t see it doesn’t excuse you”. Prompto struggled to hold in his laugher. Gladio had this shocked look on his face. Ignis turned and started walking away with that. You turned and gave the boys a small smile before walking after Ignis.

You walked in silence until you got to his room. Once inside he let go of you, not needing you to guide him around in here. He walked over the dresser and started pulling out various bottles and placing them on top.

You broke the silence quietly.   
"Ignis, do you want me to stay here tonight? I can go stay with Prom if you want to be alone."  
He turned to where the sound of your voice was coming from, actually acknowledging you for the first time in hours  
"I would prefer it if you didn't leave me alone with the darkness."  
Well that made your decision for you. You walked over to him and pressed a kiss to the base of his neck.  
"Then I'll stay, let me help you with these"

“Do you have this written down anywhere?” you had asked Ignis after he explained what the sixth bottle was for. You didn’t want to admit that you had already forgotten the previous. You didn’t have an eidetic memory like he did.  
“Of course, but I am unsure as to where it would have ended up and” he paused and his face scrunched up for just a second “obviously I am not able to read it so it is of no use to me” He turned away from you. You could hear the emotion in his voice and you guessed he didn’t want you to see his face, see his resolve fading.  
“I will go through it again for you”

Two types of salve for his body, three different ones for his face. Two different types of painkillers one of which he had to inject. He had struggled with that one and you stepped in to help. You hadn’t noticed the small track marks on his arm from his past failed attempts until you were holding the needle over them for him. You weren’t sure why anyone would make a blind man inject himself, though you guessed it was fair that the doctors just assumed he was getting help with everything rather than dealing with it all on his own. There were eye drops for his cloudy eye. They had to be administered in near darkness because the eye was too sensitive for him to open it in the light. Then, after all of that he just had to lie with a cold compress over his eyes with some light on so he could get used to it. 

He had told you that having his eye open was painful and that he probably wouldn’t be able to make conversation during that time, not that he really had been leading up to it. You nodded at him before realising he couldn’t see it.   
“Alright” you said softly.  
You sort of just stood next to the bed and watched him undress, prepare himself and then lie down.

It was more confronting than you thought it would be. Seeing Ignis sprawled out on the bed in just his skull pendant and underwear. His face was screwed up in pain against the towel over his eyes. His once perfect pale skin was now covered in thin red scars. Looking at them closer you could see almost unmistakably that they were done using his daggers. You could see the familiar curve of the blade on the scars as they chased around his body. Your eyes were drawn to the red burn over his hip. You had thought it had just been marred flesh but now looking at it in the light you could see that it was an intricate version of the crest of the Lucian royal family, burnt with eerie precision into his flesh. It was the same crest that was carved on the hilt of his daggers.

 

You hadn’t even realised you were touching him until you heard him inhale sharply. The shock of it caused you to retract your hand so fast that the bed shook. 

“It’s alright darling, I just wasn’t expecting it. You can continue but be aware that I am.” He stopped trying to find the words, “more sensitive than before. Not necessarily in a good way either.”  
His teeth were clenched and for the first time that day even though you had been more than intimate you actually touched his body and saw how broken it really was. 

There were so many faint scars across his chest, some of them you couldn’t see but you could feel them. They were all lower than what would be covered by one of his normal high collared shirts, his neck was pretty much untouched. It was like they had deliberately inflicted to be hidden. After seeing the brand on his hip, you couldn’t help but wonder if maybe they were.

You started on his right side, the less damaged side. The side that didn’t have a giant burn snaking from his shoulder down the side of his torso. You didn’t want to go anywhere near that one. You traced your hands over the small slices opposite the giant burn. Along the long cut snaking and crossing over his abs, bisected by many smaller ones. Across from the brand on his right hip was a large red raised cut crossing from the top of his hip to the other side, cutting across the ‘V’ between his hips. It looked like the cut continued under this underwear. There was no way these were inflicted by a creature or a daemon, all of this was deliberately put there by somebody.  
As your hands moved across his hips he started writhing slightly from side to side. His intermittent gasps of pain had turned to something else. You turned to look up at him.   
It was heartbreaking, his eyes covered with the towel and hands under his pillow to stop himself from reaching out and touching you or pushing you away, you weren’t sure which one. 

He didn’t seem to be in any pain anymore. You wanted to test the waters a little bit, to let him know that you still wanted him regardless of how his body looked. Moving over his non branded hip you placed the flat of your tongue down just above the line of his underwear and then licked up following the defined line there.  
Ignis moaned loudly and then pulled away from you, sitting back up against the bed frame. He pulled the towel away from his eyes, not like it would have affected his visibility. 

“Sorry, was that too much?” you said only slightly teasing but you were actually genuinely concerned.   
“Come here.” His voice was dark and no nonsense and now you were a little bit concerned but he held his arms out slightly opening them up to you. You moved up the bed and sat next to his legs. You tentatively put your arms around his neck, his came around you and he buried his head into your shoulder.

 

“You’re too good to this broken body. I’m not sure if it can handle you. I don’t know if it will ever be able to again”  
“You’re not broken’ you reached out and touched his face as gently as you could, you pulled up and tilted it so he would have been making eye contact with you if he could see. You looked into his closed eyes before reaching out and running your fingers lightly over his less scarred eye.  
“You’re not broken. Temporarily set back sure, but not broken.”  
“The doctors don’t think that I am going to get my sight back.”  
“It doesn’t matter Ignis. If anyone can come out of this better than they were before it’s you. Please don’t lose faith in yourself, because I won’t.”  
“I don’t deserve you”  
“I have always, always wondered why on Eos you stayed with me. I’m nothing compared to you.” You leant down and kissed him softly before pulling back slightly.   
“It’s about time I proved that I’m worth something. Sometimes I don’t even feel like I’m worthy of being on the same plane of existence as you.”  
There were tears in his eyes and he whispered your name softly before he was kissing you. Hard. Everything between you was melting away as he pulled you into his lap again.

You tried to touch him, you wanted to kiss all of his scars now there seemed to be a precedent for it. You wanted to make him feel good, to make him forget how helpless everything was but he wasn’t having any part of it. He let you move your lips to his neck. He let you kiss and lick across his skin, trace your tongue around where his chain sat at the base of his throat but when you tried to softly bite down on the junction between his neck and his jaw he pushed you away.   
You tried again, moving down to his undamaged shoulder and again he let you kiss him. You didn’t bite this time but once you tried to move lower he pushed you away again.   
“Ignis. Are you ok? We can stop.” you whispered against his skin. He stayed unmoving against you. His breathing was unsteady but quiet.   
“Let me lead” his words were quiet, barely audible against your ear.  
“Of course”

 

So that’s how you ended up like this. Your face was pressed down into the mattress, it was hard to breathe but that was ok. There was an arm across the front of your torso keeping you steady and keeping your back pressed against his front and that was fine too. There was a hand on your hip, holding your hips flush against his as he moved against you, that was also ok. There were teeth in the back of your shoulder and you supposed that was ok too. He had done that when you had tried to turn around to face him. He wouldn’t have it and pushed you back, using his weight against you to keep you facing forward, pressing you down into the mattress. He was still strong and able to hold you up while his hips ground against your ass.  
Occasionally he would hit that spot inside you that made you cry out. But every time he hit it he would adjust his angle so he wasn’t any more, that was also ok, but frustrating. You didn’t like being used like this not at all. You wanted to turn the tables but weren’t quite sure how. He wouldn’t let you move and his rhythm was too rough for you to maneuver around. 

Then you had a flash of inspiration. You figured it was worth a try.

You struggled a little bit but managed to get an arm free from underneath your torso. You moved your legs slightly and got him to move just slightly. Enough for you to be able to run your hand down your front anyway, following down the curves of your body while it rocked against his.

When your fingers brushed your clit you struggled not to cry out. It felt amazing and you wanted to continue but you had other plans.

You brought your fingers further down. You took a deep breath and then reached out, wrapping your hand around the part of his cock that wasn’t inside you.  
Ignis bit down on your shoulder hard that time, it would probably leave a mark. He let out a strangled noise but otherwise didn’t react. He let you continue, that was a good sign.  
You stayed like that for a while, playing with him. But you were starting to get sore and more than that you wanted to make him lose himself. 

You reached around, running your fingers up and down the front of his cock, moving over to where you could feel it sliding in and out of you. With a deep breath and some steeled nerves you started to press in against his cock.

Ignis cried out and so did you, but you kept going. Rubbing against him as you pressed inside while he kept thrusting against you. You went slowly and he was long so it took a while before you reached the soft underside of the head of his cock. You wrapped your fingers around as much as you could around him inside of you and pressed down against it while he thrust. He got in a few more before he was gone.

He hands gripped your hips tighter as he cried out your name. He was licking over the bite mark on your shoulder now, obviously he knew it would have hurt.  
He waited for you to move your hands before he pulled out. He fell back on the bed panting hard, eyes scrunched shut, obviously done for the night.

You leant down to kiss his lips before you got up to clean up. You sat down in the bathroom and ran your hand down to your clit. It only took a few strokes before you were biting down on your other hand to stifle your moans. Ignis had always reciprocated the favour. You couldn’t remember the last time you had had sex together and hadn’t gotten off. You knew that it was fine but deep down you were a little upset about it.

You cleaned up and went back to the bed. Ignis had put some pants on, you were impressed with that. You were sure you had thrown them across the room. He pulled you against his chest once he felt the bed dip when you lay down next to him. Suddenly the past few days and your tiredness caught up with you. Pressed against his chest you could hardly keep your eyes open. 

You whispered goodnight to him as his hands ran through your hair.  
“I love you Ignis” you said quietly against his skin. You were sure he needed to hear it.

“I love you too my dear”

You let your eyes close as you felt covers being pulled around you. You fell asleep against his chest pretty much instantly, falling into an uneasy but welcome sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That shower scene gave me so much writer’s block that I decided to leave it out. I’m sorry to everyone that wanted Iggy in the shower. I’ll try incorporate it into the story later.  
> Next chapter is when things start to fall apart.  
> Also, I want to add that all of the weird cuts and pauses are deliberate, the reader is supposed to be an unreliable narrator. All of this will make sense later on I promise.  
> Hope you enjoyed. I love feedback if you want to give me any.
> 
> Questions. Comments. Feedback or just want to chat about anything? Hit me up.  
> https://teh-revving.tumblr.com/


	3. Inconsolable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Content Warnings for this Chapter:  
> Body horror, blood and disturbing imagery. Mild sexual violence.

You awoke to screaming. You awoke to your head slamming into the mattress and your body crumpling in on itself. The screaming was so loud, it was ringing in your ears and making it impossible to think. You didn’t know what was going on; your brain was so foggy. There was magic crackling in the air, whipping around you. You could feel it zapping against your skin and hear it like thunder in your ears, punctuating the screaming with a twisted beat.

You slowly began to realise that you were laying half way down the bed with your body folded almost in two. You struggled to work out which way was up for a second, the magic hitting your skin was disorientating and the ringing in your ears was making it difficult to breathe. The assault on your senses made your blood run cold. You struggled but managed to turn towards the source of everything, you almost wished you hadn’t.

There was Ignis, sat bolt upright in bed with both hands over his ears and his eyes open. His face was lit up in an ethereal, eerie glow from a sliver of light streaming in from between the curtains. Magic was buzzing around his body in barely visible sparks as he screamed, his face contorted in fear. There were flashes as the magic sparked up, lighting up his face for fractions of moments in a terrifying light, casting exaggerated shadows across the room.

His one milky iris was wildly convulsing; feverishly spasming its socket trying to focus, trying to find purchase in the dark. His other eye, well there was no eye, just an empty socket gushing blood that streamed down his face. You could see the endless black inside the socket, lit up occasionally by the sparks darting around the room and the dark red inside his skull. There was blood everywhere; falling from the darkness of his skull and down his face, pooling on his chest and dripping down onto the sheets.

You felt sick all the way down to your stomach. He just kept screaming and the blood kept falling. You swallowed your own fear, your own nausea and snapped into the first action you could think of. 

"Ignis. Ignis" You were almost screaming as you tried to call his name. Your voice was rough with sleep and fear and it cracked painfully as you called out in desperation.

"You're awake. Ignis you need to calm down. I'm here." 

But he kept screaming, his eye unfocused and rolling around; he didn’t even turn or react to the sound of your voice. The overwhelming aura of magic however noticed your presence. It crackled in the air, whipping around you, stinging your skin and flooding your vision with light. Highlighting everything you didn’t want to see. You were struggling to not stare at the darkness in his eye. There was just blackness in his empty socket, the dark hole ringed with red. There was blood coming out of his tear duct but also then falling directly out of the socket. The pattern it made as it streaked down his face was mesmerising.

You moved up the bed, reaching up to touch him. You put a hand as gentle as you could on his shoulder but the second you touched him he started screaming louder.  
You felt the magic flare up around you and you had to brace yourself against its power as the shocks rocked through you. The room was lit up over and over like there was lightning directly moving through the room. Ignis moved his hands down from his head and cried out as his two daggers appeared in his hands. He was poised and ready to strike.

You were off that bed as fast as you could. Yelling his name louder.   
"Ignis. Ignis, you’re safe. I'm here. Please put the daggers away" but he was waving them around. He wasn’t striking out at anything but he was holding them poised to attack at the first sign of trouble. You didn’t doubt that he could probably hit you if he tried. He had always been so precise and his aim deadly. You continued calling out his name as loud as you could, mentally preparing yourself to disarm him somehow. You weren’t sure if you were good enough.

There was a giant bang and crash from the side of the room.

You head snapped up and turned to see Gladiolus in the doorway. The door was smashed into the wall. It looked like it had been ripped off its hinges. The magic flew towards Gladiolus, bathing him in white light.

"Gladio. He has daggers!" you screamed at him. Your voice was shaking and cracked, you hadn’t realised you were so shaken up.  
Gladio snapped into action immediately. He ran up to the bed, crossing the space in only a few large strides calling out Ignis' name as he did.

Ignis stopped screaming when Gladio called out his name; instead he traded the noise for a loud battle cry as he lashed out. Arcing his daggers down in controlled movements but still waving them around to cover a larger area in Gladio’s general direction. His open eye was still trying to take in the room. It was focused on where Gladio’s voice has come from. It seemed he had forgotten about you. 

Gladio avoided the strikes easily and with a practiced ease. He ripped the daggers out of Ignis' grasp and threw them across the room. They clanged loudly as they bounced along the floor but they were finally out his grasp.

There was so much blood, it had sprayed out in flecks all over the room while Ignis had been lashing out with his weapons. The sheets were stained red as were your arms.

Both of Ignis’ hands were held tight in one of Gladio’s. He was struggling to hold them still as Ignis thrashed around underneath him, trying to escape his grip and also attack him. You could see Gladio recoiling against the sparks of magic touching his skin as Ignis struggled against him. 

You didn’t know what to do. It looked like a losing fight. Gladiolus was strong, but so was Ignis and crazed with fear and high on adrenaline they were more evenly matched then you would expect. You wondered if he would react to you now.

You walked back to the bed and flung yourself back on it. You pushed Gladio’s arms out of the way and sat down on Ignis' lap, pinning him down. You put your hands on either side of his head and forced him to face you.

"Ignis, you're ok. Gladio and I are here. You're alright. You’re safe. Calm down."   
He actually stopped thrashing around.  
"Ignis, darling, I'm here, you're safe, nothing here is going to hurt you. Focus on my voice".  
It took a while but gradually his breathing started to slow down. His eye stopped spasming but he was still gasping in deep breaths, his chest heaving against you. His eye stopped and focused on where your face was. His voice came out hoarse and soft. “Why wont the darkness end” and then his arms were around you and he was crying into your shoulder.

Ignis’ body was wet, covered in sweat and his body temperature was sky high. His hair was plastered back on his head, sticking to his skin. You could feel tears and blood running down from your shoulder down your chest. You lowered your voice as much as you could.

“You're alright. Gladio and I are here, you're alright, it's ok." 

You ran your hands through his hair and his breathing slowed down from loud gasps to softer pants. The magic in the air slowly disappeared. You turned your head to look at Gladio. His eyes darted to look at you. The expression his face was broken, you could see concern, heartache, sadness. He  
seemed so lost, not just with Ignis but also with how to react to you. He sat down on the side of the bed and Ignis' breathing hitched. 

"Ssh, it's ok. It’s just Gladio."

Eventually Ignis did calm down and pull away from your shoulder. He had both of his eyes closed again now, but his eye had seemed to stop bleeding. You moved your hand to his cheek.   
"I'm here."   
He leaned down to kiss you but you turned your face away.  
"Ignis there's blood" You kissed his wet forehead instead and held him close.

It seemed like an eternity but eventually it was Gladio that spoke up,  
"How about we get you in the shower" his voice was strained. "Come on, I'll help you." He reached out and gripped Ignis by the shoulders. You got of Ignis' lap and helped Gladio get him off the bed. You watched his tattoo flex and shift in the dim light. True to his word Gladio was wearing underwear, but nothing else, you hadn’t even noticed. 

You looked down at your shoulder to see how much blood had transferred onto you. It was smeared across your shoulder and you could feel it against your neck. You watched drips of it snake down your chest and finish pooling on the sheets underneath you. With a start you realised you were topless. You hadn’t even thought about your state of undress, everything had happened so fast. You watched Gladio wrap an arm around Ignis' back and guide him towards the bathroom. He turned back to you, looking straight at your face his eyes never straying.

"You're going to need a shower too, feel free to wait until we're done."

You nodded at him as he turned back to continue towards the bathroom. You looked around on the floor trying to find something to wear. You found your tank top from yesterday lying next to the bed. It would have to do. You knew you wouldn’t be able to wear it again after this, you wouldn't be able to get the blood or the memories out but that was fine. You threw it on and then headed to the dresser, you grabbed one of Ignis' shirts for you to wear afterwards and some new clean pants for him.

You heard Ignis throwing up as you put your shirt over your head. You heard the taps going as Gladio made him drink and brush his teeth and as your walked towards the bathroom you heard him asking Ignis what temperature he wanted the water. 

"I've got this Gladio" You called out as you brushed past them. The room was decent sized but it seemed a lot smaller with Gladio in there. You stepped into the shower clothed and turned on the taps. You watched Gladio help Ignis undress as you adjusted the water. You could feel your clothes sticking to your body as they grew heavy with water. It was cold until the temperature heated up to something manageable. You stepped out and took Ignis' hand and led him into the shower. 

You positioned him under the spray and he pulled you close to him. His voice was quiet and you could hardly hear it under the pounding of the water.  
"You have clothes on."  
You didn’t respond to that. 

Once Ignis was clean , once you had helped him wash away all the blood, Gladio took him back to bed while you finished off. You stripped off your clothes which were now wet and covered in blood and you quickly finished up.

You were dressed and leaving the bathroom when Gladio walked up to you. He looked down at you, you could tell he didn't want to say anything and risk Ignis hearing, but you knew what he wanted to say without him having to get the words out. The silent “Are you alright?” snaking through the air.

You breathed out heavily and threw yourself at him, wrapping your arms around him. You shook your head against his chest as he squeezed you gently. He stepped away and leant down to your level, with his hands on your shoulders; that seemed to be happening a lot lately. 

"I’ve got this Gladio" you said, trying to sound as confident as possible. You looked into his eyes with as much confidence as you could muster. Gladio looked at you questioningly, but nodded and turned to walk away.

"Do you want me to stay?" Gladio’s voice was dark and you knew he didn’t want to offer but you were glad that he did.   
"It's alright Gladio, I don’t think I will get back to sleep." Came the small, weak sounding and out of character voice from the bed.  
"If you sure" Gladio sighed and turned to leave the room.  
"I’m just next door if you need me"  
"Thanks for everything Gladio" you said. You watched him leave, watched him struggle with the busted door behind him. Eventually he managed to get it to shut.

You walked towards the bed. Ignis was sitting up and waiting for you.  
"I'm sorry" he said as you sat down next to him. You reached out and took his hand.  
"Why didn't you warn me?" You implored at him "You had daggers Ignis."  
He was silent for a moment "I've never summoned daggers before" He trailed off.  
You moved again, straddling his lap again and putting your hands on his shoulders.  
"It's alright"  
"You don't have to stay" he says quietly. The sadness permeated every word, helplessness thick in the air.  
"Ignis, I love you, I'm here for you no matter what" and you leant forward to kiss him. Because it was the truth. You weren’t going to leave Ignis broken, not after everything that had happened. 

Ignis turned the kiss passionate quickly. His hands on your ass pushing and pulling you against him. He was only in underwear and you were only in a small pair of shorts, you could feel him getting hard, pressing against your core and so you tried to pull away. 

"Ignis.” Your voice was quiet. You wanted to scold him a little bit but also wanted to make him as comfortable as possible. 

"Can I be selfish?" His voice was quiet against your ear, his hand slowly snaking across to your hip. "When we are together. When you’re touching me and when I'm inside you. When our bodies are intertwined together. I feel far less alone in the dark."

You weren’t really sure how to respond to that. You weren’t sure that you would be able to find any words to answer that kind of question. You wanted to make it better, you wanted to give him everything and anything that he wanted. Actions speak louder than words though and you knew that you certainly couldn’t say no to him. 

 

There was no sound in the room apart from the sound of skin slapping on skin and heavy breaths. You were on your back, your eyes tracing the lines on the ceiling as Ignis pounded into you.

You were ignoring the fact that he was biting down on your skin almost hard enough to draw blood, honestly it was hard to tell if he had. You were also ignoring the wetness you could feel against your skin, a disturbing mixture of tears and blood that you were not going to look at.  
Ignis was ignoring you too. Ignoring your tears and sobs against him, ignoring the fact that your nails were digging so hard into his hips that you could feel the bones underneath his skin moving as he thrust against you. You were sure that had to hurt. 

He hips were slamming against yours at a ruthless pace, your body was actually moving up and down along the mattress. Ignis’ hand pushing and pulling hard on your ass was the only thing keeping your bodies connected. 

He bit down hard on your collarbone and you cried out. You were certain that had broken the skin. You could feel him move to lick over it; you could feel how raised your skin was where he had bitten. You moved one hand up to his head and grabbed the hair on the back of his head and pulled it hard. Pulling his head back and looking up at you even though he couldn't see.   
His face was streaked with tears and more blood but his eyes were closed this time. He was still thrusting against you. You tugged hard on his hair again and he growled. You let go. You felt his lips seek out the previous bite mark, and he started licking over it again like he was trying to soothe it. You understood it now, he could only feel the marks if they were raised. You were sure your entire neck was probably purple already; you couldn’t find the strength to care. 

Eventually his breathing started to change and he began crying out. He was probably waking up the whole hotel, not that you knew what time it was. You thought about Gladio in the next room over, if he heard the screaming he could almost certainly hear this.

The sound of skin slapping on skin became even louder and his cries grew more and more desperate. His nails dug hard into your hips and he bit down on your shoulder as he came. That definitely broke your skin.   
Ignis collapsed on top of you, crushing you slightly under his weight as he breathed heavily. His body slid easily across yours, through the mixture of sweat and tears and blood. He stayed like that until he slipped out of you. He was still struggling to catch his breath as he rolled off you.

He reached over and pulled you to his chest. He kept one arm around you while he brought the other up to lie over his closed eyes. You could hear him crying, the vibrations travelling through his chest. You could tell he was trying to be quiet and you decided to just keep ignoring it. 

You curled into him and started crying into his chest. You weren’t nearly as good at being silent as he was. 

The both of you said nothing, content to continue ignoring each other, pretending that everything was fine as you lay on top of the blood stained sheets.

You groaned quietly as you felt wetness leak from between your legs but you decided to ignore that too, you were already covered in blood, yours and his, what difference did it make. 

You could feel your skin starting to sting, all of the scratches and bites on your body finally making themselves known. That was a problem for tomorrow. 

Eventually you stopped crying, but Ignis didn’t. You didn’t think you would be able to sleep while you could hear him in distress but eventually the vibrations coming through his chest much have soothed you into an uneasy sleep because suddenly you were waking up to an empty bed and light streaming through the curtains.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, that happened. I guess you can all see where this fic is going now.  
> I'm sorry for putting you all through that but it had to be done.   
> What did you think, feel free to let me know.  
> See you in the next chapter


	4. Incompatible

Suddenly there was light; bright shards streaming in through the window. Your eyes were burning, probably from lack of sleep more than anything but you weren’t completely sure. You tried but you couldn’t keep them open, you threw your arm over your face to try and hide the light. Your body ached for some reason. Without even thinking about it you reached out for Ignis with the other, that was when you noticed he wasn’t in the bed. 

You were alone.

Everything came flooding back. 

You shot upright in bed, forcing your eyes open through the pain. You were going to try and search the room for Ignis, but your body wouldn’t obey you. You sank back down almost immediately, everything hurt.

You could see that the once white sheets that were covering you were now streaked with red, covered in dried blood, tears and other fluids. 

Your whole body was aching, your neck and collar were sensitive to the air and the light. It felt like your skin was burning. Your right shoulder was throbbing. Between your legs pulsed and ached and they were sticky. Every time your body moved you could feel more pool between your legs.

What you could see of your torso was covered with marks. There was almost dark purple than the normal colour of your skin. You could see raised bites, you could make out individual teeth marks caked in dried blood. Bruises that were so dark they were almost black covered your skin and you could see red raises marks were welts bloomed across your skin. You didn’t want to keep looking. 

You felt sick.

You wanted a shower, but you didn’t think you’d be able to manage it. You wanted to wash off everything that had happened to you last night, but you knew you wouldn’t be able to. The bruises wouldn’t wash away, the throbbing pain coursing through your body wouldn’t wash away.   
You took a deep breath and then threw the covers off the bed, they were ruined anyway. You didn’t look down at your body again as you swung your legs over the side of the bed.

You didn’t place your whole weight on your legs but it didn’t matter, you immediately fell down to the ground with a whump, of course your fucking legs decided not to work.   
Facing the floor you caught a glimpse of all of the scratches and blood caked on the inside of your thighs. You could see intricate patterns of blood winding their way down your chest across to your hips, most of it snaking down from an absolutely huge bite mark on your shoulder. It was dark purple and caked with blood; you could see the individual teeth marks and you could see which ones had broken the skin. 

You struggled to get up but eventually you managed. You shakily made your way to the bathroom. You left the door open behind you as you got in the shower, deliberately avoiding the mirror. 

You didn’t wait for the water to adjust, you just got under the scalding water, the pain of it burning your skin made you forget all of the other aches over your body. The bottom of the shower was red, the water coloured with blood and everything else. 

Everything hurt as you touched it to try and clean.   
Your neck and shoulders screamed as the water touched them. Your chest stung as the water found its way into all of the bites and scratches. You could see the raised ridges cutting across your skin. 

You didn’t want to know where the blood between your legs came from. There were scratches on the inside of your thighs, it could be from those but considering how much everything hurt there you figured you were probably torn up, you didn’t really care. 

It felt like forever until you managed to get all of the blood off you, until the water started running clear. 

You stepped out from under the spray. You tried to wrap a towel around you but everything hurt. The fibres stuck to your skin and suddenly you were worried about reopening the wounds.  
Forgoing the towel you took a deep breath and decided to properly look into the full length mirror to inspect the damage. 

Honestly you looked like shit.

Your neck was completely covered in bruises and raised welts and bite marks. There were hand print sharped bruises on your torso, your waist and your hips, which were also covered in smaller, darker finger sized ones.  
There were raised, angry scratch marks across your ass and hips and snaking across your torso.  
There were scratches and bruises across your thighs, and large bite marks on the insides of them. 

You looked like you’d been attacked by something. Maybe you had been. 

Somehow you found a scarf to wear. You found jeans and a long sleeved shirt. Just about all the marks were covered. It would do. 

It looked like you were trying to hide something but you figured that everyone here probably had some scars on some sort they were trying to hide. Regardless, you didn’t care what anyone else thought. 

 

You found Gladio, Prompto and Ignis sitting around a table downstairs pretending to eat. None of them were talking. You got something, you weren’t paying enough attention to care. You were far more focused on putting one foot in front of the other through the pain screaming through you with every step. You announced your presence at the table and sat down next to Ignis. You put your hand on his leg and he tensed for a moment before relaxing. 

No one said anything.

Gladio was staring at your scarf, his expression was unforgiving. You decided to ignore it. You knew he heard you last night for sure. Prompto was giving you a sympathetic look but not making eye contact with you.

The silence continued. 

You found you could hardly stomach anything, and you knew no one else had eaten anything; just moved some food around to keep up the pretence. The silence was overwhelming.

 

It was Ignis that broke the silence finally, announcing that he was going to see Noctis. He refused any help as he promptly got up and left. You watched him navigate his way through the large hall with his cane in hand he was getting much more confident at it. 

You had a few moments to prepare yourself for the inevitable onslaught. The boys were waiting until Ignis was definitely out of earshot before speaking.

 

It was Gladio that started.

"Show us what's under the scarf."

He sounded angry, Prompto was glaring at him but Gladio couldn’t have cared less. You darted your eyes between them, Prompto still wouldn’t meet you gaze and Gladio wouldn’t leave it. You sighed and figured you should just get it over with.

You adjusted the fabric from around your neck. It hurt as it rubbed against your skin and you bit your lip to try and take your mind off it. You didn’t have to move it much before they could see the damage underneath. 

Prompto gasped loudly and Gladio let out a sound that was almost a growl. Prompt said your name softly and under his breath. 

“That looks like…."

"I know what it looks like Prompto." You hadn’t wanted to but you snapped at him in a raised voice. They didn’t have the right to judge you. "I can see it. I know how bad it is."  
He opened his mouth like he had something to say, but then closed it again. He understood now and he didn’t have anything to say about it. 

There was an awful screech as Gladio pushed back from the table and stood up. He was shaking, like he was trying to hold himself back. It was terrifying, he looked like he might lose control but you were ready to deal with his shit if he started dishing it out. 

"Are there more? Are they worse?" he managed to get out from between clenched teeth. 

You nodded slowly and you watched his body tense up. 

"Just because he can't see it doesn’t make it alright." He spat out. He was rummaging through his pocket now. He pulled out a potion and threw it down on the table in front of you. He said nothing else as he stormed off across the room.

You moved your scarf back into place and cracked the potion in your palm. It almost immediately soothed the pain, but you could still feel the fabric moving against your raised sensitive skin. It hadn’t fixed everything.

Prompto finally spoke up, he looked shaken up and upset, his face flushed red and his eyes dark and watering.

"I didn’t think he would get so angry."  
"He doesn't like seeing women have to fight their own battles." You stopped that conversation in its tracks. 

Prompto sighed and said your name softly. "Do you want to talk about it? I'm here for you if you need me. I didn’t think he would ever do something like that to you."

"Thanks Prompto, but there's nothing really to say" You blinked back some tears but then spoke again.

"Do you know what happened to him Prompto? He won’t talk to me, at all."

"I don't, Gladio was the one that found him, but I don't think he knows either."

You sighed and then reached over the table and took Prompto's hand in yours.

"We all need to stick together, no matter what. If we start to fight then we aren’t going to be able to keep going. You need to help us Prompto. I can’t keep up with everything on my own." You paused, "It’s not like I can ever keep myself together right now anymore."

He didn’t have anything to say to that. You sat in silence for a while, listening to everyone else in the room carrying on with their lives. 

Eventually Prompto opened his mouth.  
“Ignis is coming down the stairs. I'll go grab him, stay seated."

You turned around to watch as Prompto got up and walked over to Ignis. He said something and then put a hand on the small of Ignis' back and guided him shakily towards the table.

"Gladio went off somewhere, it's just us" Prompto said. He pulled a chair out for Ignis and put his hand on it so he would know where it was but he didn’t use it.

"Noctis has woken up" his voice was solemn, gripping his cane tightly and not looking at where you were sitting.   
"He is, still coming to terms with everything. It would be best for us to let him process everything for now for now. He will come downstairs when he feels ready."  
You hadn’t heard Ignis speak that much in a while, he was always strongest for Noctis, he always came first before everything else. 

Ignis then turned to look at where you were. He said your name quietly, 

"Will you accompany me somewhere private to speak?"

"Of course Ignis." You stood up, reached out and took his hand. You turned to look at Prompto who regarded you with a movement of his eyes but then he nodded.

You led Ignis into the hallway leading off to the side of the lobby.

You turned to ask him what he wanted but before you could get the words out he had pushed you back against the wall behind you. He pressed his body against yours, crushing you to the solid bricks behind you. His hands came around either side of your head caging you in. His face was close, you could make out his eyelashes from behind his dark glasses and you could see the angry red skin around his eye pulsing slightly. 

He didn’t say anything, he looked at you with as much intensity as he could muster with his eyes closed, you could feel the weight of what would have been his stare from behind his eyes. You could feel him breathing heavy against you, his chest rising and falling against yours.

Ignis didn’t say anything but he crushed his lips to yours.

The kiss was bruising and rough and you couldn’t move. He was pressing you further against the wall, you could feel the rough texture catching on your clothes as he moved his body. He was running his torso and hips up and down against you. You almost couldn’t believe Ignis was basically rutting up against you in public, but then again, you couldn’t believe the last few days had happened either. 

You could feel him hard and pressing against your hip. You couldn’t breathe. His tongue was in your mouth, pressing against yours. He was using it as well, moving the muscle around your own like he would do to your clit. It was hot and you were starting to rut back against him, you had to put a stop to it.

You pushed against his shoulders until he pulled back. You put your arm across his collarbone to stop him moving forward again. He was breathing heavily against you, you could feel his breath against your face. 

“Ignis, come on” You said quietly. 

“I want you.” His voice was deep and full of lust. He paused after each syllable and moaned at the end of the sentence. He tried to press back against you but you pushed against his shoulders.

“Ignis. There are people around.”

“I can’t find it in myself to care anymore.” He moaned out before pressing his clothed arousal straight against your core and moving his hips expertly.   
“You always wanted to do it in public, didn’t you kitten?” His voice was low and breathy and you were gone. 

You grabbed onto him and buried your face in his neck, biting down slightly to muffle the moan that you couldn’t control escaping your lips. 

“Fuck Iggy, not in the six damn hallway.” You were surprised that he let up as you pushed him away. His body was still crowding yours but you had some space to breathe.

“There’s a bathroom 15 steps down the hallway.” He smirked at you. 

“Fuck you Iggy.” you grabbed his arm and pulled him away. Sure enough 17 steps later you saw a bathroom. You threw open the door and pushed him inside.

Ignis picked up straight where he left off once the door clicked shut.

His body was against yours again, he wasn’t being coy about it now though, not that you thought he had been before. He pressed his hips to yours, rocking them slowly against you, pressing him against your core. He sucked in a harsh breath through his teeth as brought an arm around to rest against the back of your head. He was giving you some protection from the wall behind you. That was thoughtful.

He smashed his lips to yours again.

He tried to attack your tongue like he did last time but you anticipated it. You took control sucking his into your mouth and running over it and sucking on it like it was his cock. 

Ignis ripped away from you. His skin was flushed and he was panting hard.

He reached down and put his hands on the back of your thighs. He pulled you close to him, crushing you against his hips. He moaned at the pressure of your body and bit down on the skin behind your ear.

Ignis was strong, he lifted you up and you cried out in shock as you wrapped your legs around his waist. He slammed you back against the wall. He had one hand under your legs supporting you, the other was roaming all around your body. 

You squeezed your legs around his hips, you had one hand in his hair and you were pulling on it. The dark noises coming from the back of his throat almost sounded like a growl. 

He moved to attach his lips to your neck but was blocked by your scarf. It took him a few seconds to work out what it was, he was not happy that there was any obstruction. 

“Take that off before I destroy it.”   
He growled out to you, his voice as low in octave as it was in patience. 

You weren’t playing that game. 

You reached behind his head and gripped onto his hair. You pulled on it roughly, forcing his head back. Then you yanked his head to the side.  
You leant down and attached your lips to the base of his neck above his collar bone. Where you knew the collars of his shirts wouldn’t cover it and started to suck, hard. Ignis moaned underneath you, not completely out of pleasure.

You kept sucking until you couldn’t anymore. You pulled away slightly and saw that the mark you left was dark and purple. Ignis kept moving his hips against yours. You pulled on his hair again before leaning back down to the dark, irritated skin and biting down on it.

I wasn’t your intention to draw blood, not really, but you also wanted to bite down as hard as you could.

Ignis cried out, it was almost a scream but you couldn’t focus on it because there was a hand against the back of your scalp. He ripped you off him. He was breathing hard and growling under his breath, you were sure you’d never heard him make a sound like that before. 

You didn’t need to see his eyes to know that he was unimpressed with you. 

He reached down and untangled your legs from his waist and put you back down onto the floor. Your legs were shaky and you almost fell but then somehow, and you had no idea how there were arms around you, moving and lifting you. You found yourself on your knees facing away from him. The tiles of the floor were hard underneath you. He pushed down on your shoulders until you lowered down onto your hands. The tiles were cold.

You heard a zipper and then felt your jeans being ripped downwards. You didn’t have any warning before Ignis was entering you from behind.

You cried out in shock at the intrusion, but also in pain. Your lower body burned as he forced himself inside your bruised flesh. It was almost bearable because of the potion you had earlier but it still hurt. 

He spanked you across one ass cheek, it hurt and that area was so sensitive. There was so much pain everywhere it was hard to focus. 

You screamed out as one of his hands found your clit. Your thighs were trembling and your brain started fizzing out, there was too much sensation for you to focus on.

The next thing you knew you were coming against the tiles. You felt Ignis lose himself inside you. He was panting hard as he pulled out of you. Your knees gave out and you fell against the cold floor. Your body ached and everything burned. You could feel wet between your legs as they moved together trying to right your body. You slowly moved until you could face him. 

He was just sitting on the tiles, pants undone and pushed down slightly, breathing hard. He looked disheveled and fucked and upset. 

After a while he stood up, found his cane in the corner, zipped himself back up, ran his hands through his hair and walked out of the bathroom. You couldn’t help the tears that fell once the door shut, leaving you sobbing on the floor. 

 

It took a while before you were ready to face the outside world.   
You cleaned up, wiping away the come and blood and tears from your skin. You knew there was no way you were not going to look fucked but decided to deal with it anyway.

It was with steeled nerves that you exited the bathroom and walked down the hallway.  
You could see Prompto still sitting at the table. He saw you approach.

“Ignis came back a little while ago and then left. What was it he wanted to talk to you about, oh.” and he stopped. Yeah he knew what was going on, you were sure everyone did. You were getting all kinds of looks from everyone. You ignored them and moved to sit down opposite him. 

Prompto was totally lost for words. You felt sick looking at him. 

Eventually he spoke up.

“Do you want another potion?” You knew he was trying to be helpful but it was the opposite really. 

You couldn’t keep it together after that.

Your head slammed into the table and you burst into tears once more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, this just got even worse.  
> Comments and Kudos appreciated. Let me know how much this fic is making you hurt, because it's definitely hurting me.   
> See you next time.


	5. Incapable

It was routine now, it felt like it had been so for your entire life rather than just a few days. You weren’t even sure how many days it had been, did it really matter? All the days dragged on forever but also blended into each other, you seemed to have lost all sense of time. You dreaded when the sun rose in the morning and you dreaded when it set.

It was routine now, waking up to an empty bed with the sun streaming into your eyes like it had a vendetta against you. It didn’t seem to matter what you did to the curtains, maybe Ignis was opening them in the morning and sabotaging you, or the world just hated you, again it didn’t matter. 

You would wake up alone to an empty room or just as Ignis was about to exit. You didn’t know how he kept getting up without waking you up, how he could somehow wash, dress and make his way to the door so quietly. You were left alone to wallow in your thoughts, to work out how you were going to get up and face each day. 

You would struggle out of bed on shaky legs that didn’t work quite right. Sometimes you fell down onto the carpet next to the bed, there was blood staining that spot now. The act of falling sometimes opening up wounds that hadn’t quite healed, or gravity working on the fluid caked between your legs. Sometimes you just sat on the floor trying to pull yourself together, it wasn’t easy.

You had put paper up on the bathroom mirror; you didn’t think Ignis knew that you had done it. It’s not like he was using it and you didn’t want to see whatever was in your reflection. The small glimpses you got of your body when you were changing were enough; you didn’t want to see how everything played together. As long as you had a scarf around your neck and long sleeves to hide the bruises and the welts, you couldn’t have given a shit about how your hair looked or how pronounced the dark circles under your eyes were. You could feel them when you rubbed your eyes but as long as you didn’t see them you could ignore that they existed. 

You would struggle through a shower, ignoring the liquid dripping down your thighs and the way your entire body ached. It was difficult to stay standing for so long that sometimes you didn’t. The hot water played havoc with your blood pressure; your body didn’t know what to do. It was torn between keeping you upright, healing the marks on your body, or moving around so that the activities causing the marks wouldn’t be too painful or trying to work through the emotional exhaustion of everything. It was hard being alone with your thoughts like that and so you were out of there before you had even properly finished most days. 

You were greeted at breakfast by silence and sad faces, with food waiting for you and a potion beside it. They all looked at you as you downed the bitter drink but you didn’t care. You weren’t sure if Ignis knew you were being given a potion, would he have even cared if he did? Prompto was only giving you one every morning because you looked like you needed one right? You didn’t even think they were helping anymore, you were completely numb. 

The rest of the day would be spent working out what the fuck you were going to do next. Ever since Noctis had awoken that train of thought had gone into overdrive, you couldn’t stay in Altissia, it was just too painful. Noctis was broken it seemed, the weight of everything that had happened was too much for him. He felt responsible for all of it, the Leviathan, Altissia being in ruins, Ignis and Luna, it was too much for someone as sheltered as he to bear. No one was bothering to try and comfort him, Gladio just yelled at him and Prompto looked on with his eyes cloudy with tears. Ignis said nothing as usual. You felt like maybe you should have comforted him but you thought you would have done a shit job of it so didn’t bother. It’s not like you were in any kind of state to be of any help anyway. 

Noctis had to go to Niflheim, that was obvious. He needed to go to Tenebrae and see if anything was left. He needed to go and get Shiva’s blessing. He needed to find the rest of the Royal Arms. All of that looked further and further away with each passing day. 

There was a tomb on that continent, it had surprised all of you when Ignis brought it up and why he even knew in the first place. That had been the only words he had spoken on that day. The conversation was forced when plans were being discussed but apart from there was silence. Even though there were always other people chattering in the lobby the silence at your table was deafening, everyone else stayed away. 

Without fail, Ignis and Gladio would head off for a doctor’s appointment around 3pm, you would sit sometimes with Prompto and Noctis, sometimes on your own and wait patiently. There weren’t many words between you, Prompto tried but Noctis just stared off into space. The forced conversation tended to turn into discussions about old times which hurt. About the fact that King’s Knight didn’t work anymore and stories about the road trip that felt like so long ago. Prompto tried to bring out his camera once but looking back on the pictures was too painful. The scenery had almost been too much, but once you caught a glimpse of Ignis you got up and walked away.

That was your respite for the day before Ignis would return and pull you aside. Sometimes it in the hallway bathroom again, other times it was in your room, on the bed, on the floor in the bathroom, it didn’t seem to matter.

You gave your tired, aching body to him over and over again.

It hurt but you were used to it, it made you feel like you were nothing. It made you feel like curling up and giving yourself into the darkness but it helped Ignis and that’s all that mattered. 

Ignis would finish, regain his composure and then leave straight away afterwards. It was like having to actually deal with you and what he had done was the worst thing ever. You had grabbed him once, clung to him like he was life itself while you weren’t able to fight back your tears. 

He had actually held you for a moment, pressed you close to his body like you were everything but it wasn’t meant to be. He had kissed your hair and whispered,

“sorry”

with his voice breaking like it was the most difficult word on Eos to say.

But as soon as it was out of his mouth he got up and left you sobbing on the floor again. You felt like you had been torn in two after that and so you hadn’t done it again. You could understand the reasons behind everything, but it didn’t make it better.

Ignis would disappear back to your room after that, once you had regained your composure you didn’t want to be near him and so returned back to the lobby. Gladio would stare daggers at you and you would ignore him. If he wanted to it to stop then he should do something about it, because you were fine the way things were. It had taken Noctis a few days actually, to work out what was going on. He was always so naïve, and it’s not like he was really focusing on anything right now, he just existed in his own head until he was pulled out of it. He didn’t know what to say to you and so didn’t say anything. 

Hours later Ignis would return downstairs, there would be silence and food and then you would retire for the night.

You would wait around downstairs, staring at the ceiling after he went to bed, waiting for him to perform his nightly routine. You didn’t want to be there and stayed away.

By the time you came to bed Ignis was already asleep, or pretending to be at least. You would lie down on the other side of the bed to him, not touching him. You didn’t want startle him or wake him up but also sleeping on him meant being thrown off when he inevitably awoke from nightmares. He hadn’t summoned daggers since that night and the screaming had died down. He just woke up gasping for air, sometimes you slept through it but you always were woken up for the aftermath.

You couldn’t sleep through his lips on yours or against your skin. You couldn’t sleep through his hips pressing against yours and his weight crushing above you.

You always woke up eventually and he knew when you did. He wouldn’t enter you until he was sure you were awake. You would hold his head close to your chest as he left marks all over your skin and buried himself inside you over and over, wanting to forget. It was rough and painful but you were used to it now, it was almost comforting, the pain, it reminded you that you were alive and you felt less dead inside. 

After this you would fall asleep on him, because he wouldn’t sleep again. He would pull you to him and breathe heavily against your skin. You were masters of holding the tears back now; there was just the sound of breathing and almost sobs from the both of you. 

You knew this was fucked up, you knew he was hurting as well. You could see it in his face when you looked at him, but it’s not like either of you knew what to do.   
You didn’t talk about it; just fell into this routine over and over again. It wasn’t that you didn’t want to talk about it, you just didn’t know what to say, you were sure he didn’t either and besides it had been going on for long enough now that it was probably too late to talk about it and sort it out. 

You were alright enough with everything that was happening, so that was ok for a few days anyway until the routine was interrupted by the conversation you had all been dreading. Once going to Niflheim became a reality you had to decide what to do about Ignis. 

 

You were done with everything by that point. The conversation had been going in circles and going nowhere. Gladio had pulled his alpha male card.

“Ignis isn’t coming with us and that’s that. It’s not safe we don’t know what’s going to happen.”

You hadn’t even been able to stop the words from leaving your mouth. “I’m so fucking done with your shit Gladiolus.” You stood up from your seat and walked over to him. Even sitting he was almost the same height as you. You looked him straight in the eyes as you spoke.

“There is no way you are sending either of us back to Cape Caem. I am not going to be the person that finds him with his wrists slit in the bathroom because you fucking threw him away like he was nothing.”

Everyone was silent and staring at the both of you. A quick glance to Ignis showed that his face was neutral and devoid of emotion. There was a loud screeching as Gladio pushed his chair back, he stood up to his full height and looked down at you. You couldn’t make eye contact with him anymore and so you stepped back a bit. You were short, a lot shorter than he was. You weren’t afraid of him, not at all but the way he spread himself out, making himself look even larger. The way you could see the muscles of his chest rippling under his jacket as he tried to control his breaths, it was terrifying. You were struggling to stop yourself from shaking, you told yourself it was from fatigue and from your legs not behaving. 

“Do you think Ignis is the problem here?” He was trying to make his voice seem calm but it cracked around the edges. “You can’t even walk; I can see you can hardly able to stand up right now.” He stopped and punctuated each syllable of the next sentence.  
“We can’t carry you; it’s going to be dangerous. We can’t deal with you needing to skol potions just to get up in the morning.” He clenched his fists by his side. “Do you know how thin the walls here are? Because I do.”

You didn’t even know what you wanted to get out of this conversation anymore, all your anger disappeared and you stepped back.

“Why don’t you take that scarf off and show us what you look like. I’m sure it’s gotten worse. You’re not in any state to be making decisions. You and Ignis need to go back.”

You stilled your breathing and opened your mouth. Your throat was sore, you had raised your voice and it hurt. Now it came out quietly.

“I was in the city when it fell you know. I watched everything I had ever known fall apart. I saw the old wall come alive, there were the kings of old as statues fighting Nif daemons. I saw the wall shatter. I thought I was going to die.”

You paused and took in a breath before continuing. 

“Cor didn’t want me to come with him to meet you, he wanted to send me to Lestallum with Iris. He took one look at me in my dress and high boots and didn’t want to bother, it’s not like I fucking knew the apocalypse was going to happen when I got dressed that morning. I broke into his car you know, I sat there for hours before he relented and brought me along. I am not being left behind again. The four of you are all I have left. I have nothing to my name at all. I’m fucking done with being treated like a child.”

You turned and started to walk away before stopping. “This conversation is over and if you have anything to add then you can say it when we’re all on the next continent.”

You stormed off while everyone else sat speechless at the table. 

 

Once you got upstairs you sat down on the bed. You were shaking, from adrenaline, from just everything. You couldn’t get your body to calm down.

It was probably half an hour later when there was a tentative knock on the door. You were about to tell them to go away when the door opened and Ignis cautiously made his way inside. 

“On the bed.” You called out, that was the courteous thing to do at least. 

You watched him make his way over, slowly and carefully. He came and sat down next to you, you were breathing pretty heavily so you assumed he knew where you were.  
There was silence for a few moments.

“What you did just then was.”  
“Foolish.” You responded.

Ignis chuckled.

“I was going to say arousing.”

You stopped and turned to look at him. You didn’t have any words to say to that but you knew it wasn’t really arousing. It just made him hurt enough to want to come and seek relief. You figured it would help you calm down.

You were so sore you didn’t think you could manage but there were other things you could do.

You didn’t say anything as you moved off the bed, you could see his face following the sounds of your breathing as you sank down on the floor, onto that spot stained with blood and moved your way between his legs.

His breath hitched as your hands ran up his inner thighs. He was wearing jeans and the fabric felt rough under your hands. You could see the visible outline of him, pressed against his left thigh and straining against the fabric of his jeans. You didn’t really want to draw the process out and so you fairly quickly ran your hands along his zipper pulling it down as you went.

Ignis groaned loudly above you but otherwise kept quiet.

You could see his cock jumping against him in time with his pulse now it was less confined. You pulled his jeans and underwear down in one movement, you watched his flushed cock spring up hard against his abs and pulse against his skin. Ignis was looking down at you with closed eyes in anticipation. Previously he had really enjoyed this while being blindfolded, maybe this would be the same. 

You reached out and wrapped your hand around his base. He was too long for you to deep throat and you didn’t even try anymore. You knew your limits and your hand gave you a good way of knowing not to go any further.   
You squeezed tight around his cock and you heard a gasp that morphed into a shaky exhale above you. You took in a big breath in to steady yourself as well before you leant down.

You licked a long stripe up the length of him, flicking your tongue around the head. You felt a hand gently slide into your hair and rest there. You felt it tighten and pull on you slightly as you took the tip into your mouth and sucked down. You moved down until your lips hit your hand and then moved back up.

Ignis was moaning now, his head hung forwards against his chest. His thighs were trembling and you had barely even begun. You sucked on his head while you brought your other hand up to his hip. You held him, mostly to try and ground him and keep him steady. He was breathing heavily, bucking his hips gently against you. 

You moved your lips down again, pressing him against the roof of your mouth, while running your tongue against the soft skin. You felt the hand in your hair tighten and yank. You moaned out around his cock in response to the pain and were rewarded by his hips surging forward against you.   
You squeezed your hand on his hip to keep him steady. Raising yourself up, you carefully caught your teeth on the smooth spot at the base of the head before pressing your tongue against the length of him and sucking. Ignis cried out your name loudly as you then pulled off him with an obscene pop.

“Ignis darling you need to calm down” you said to him, turning to face up and look at him.

He looked awful. Dishevelled, eyes scrunched shut, that couldn’t have been comfortable. He was breathing heavily, taking in large pants that caused his chest to rise and his abs to tense and untense, his cock jumping in time with his pulse now that you weren’t holding it steady. His hand tightened in your hair and his breathing quickened.

He was moaning now in frustration that he wasn’t being touched, his hips rocking slightly against the air.

“I’ll take care of you but you need to relax a little bit for me ok”

He was silent apart from his breaths that filled the air. He slowed his breathing a little bit but not enough. You wanted to comfort him a little, pull him close to you and calm him down before you continued, but you also wanted it over with, seeing him like this hurt.

You sighed and squeezed down on his hip again before leaning down and taking him back into your mouth once again.

He shouted your name as you sucked down on him. You could feel him pulsing against your lips, you knew he was close. 

You squeezed your hand around him while you pressed your tongue against the length of him. You sucked a few times and that was it.

Ignis came with a shout and a groan. He was holding your head in place as you swallowed down around his cock. There wasn’t that much there and you swallowed down his release easily. 

He said your name softly as he released his grip on you. You pulled away from him and coughed slightly. Your moved your hands to his thighs and gripped onto them while you caught your breath.

 

Suddenly there were hands on your shoulders and you were being lifted. Ignis grabbed you easily and pulled you on top of him while he lay back on the bed, pressing you flush against his body.

His lips found yours and he kissed you hard, his tongue was everywhere, for a moment anyway. You knew he could taste himself on you, normally he didn’t really mind but after a few moments he pulled away. He whined against your cheek, maybe the taste was heightened because of his eyesight but he didn’t kiss you again.

His hand was on your ass the other on your hip. Grinding you down against him, his lips were on your neck but they were gentle, it was surprising. He wasn’t biting or sucking down, just pressing kisses on your sore raised flesh. It was a little bit painful because you were so sensitive but you could manage. 

You heard him cry out in pain as the button of your jeans caught on his soft flesh. You found yourself on your back suddenly, a body pressing hard on top of you and teeth pressed hard against your shoulder. You could feel the teeth against your skin but he didn’t break it for once. 

He moaned against you before he was moving downwards, grazing across your skin but being gentle. Rewarding you for a job well done maybe? It made you feel sick. 

It didn’t take long before there was a tongue running up and down against your hip bones and a hand between your legs, running across your thighs on the outside of your jeans. You knew he was showing off when he undid the zipper with his teeth. The sight was hot but you couldn’t help thinking about everything. About how this was pity, like you deserved a reward for doing a good job, because it’s not like he cared about your wellbeing anymore.

Almost the second your jeans and panties were low enough there was a tongue against your clit. It made you cry out, the sensation was incredible, he knew exactly how to rile you up. 

Even without his sight he knew where to touch. 

Between his tongue against your folds and fingers inside you, his other hand running up and down your hips and your thighs. You quickly became a panting mess against him. Your hips writhing and pushing yourself against his lips. He got you close, right at the edge and you were panting and crying out his name. His hand had moved to hold your hips still while he worked. You didn’t know how many fingers were inside of you, you had totally lost track. You were trembling and panting and just about to come when he pulled away.

It took a moment to realise what had happened. You yanked on his hair in annoyance, looking down at him as he wiped his mouth on the back of his hand. He was smirking at you and you wanted to punch it off his face. You pulled harder on his hair and he cried out in pain, good he deserved it. 

He moved up your body. Moving his hand between your legs again and stroking you. His lips were by your ear. 

He started whispering to you. Sweet words about how good you felt against him, it made you want to throw up. There was a hand caressing your hip while his other played with you. It was caring, gentle and soft and more than you could take.

Why was he doing this? You were so worked up from being edged but now your body wasn’t listening to you. You felt repulsed and you couldn’t handle it anymore. 

“Ebony”

You said it so softly you weren’t sure if he would have heard it, you weren’t even sure you had said it honestly until he stopped. Slender fingers removed themselves from inside you and the large weight above you disappeared. You watched him sit back and compose himself, licking his fingers and then wiping across his mouth with the back of his arm. You sat up and pulled your knees up to your chest. You watched the emotions play out on his face before he moved up the bed towards you.

He reached a hand out and placed it on your shoulder.

“My love, what is it?”

You pulled away from his touch. 

“You can’t just do this to me. I don’t want any of this.” You fought back tears as your body shook.

“You can’t just use me one moment and then try and make up for it later that’s not how this works. I love you but this is fucked up. I’m done. Goodnight Ignis.”

And you rolled over as far away on the bed as you could from him and closed your eyes. There was shifting beside you but he did settle down.

 

You were woken hours later by screaming and then sobbing. Again.

You sighed and sat up, you moved over into his lap and pulled his head to your chest. Arms came around you as you could feel the wetness of tears falling between your breasts and you knew the tears were stained with blood. 

You reached between your legs and adjusted both of your bodies until he was inside you and he could forget all of it.

You comforted him with your body the only way you knew how at the moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is this less sad than the last one? I can't tell honestly.
> 
> Next Time we'll be on the train, so look forward to that.
> 
> I loved all the feedback I got for how awful the last chapter was. Keep it coming I love reading about what a terrible person I am for putting you through this. Just remember I'm putting myself through it too writing it.


	6. Inexplicable

Niflheim was beautiful even as the train raced past its scenery and you struggled to get a good look at it; it was a different shade of green to Lucis. The trees, the plants the scenery were like nothing you had ever seen and the train, well there had been a subway back in Insomnia but it was nothing like this. This train was old, with booths and beds, a food car and crackly PA system that had seen better days. There was no experience you could compare this to and the journey was going to take days, you didn’t think you’d ever spent more than 30 minutes on a train in Insomnia. You had only been on this train for a few hours, the first night hadn’t even passed and already you felt totally out of your depth. 

Even though you had talked about it for a week, even though you were physically there right now you couldn’t believe you were actually on this continent, so far away from what used to be your home. 

It had taken so long to organise everything to get you here. You had needed the help of that woman, the Secretary of Accordo, or whatever she was. She had treated all of you with so much contempt and barely even offered the minimum of help. It was bad enough having to listen to her go on and on, at least you didn’t have to speak with her; that had been Noctis’ job. But Six had you wanted to punch her in the face, especially for the way she looked at Ignis. 

Sure she had gotten all of you and the Regalia over to this continent and organised the train ride and provisions, all at expense to the Crown of course. She had looked at you like you were nothing, lower than anything and it’s not like you were going to deny that you were. You could handle anything directed at yourself but you couldn’t handle the way she had spoken down to Ignis. Obviously she expected him to not join you, expecting for him to be relieved from his duty to the crown or left behind. The look she had given once Noctis had insisted he was joining you to Altissia made you furious. 

Today had been a waste of a day; you had gotten on the train, dumped your luggage in your room and had an awfully sad shower. The room was a tiny space with 2 bunk beds, definitely not enough for all of you but you hadn’t discussed sleep arrangements yet.

All you had wanted to do was crawl in bed and be alone, you didn’t want to have to deal with any of them, but you had been kicked out of the room. 

Gladio was impossible to be around, always trying to provoke Noctis and always confrontational to everyone. Noctis was distraught and quiet and unhappy, Prompto was constantly on the verge of tears and Ignis well, he was unchanged. 

Ignis was still quiet; still lacking in his normal sense of humour. It came out occasionally, reminding you that he was still in there but then it would disappear almost as quickly into dark silences and blank closed eye stares. 

As for yourself, today wasn’t a good day. 

There had been a mirror in the bathroom.

It was a small, grimy thing that would have highlighted even a supermodel’s flaws. It’s not like you expected to recognise the reflection looking back at you, but it definitely was worse than what you expected. 

Your face was gaunt, sunken eyes rimmed with dark purple bags that looked more like bruises than anything else. Your skin was pale and lifeless looking. You thought you looked like a corpse, but maybe it was just the dim yellow light flickering from a tiny bulb that was definitely on its last legs. The worst part of all of that was that your scarf didn’t cover everything now, you couldn’t even remember being marked that high up your neck but the proof was irrefutable as angry blue-green bruises smirked back at you, embedded in your pale skin. 

You reached up to try and adjust yourself, to see if you could get them covered up but every small movement of the scarf just unveiled more bruises and they got worse and worse as they went lower down your neck. Your saw purple teeth marks become visible for a moment, you saw deep red cuts crossing your skin in a morbid symphony as you swallowed.

You decided to ignore them; it had served you well enough so far. 

 

You were sitting around a booth with the others around you. No one was talking and so it was just you alone with your thoughts. Your brain was an asshole and insisted on flashing back to before everything went to shit, to picnics in the park and long nights making love when your body didn’t ache, when your nerves were on fire in a different way.

You still loved Ignis, you didn’t love him any less because of his scars, if anything they made him more attractive. 

He was so damn perfect.

You wanted your brain and body to work together, you wanted to love him less because of what he was doing to you. The self-loathing you felt hurt more than the physical ache of your body that you had gotten used to. 

 

You were pulled out of your thoughts by Gladio walking up beside you, threading his large body through the narrow aisle of the carriage. You were sitting next to Ignis and opposite Prompto on the right side of the train with Noctis sitting at the booth across the aisle to the left. 

Gladio stopped in front of Noctis, his body language was awful. Immediately confrontational and you just sighed and waited for the obvious impending onslaught. He turned and faced Noctis who was still trying to ignore him. 

“The hell’s wrong with you?” Gladio’s voice was loud; it was never a good sign when he started out with his voice raised. 

Noctis was immediately on the defensive but his voice was steady. “What?”

“We’re not stopping in Tenebrae. You need to grow up and get over it.” You sighed and turned to face the commotion, it’s not like you could avoid it. Why was Gladio even bringing this up now? It was the first day on the train and you had multiple stops to make before you were even close to Tenebrae, this conversation did not need to happen at all. 

Noctis stood up and moved right into Gladio’s personal space but Gladio didn’t seem affected by the action at all. 

“I am over it. I’m here aren’t I?”

You could see Noctis’ fists clenching by his sides as he spoke. You hoped they wouldn’t come to blows on the train. 

Gladio reached out and grabbed Noctis by the chest, heaving him up close to his face.

“Maybe when you’re not too busy moping, you can look around and give a shit about someone that has it worse than you.” And he turns his body and by extension Noctis towards Ignis but, you’re in the way of their line of sight to him. Gladio sends a death stare in your direction like it’s your fault you’re wrecking his perfect plan, he should have sent you the memo.

“Let go of me.”

“How’s that ring fit you? You’d rather carry it around then wear it? She gave her life so you could do your duty, not so you could sit around feeling sorry for yourself.”

You thought that was uncalled for.

“You don’t think I know that.” But Gladio was talking over him.

“You don’t.” Gladio sighed but it wasn’t one of defeat no, he was merely preparing for the next act. “Ignis took one for you too and for what?”

Ignis then turns towards them and speaks up with his voice raised. For a second you think about how much worse it must be for him, he can’t see what’s going on. All he knows is that they’re fighting and that you can feel the tension in the air. His hand finds your leg and squeezes it tightly, you know what that means.

“Enough Gladio.” Ignis’ voice is stern but not loud, he is out of practice with using it. 

Gladio looks at him but doesn’t seem to pay his words any mind, turning back to Noctis. 

“You think you’re a King but you’re a coward.”

That seems to set him off enougn, Noctis is pushing against his chest then.

“Shut up.”

Then Prompto is up, he’s in the middle of it and he shouldn’t be. He is desperately trying to break them apart.

“Prompto don’t” you call out, but your voice is too soft and broken and it’s too late.

“Don’t do this.” Prompto says, trying to muster as much courage as he can and he’s not doing a bad job of it considering. Gladio looks down at him with distrain before pushing him away, hand on his face with enough force to throw him to the ground. 

Prompto hits the ground between the booths hard.

You’re up and moving towards him before you can think, helping pull him up and checking that he is ok. His face is red with emotion and his eyes are dark but he is otherwise unharmed.

“I get it alright. I get it” Noctis is yelling now.

Everyone on the train is looking at you. 

“Then get a grip. Pull your head out of your ass already.”

Noctis is done then; he turns on his heel and storms off, walking down the carriage and past all of the other terrified patrons that immediately get out of his way. 

 

You’re still knelt on the floor next to Prompto. He gently removes your hands from him and calls out after Noctis, moving to go after him.

“Leave him” comes the growl from next to you and the both of you look up to Gladio, breathing heavily, nostrils flaring, fists clenched but otherwise not moving. 

You went to sit back down but Ignis was already getting up. You reached a hand out for him once he stood up. 

“Would you accompany me back to the room?” he says with his voice soft.

“Of course Ignis” you reply as you reach out and put your arm around his waist, leading him around Gladio. 

You glared at Gladiolus as you walked past him, taking comfort in the fact that at least Ignis wouldn’t be able to see you death staring him. 

“You’re an asshole you know that.” You spat at him as you walked past, because he was but you also wanted him to know that he was directly responsible for what was going to happen between the two of you now. 

Gladio did nothing. 

You led Ignis down the train carriages to your sleeper car, the one you would all be sharing come nightfall. There were only 4 beds in there, 2 bunk beds. No one had discussed sleeping arrangements; it was the first day on the train after all. 

“Here Ignis.” You said as you unlocked the door, you took his cane from him and guided him inside. You hung his cane up on the coat-hook beside the door before closing and locking it behind you. The other’s all had keys but you figured they wouldn’t bother you, they all knew what was going on now. 

 

You were expecting it, for the door to close and for you to be pushed up against it and you were able to brace yourself for when your sore back hit the dark wood of the door. You were caged between Ignis’ arms and body and the door but he didn’t assault your lips this time, no, he just pressed his face against your shoulder and started crying.

You were a little bit taken aback but you were alright, moving your arms to hold him while he cried. You stayed like that for a while actually until he pulled away, his face streaked with tears and blood again.

“This is all my fault.” His voice is broken and soft against your skin. 

Then he falls against you, his weight presses you against the door and it creaks in protest. Ignis is sobbing loudly, pulling in deep, heavy breaths and the door groans loudly as each expansion of his chest presses you back against it. You run your hands up and down his back but it doesn’t seem to do anything, maybe you made it worse because suddenly he starts shaking against you. His hand grips your shoulder so hard it hurts, but you can’t focus on the pain because his hand is shaking so hard it’s physically moving your body. His breathing gets heavier but shallower at the same time, it seems like he can’t pull in enough air. He is shivering, you can feel it through his clothes, his body pressed tight against yours but his body temperature is warm, no, it’s more than warm, it’s scorching and the air around you become thick and hard to breathe. His body is convulsing as he struggles to fill his lungs and sweat drips from his brow. 

His breathing quickens even more, shallow but heaving breaths that don’t seem to provide him with any relief. 

You squeeze your arms around him but he cries out at your touch, well more like he chokes out a sob that echoes through the empty room. He is falling apart around you and his body starts convulsing against you. Your mind starts running in overdrive, moving through scenarios until you find one that sticks.

Is he having a panic attack?

“Ignis, darling, we’re going to go to the bed alright?” You say to him while pushing gently at him. He is still shaking and now he is struggling to breathe. You realise that there is absolutely no way you’ll be able to get him to the bed, you can feel his legs starting to give out from underneath him. He is clutching his hand to his chest and his hair is starting to stick to his face from sweat. Trying to force your brain to be coherent you do the first thing you can think of, putting your hand on his shoulders and pushing him down to the floor.

His legs give out and he goes down.

You kneel next to him and reach out, running your hands through his hair.

“Ignis you need to calm down, you need to slow your breathing.”

He cries out but otherwise doesn’t react to you. Your mind is racing.

You grab his hand and place it on your chest.

“Breathe with me Ignis.”

Then you start counting.

“One”  
“Two”  
“Three”

Over and over while deliberately exaggerating your breathing. You’re terrified. Adrenaline racing and it’s hard for you to slow yourself down. You can feel yourself shaking with the exertion of trying to stay calm but you try and supress it as much as you can. 

Ignis is still shaking, his hand unsteady against your chest but you seem to get through to him and he starts breathing slightly slower. 

 

It takes a long time because his breathing changes to anything manageable, he stops clutching at his chest and his hand drops uselessly by his side. His breathing I still hard but he has stopped shaking.

He drags his hand from your chest down to your waist, the touch leaves a hot trail that seeps in through your clothes and your breath hitches when his hand tightens around you. You breathe out and reach up, you take his glasses off and fold them on the floor next to you. You lean forward and press your lips to his forehead while your arms snake around his neck and pull him close. 

He pulls you the rest of the way, pulling you flush to his body.

You stay like that for a long time.

It hurts; it’s like a physical pain in your chest as you struggle to hold back your sobs against him. Your thoughts are moving at a million miles an hour, your body riled up. You had tried the past few days, for more than that, for god knows how long to convince yourself that you needed to end this. But in this moment, with your bodies pressed together on the floor of a train speeding off into darkness you knew you had been lying to yourself. You loved him just as much as you always had, maybe more.

Ignis then speaks up, his voice is rough and shaky.

“Can you help me to the bed?”

You nod against him and know he can feel it. You pick his glasses up from next to you and then help him stand up. You walk him over to the bed and let him feel his way to sit down. You place his glasses on the table in the centre of the room before moving back to him.

You watch as he runs a hand back through his hair, it sticks up from sweat but he doesn’t seem to care, he might not even be able to feel where it’s sitting. His breathing is normal now but he looks shaken and upset, his face streaked with smeared blood and tears with his closed eyes scrunched tight. He reaches out for you and pulls you into his lap; he squeezes so hard that you feel the pressure on your ribs. He feels wet and sticky and you tug at him until he loosens up. 

“Let’s get this off you before it makes you sick.” You say as you reach a hand between you and start undoing the buttons on his ruined shirt. He leans back for you and lets you pull it off his shoulders. 

The dim light of the room makes the silver of his scars stand out against his pale skin. They are almost all healed up and the giant burst on his shoulder has faded to a dull brown, the skin twisted but looking far less painful. He doesn’t seem to flinch as you press against his bare skin when he pulls you closer. His grip is softer this time.

Your body is confused because he isn’t moving his hands to your ass, or rocking you against his lap, mouthing at your neck and jaw like you’re his life force. It doesn’t know what to think. 

He pulls away from you and tilts your head up to look at him. It’s almost creepy that he knows exactly where your eyes are in this position and you can see the focus in his face as his closed eyes seek your out. His breathing is normal now but he seems lost for words.

“I appreciate you assisting me earlier.”

You nod and smile against him, then there are soft fingers on the side of your lips, seeking you out until he can feel that you are smiling. 

“I am fatigued after that, would you stay with me while I rest?”

You node against and move off his lap so he can lie down.

 

You just started tracing patterns on his skin, it was something that always relaxed you and something he had never complained about. What started as well intentioned random patterns quickly turned into your hands tracing the network of scars across his body. You hadn’t even noticed you were doing it until a hand grabbed your own. 

“I’m sorry” you said as soon as you realised what you had done but he shook his head. He grabbed your hand with his and moved it across his chest to the edge of the giant burnt red of his shoulder. He moved your hand across the outside of it a few times, so you could get an idea of what he wanted.

“This feels” He began before trailing off as you repeated he action of your own accord. He took in a sharp breath. 

“Ignis. Do you know what this one looks like?”

He shook his head.

You traced around the outside of it again.

“The skin here is a dark brown, it feels smooth but it’s twisted. It looks like a star bust, it is” and you stopped “Pretty in the most morbid of ways. Your eye looks the same.”

Your moved your hands down his body until you were tracing the gash across his hip.

“This one is raised up but the gash has faded to silver. It was bright red when I first saw it. It’s almost faded to nothing.”

You moved your across his body, he took in a sharp breath as you moved across his abs and his hips squirmed slightly under your touch. You didn’t want to but you also had to know. You ran a fingertip lightly in a circle across his pale skin, tracing around the brand on his hip. That one didn’t seem to have healed, it was still dark red. A perfect rendition of crest of the Lucian royal family, the same beautiful design that was etched on the hilt of his daggers, seared into his flesh. Ignis shivered under your touch and inhaled sharply, maybe he was anticipating what you had to say. 

“Ignis” 

You lowered your voice and tried to sound the least intimidating you could, you didn’t think you were doing a good job of it though. 

“This one, it has a shape to it, do you know what it is?” 

Ignis doesn’t respond, not verbally anyway but you can see his head move slightly in a nod as he inhales sharply.

You knew what you had to ask next, but the words hurt as they come out. 

“Was this done with your daggers?”

You’re watching his face now, and you can pick up his almost imperceptible nod, his lip is trembling and his body is shaking slightly, he looks on the verge of another panic attack. 

You take a large breath and you can feel yourself falling apart. Your voice cracks as you try to get out your next question. You suddenly can’t stop your hands from trembling against his marred skin and you can feel tears you can’t control escaping from your eyes.

“Ignis” You say before you have to stop and compose yourself. Your voice has totally betrayed you and you know you’ve lost all hope of trying to keep it together. 

More tears fall down your cheeks. 

“Ignis. Did you... Did you do this to yourself?”

Your eyesight is blurry from tears and you find that you can’t focus on his face to look for his tiny nod, but you don’t need to. You know it from the way he inhales, from the way his body shakes underneath you, and from the way tears once again streak red down his face.

The answer was yes.

You find that you can’t control yourself anymore. You’re sobbing loudly and your body is shaking and suddenly you can’t focus. 

You move down and bury your head into his shoulder and you wrap your arms around him. You can feel his sobs vibrating through his chest and you know he can feel yours too. Arms come around your back and squeeze you too tight but you feel numb to all of it. You can feel wet against your hair and you know it’s being painted with bloody tears again but it doesn’t matter. 

This changes everything.

 

You stayed like that for a while, your bodies pressed together while you cried. You didn’t seem to be able to stop your tears. It was a like a physical ache inside of you, like your heart was torn in two and your body supplied what it figured would be a good way to dull the pain.

To your absolute horror and disgust, although you thought it made sense, it was you that initiated it this time. You felt like you didn’t have control of your body anymore, it just started pressing down and grinding against him of its own accord. The angle was awful and one part of your mind felt that you were just rutting against his thigh like some kind of animal, but another part of your mind, the fucked up part thought that this was perfect. It felt good and you couldn’t stop yourself from moaning, from biting down on his shoulder and it made you felt better when you heard him cry out underneath you.

You didn’t remember getting his pants down low enough or how your jeans managed to disappear. You didn’t remember if Ignis gave any indication that he consented to this action, but that definitely wasn’t on the forefront of your mind. 

Ignis cried out as you sank down on his cock and his hands came to grip hard on your waist. You ignored the burn inside of you, you were used to doing that now as you tried to sit as far down on him as you could. It felt like maybe he could reach far enough inside you to fix the empty feeling in the pit of your stomach.

Was this how he felt? Was this why he kept doing this to you?

Your nails dug hard into his skin as you used him for support and you rode him like there was nothing else in the world, it made you forget about everything. 

Ignis was moaning loudly but not all of them were in pleasure. You could see deep red welts appearing across his chest from your nails. There were fingerprint marks left on the sides of his waist from where he struggled against your touch and you just gripped him tighter, it felt good when he squirmed against you. 

Your tears kept falling as you rocked your hips, your vision was blurry, all of the colours seemed saturated and yet dull at the same time and there was so much red. It covered his face and his chest, it stained the sheets around you and you could see it pooling in streaks on his hips and the inside of your legs. It made it easier to move against him anyway.

You weren’t even touching yourself; completion was the last thing you were interested in, doing this just made you forget.

Your hips just kept moving faster and faster and Ignis just kept crying out louder and louder, gripping onto your tighter as your nails dug harder into his skin.

You knew when he came.

His voice cracked and he cried out, you were sure the entire train could hear it. Hands and nails gripped your hips so hard it almost felt like he was scraping against the bone. The bed protested under your weight and your movements but you didn’t care. You kept up your pace and didn’t stop your hips from moving. 

You felt numb to everything except the feel of warmth running down your legs, you could feel it pooling against where your bodies were joined as you continued to rock against him. You felt nails scratching at your hips now, the pain felt good; it made you forget the dull burning inside of you.  
You could hear words and you knew you should listen to them but your body didn’t want to obey. Everything around you seemed foggy.

Everything came crashing down at once.

Ignis was crying, actually crying and begging you to stop. He was clawing at your hips and trying to hold you still. Your hips stuttered to a halt and you could hear him cry out in relief. 

You moved off him in a daze and he let out a strangled cry. 

“Shit. Fuck. Ignis. I didn’t.”

He took in a few breaths and tried to regain himself. 

“It’s quite alright” but his voice was strained, he opened his arms out for you and you moved into them, lying on his chest. Your entire lower body burned from exertion, between your legs ached from overstimulation but pulsed from not having had a release. The sheer strength of the ache had you moving a hand between your legs without even thinking about it. It didn’t take anything; a few seconds of touching before you were losing yourself, biting down on the muscle underneath your head while you came against his leg. There was so much liquid between your legs, tacky like your own fluid, thick like his release and viscous like your blood and it was all over the both of you and the sheets. 

You didn’t want to move, and it seemed Ignis didn’t either. You slipped into your shared uncomfortable silence, again not speaking and ignoring everything around you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter went in a different direction to where I expected so I didn’t get through everything I wanted. We’ll still be on the train in the next chapter.   
> I actually cried while writing this, I’m sure you can work out where. I wasn’t expecting my own stuff to have that kind of effect on me but there you go.
> 
> So, how painful was that? What did you think? Was this enough pain for you or do you want more? Who even is in the wrong or right anymore?  
> Let me know, I love hearing from all of you.


	7. Intolerable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter's a bit late because I was on holiday. Please accept my offering of two smut scenes in this chapter to make up for it.

It was still dark when you were jolted awake by the back and forth of the train. The slow rock was fairly relaxing, until it hit a bump of course. You had hoped you might sleep through the night, but it was not meant to be. 

You lay there just listening to the train rocking trying to clear your head. If you listened hard enough you could faintly make out the wet, sloppy sound of daemons materialising and crying out in the dark. None of them bothered the train but the sound was disconcerting and terrifying.  
The room was quiet, apart from Gladio snoring but you were used to that sound after all of that time spent camping, it was just part of the general ambience now. 

You weren't sure how much time had passed before you felt it, the rough, unmistakable texture to the air that was magic. It felt like a small static charge moving across your skin, nothing physical but yet it was there. It made the air slightly more difficult to breathe like there was heavy humidity, like something was not quite right. 

It was slowly getting stronger, progressing from something unnoticeable to now something tangible, almost like you could reach out and touch it. You decided to get it over with now, to fix the problem before it got worse, there was no point in the others waking up for it. 

You sighed and threw the covers off, some thin blanket that you hadn't thought did very much until it was suddenly gone. The cold hit you, seeping almost into your bones, it felt like it came out of no where. As you stood up on shaky legs that werent quite prepared to support your weight yet, you could see your breath in front of you, forming in front of your face in a slightly shining blue cloud as it reacted with the magic swirling around you. 

You willed your legs to behave, ignoring the dull ache between them and the rest of your body that you were all too used to. You navigated carefully over to the bunk opposite yours, taking care not to disturb the slumbering giant passed out on the centre of the floor. Some fucking bodyguard. He hadn't even stirred at the feel of magic in the air, though it was attaching itself to you and ignoring everyone else. Your vision was lit up now by faint dancing blue particles, swirling around your head. You could feel the power of it whipping around you, raising the hair on your arms and causing your skin to tingle. 

You stopped moving as you heared Gladio roll over, you stole a glance down but his hulking form was still asleep. You rolled your eyes at him; it made you feel better even if no one could see it. You were not pleased with him currently; almost all of this was his fault anyway. 

When you thought about it logically it made sense but it didn't make it easier to handle. In Altissia, Ignis had known what was going on; he knew where he was and what it all looked like even if he couldn't see it, he knew what needed to be done. But now, all of you were hurtling down enemy territory with no idea what you were even doing there. 

Blinded in more ways than one in a foreign land, a dangerous land, in the heart of enemy territory. He didn't know where you were going or what it was supposed to look like. You hadn't even known what a sleeper car was; chances were high that he hadn't either. He had no way to quantify where he was or what he was doing. 

It was no wonder he had closed himself off, why he was mostly silent, why he seemed to ignore it when they fought. You hadn't helped that at all, not with your new revelation that it felt good to hurt him back. Maybe it wasn't reasonable to place all the blame on Gladio, but that wasn't going to stop you from doing it anyway.

That had all been some hours ago anyway. In between walking back to find Prompto sulking in the booth and bed time someone had cleaned up the mess you had made. The sheets were new and it was like nothing had happened. That bed had almost silently been designated Ignis' though, you found that fascinating, considering that for once most of the blood had been his and not yours. Wasn't that some irony? 

Gladiolus had taken the floor like the self righteous prick that he was. To better deal with threats he had said, you figured it was just so that there was a body between you and Ignis, not that it would have stopped anything. Everyone already knew what was going on, it's not like experiencing proof of it would cause them any harm. 

Prompto and Noctis had the top bunks; Noctis above Ignis and Prompto over yourself. It was a sort of silent insistence, Ignis obviously couldn't climb the ladder and the last thing you all needed was him waking up in a panic and falling out of bed. 

You turned and sat down on the bed beside Ignis. You could see his face lit up by the blue swirling around you, it was clinging to him too. His features were screwed up tight, a thin line of blood running down his cheek from his burnt eye. The eyelid was sunken in when he was lying on his back, now that some of the swelling had gone down and there was nothing behind it to give it shape. The dark shadows and blood looked like something from a horror film as the blue light cast its shadows and made it impossible to focus on the sight. 

You said his name softly, not quite a whisper.

There was no response.

You reached down and ran a hand through slightly damp sleep mussed hair and said his name again, as loud as you dared. 

A sightless eye opened, the grey pupil darting wildly trying to gain traction in the dark, the magic around you flared up. You said his name again, tugging slightly on his hair. His eye slowed but didnt stop its fruitless quest to focus. The magic around you faded away in a dull flash of blue. 

"There was magic. Again." you said, "I didn't want it to wake anyone else up."

He said nothing but there was a slight nod of understanding as he sat up in bed. He was breathing sort of heavy but it was difficult to tell. He was shaking slightly from grogginess, from fatigue, from being pulled out of whatever dreams or nightmares plagued his being, from being drained from the subconscious magic use. 

There was a sigh and his dark eye closed once more. 

A hand reached out and swiped at empty air a few times before it found you. Closed eyes bored into the empty air just next to your head. His hand brushed across your torso and you could see the expressions playing across his face as he tried to map out where you were, how you were sitting. You knew once he had worked it out as one hand reached out and found your breast, palming at it while another came around the back of your hips. You were pulled into his lap, awkwardly, sideways but it didn't seem to matter as you were pressed flush against his body.

Lips. Lips and morning breath crashed against your own and you knew you weren't much better as you returned his embrace. Teeth clacked together as he misjudged the distance and force required. There were tongues too, moving against each other but you were too fatigued, too groggy from sleep to try and make sense of it. There were hands on your hips, against your ass moving and grinding you back and forth even though you were sort of sideways in his lap straddling his leg. He was hard against your thigh, far too hard and just kept grinding whatever part of you was pressed against it down. He was breathing hard, gasping quietly for air, far too worked up for the few minutes you had been doing this. 

You rolled your eyes under closed lids as you nipped at his bottom lip and pushed against his bare chest with your palms, pulling away from him and pressing against his skin to stop him from following you. 

"The others, they're all right there asleep. Unless you've forgotten?"  
There was movement, hands on your shoulders pushing you back until you were lying down on your back the wrong way on the bed. He settled down over you, hips between your legs, hardness against your core and arms in either side of your shoulders. He leant over you as a mouth descended near your ear. 

"You better keep me quiet then Kitten." Came a feather light whisper against your skin before a tongue moved across your jaw and down your neck. You opened your mouth to retort but then there were long fingers between your legs and you snapped your mouth shut, your words dying as you struggled to suppress a moan. 

He knew exactly how to play you. 

It took an embarrassingly short time for you to be writhing under him, biting down on your arm to keep quiet. He was biting hard on your neck now; it was getting difficult for you to not cry out in pain. He brought you right to the edge before he stopped. His fingers slowed down and he smirked at you as he felt your hips press against his and a whine get stuck in your throat. 

There were lips at your ear once again. 

There were words whispered against your skin. They sounded like they weren't directed to anyone in particular. 

"It was a trap." There were fingers pressing against your core again, toying with your clit as you bucked your hips trying to stay quiet so you could listen to him. 

"I did what was required of me to continue with my duty." and with that long fingers were pressed inside you. You bit down on your arm until it hurt, trying to be quiet. The movement of his fingers and your hips were causing the bed to creak but that was unimportant as you could still hear him.   
He adjusted his weight and sat up on his knees as his clean hand moved down your body. It rested on your hip and he moved his thumb with some pressure over the dip in your skin. The fingers between your legs stopped. 

"This one here my love" he whispered against your skin as he rubbed over your hip. You put it together then, it was where the brand was on his body. His hand moved then, it took your own in a gentle grip and then moved it over his skin, pressing it over where his brand was, on the opposite side to where his hand had been before on your body. 

"This was one of the least painful because I did it myself. It was preferable to the alternative."  
He thrust two fingers inside you then, stopping you from processing his words as he curled fingers against your g spot, which of course he found effortlessly. 

"Ignis"

You called out his name, somewhat in pleasure, somewhat in pain, somewhat muffled by your arm against your lips but still far too loud. 

He mouth trailed down your body then until his tongue found your folds.

He continued to spill his secrets between your legs, but you couldn't make out the words anymore. The room was quiet apart from your too loud muffled gasps and the bed creaking under your movements. You decided to ignore the obscene wet noise permeating the air. 

When you come against his lips, you bite down on your arm to keep quiet. It doesn't really help.   
When he moves back up your body and presses wet salty kisses to your lips you ignore the taste and kiss him back hard because you did hear him. 

You feel terrible when he starts to rut against your hip. You can feel him smearing wet against your leg through his underwear and guilt kicks in that you're doing this. Again. 

You tug him over until he is lying in his side, you press fingers to his lips to remind him to keep quiet as you trail hands down his body. 

You reach down and wrap your shaking hand around his cock; he bucks against you and throws his head back. You squeeze around him and press kisses to his lips, to his jaw while you give him a shaky, uncoordinated release. He shudders and moans but manages to stay quiet enough, everyone else is probably already awake and listening to you go at it anyway. 

He comes with a weak cry against your skin, painting taught abs and hips in milky white. He just lies there still and you feel awful looking at it. You duck your head down and lick him clean, because there's nothing else you can do. He tastes salty and bitter and like Ebony, a taste you got used to long ago anyway. He moans louder when you do that then he did through his release like he can't control himself. If anyone in the room was still asleep, well they definitely weren't after that. His voice and moans once he gets worked up are deep enough to permeate through any silence.   
Once he is clean and he's managed to calm himself down enough he pulls you to his chest. Cramming both of you side by side into the tiny bed. It shakes underneath you because you're both still breathing far too heavily. 

Somehow you manage to fall back to sleep against him. 

 

When you awake in the same bed no one bats an eyelid, but you can see Gladio death staring at you whenever he thinks you aren't looking. Noctis acts totally normal and like he actually had a decent sleep, you assume he just slept through everything. Prompto has a deep blush staining all the way down to his chest when he greets you in the morning, it's adorable but you're not happy about it.   
You're left to face their stares alone as Ignis takes the first shower; no one is going to question the fact that he deserves all the hot water and the most comfort. 

It's later, time is a blur now anyway that the dreaded message comes over the cracking loudspeaker. First in a guttural language that you can't understand and then in one you can. 

"We will soon be arriving at Cartanica station for a 5 day refuelling stop. Please gather all belongings and prepare to disembark the train. We thank you for your patronage" and then more formalities you didn't care about. 

All of your thoughts came together at once. 

Fucking perfect. Five days to traverse an unknown mine in a god damn swamp looking for a weapon that might not even be there. Following a depressed and dead to the world prince, or he's king now isn't he? And having to put up with a bodyguard that needed to be punched in the face. You'd do it yourself but you figured it would hurt you more than it would him; you couldn't risk breaking your wrist anyway. You were pretty sure that Ignis was probably going to die in this dungeon because you could see your patience wearing thin already. You knew you wouldn't be able to deal with it for too long. You knew Prompto would probably step up, pick him up when he fell down and look out for him because you didn't think you had it in you. 

You were the most useless out of all of them, that was undeniable. So useless you couldn't even walk straight on flat ground, not with the pain between your legs. How were you supposed to navigate a swamp? Supplies would be at a premium, no one would want to waste a potion on you, not when it could mean the difference between life and death later on. No one cares enough about you to want to stop the bleeding between your legs anyway. You hoped you didn't bleed too much while you were fighting; you were worried about the strength of the daemons. Didn't blood attract them?

And a tent, sleeping crammed in a tent again, a flimsy thing that Ignis could conceivably light on fire if he has a bad enough night episode. It was even more likely if he couldn't indulge in his coping mechanism. In finding a release for all of his pent up anger inside of you. But weren’t you just as bad now?

Maybe the two of you together would drown the other occupants of the tent in blood. Maybe even in a haven the daemons wouldn't be able to resist your misery. You might be the first idiots ever to be killed at daemons while at a haven. Excellent. 

You didn't know how the fuck you were going to survive this. 

 

The station was bare, there was nothing around it, and you could tell that it was deserted apart from when there was a train. It looked more like a sand covered desert than the mangrove swamp it was supposed to be. The station was old and unkept. The stairs creaked, the ground creaked and it was cracked and uneven. 

You were setting off first thing tomorrow morning, down into the mine that might be your undoing. There weren't really any preparations to be made; it was just all of you, sitting around seperately and apart. Not talking, not looking at each other because you all knew there was nothing to say.   
You walked over to the bench where Ignis had been guided to; he just sat there in silence listening to the wind. You sat down next to him and leant your head against his chest; he knew it was you so you didn't announce yourself. 

He looked at you, well almost at you through glasses tinted so dark you could hardly make out what was underneath them. He tilted his head and asked you if you could see anywhere more private.  
You rolled your eyes but got him up and led him over to what looked like an abandoned shack in the corner, far enough from everyone else. 

You pulled on his hair hard when you were away from prying eyes and crashed his lips to yours. That was it then.

Your back was pressed against the dull wall, the bricks were hot, they had been baking in the sun for six knows how long and you could feel the heat of them through your clothes. You could feel powder from them rubbing off on your clothes, you didn't care. 

His lips were insistent, crushing against yours with teeth against your lips and tongue. He was bent over slightly and rutting his hips against your core, you could feel the heat of him, the hardness of him through your clothes. He was messing with you, moving at just the right angle against you to rile you up. There was a hand on the side of your head, tugging at your hair and forcing you into whatever position he wanted. The other was on your ass, pushing and pulling you against him. Your hands were trapped between his chest and your own; you couldn’t get the leverage to do anything. 

 

The hand on your ass moved to your thigh and started tugging on it, tilting your hips up and pressing your core directly against him. You could feel his cock pulsing through his pants which were stretched, almost straining across his crotch. He was moaning against your ear and the change in angle allowed you to move your hands. You were fairly deft at undoing buttons, you had a lot of practice after all and you got his shirt hanging off his shoulders quickly. You moved your head down and bit hard on his collarbone as you dug the nails of your left hand into his bare waist; you poised your right hand and ran your nails hard down his chest. 

You left a trail of angry, raised red marks across his skin. You could feel him gritting his teeth but he made no move to stop you. You ran nails across his chest, across his shoulders following his collarbone down to the hollow of his throat. You felt muscles flex underneath your hands as you moved lower, scratched marks over ribs that definitely didn’t used to be there. You could feel him, breathing hard, struggling to get in air, his chest rising and falling hard causing your nails to dig in and out of the skin on his waist. He was much skinnier now, still defined but with less muscle and more bone, you hadn’t really looked at him recently and now covered in your scratches you almost couldn’t tell. 

He reacted once you stopped your conquest of his body, reaching down to your thighs and lifting you up. He scraped your clothed back against the bricks as he hooked your legs over his hips. He pushed his lips against yours again as he positioned you against him. He was moaning loudly against your lips as the heat from your core pressed against his erection. Even through the layers of clothing between you, you were lined up.

He kept moaning as he moved a hand and undid his pants and pushed them unceremoniously down to pool on the floor. He wrapped a gloved hand around his aching cock and started stroking it while biting down on your lower lip. He was biting hard and it hurt, he was moaning far too loudly as his hand worked.

You pulled away from him.

“Ignis, you need to be quiet.” You hissed out at him as you bit down on his ear and then licked down the pressure point running down the side of his neck. You felt his hand still from where it was brushing against you, felt him catch his breath and adjust his balance. 

You felt him smirk against your skin and before you could react his hand was between your legs. He forcefully pulled your skirt up and your panties to the side. Without any warning he thrust two still gloved fingers inside of you and you cried out at the intrusion. You were wet and desperate but you thought that was uncalled for, his fingers were long and large and it was too much too soon.

You weren’t sure what came over you, didn’t know where the thought came from or why you acted on it but you had to retaliate. 

You slapped him hard across the face. 

Ignis stopped breathing for a moment as he tilted his head back to face yours. The fingers inside you stilled. You could see thoughts flashing across his closed eyes before he acted. He grabbed both of your hands in his own, you weren’t sure how and wrenched them above your head. He bent your arms back until they ached.

He pressed them hard against the wall, your wrists crossed and bones creaking against the pressure. When he let go you couldn’t move your wrists, you had no idea why not. You struggled but it didn’t do anything, you were restrained through magic. 

You sucked in air through your teeth to try and breathe through the pain, your chest was pressed out due to the angle of your arms as were your hips. Your panties had slipped back in to place but they were the only barrier between you and you could feel his cock pulsing against the fabric.

He shifted again and then those gloved fingers were back inside you.

He moved hard and fast and bit down on your lips to silence your angry cries of his name as you very quickly came around the leather. 

He moved his gloved hand down, used your left over essence to slick up his cock before lining himself up. 

You were so so sensitive and he thrust in without mercy. He took you hard and fast and you cried out against him as your body went boneless against him. Pain racing through your shoulders as your wrists stayed bound above your head. 

“Be quiet my love.” Ignis got out with a smirk, each word punctuated by a deep thrust inside of you. “You’re being too loud.”

Echoing your own words back to you, who did he think he was?

“Why don’t you make me shut up Scientia?” You spat back at him, clenching down on his cock as hard as you could to make your point. 

He stopped thrusting.

You watched as thoughts played through his mind. You groaned in pain as his still cock pulsed inside of you and your wrists cramped up.   
He made up his mind and reached out. He wrapped a slick, gloved hand around your neck. He was gentle but there was enough pressure so that you could feel he was being serious. You hadn’t done anything like this before but you weren’t opposed. Why not fuck yourself up even more? You willed yourself to relax against him.

He tightened his hand around your throat gently, cutting off your flow of air as you inhaled, you could still breathe but it was difficult. 

He pulled back and looked at your face, or close enough to your face. He was waiting for you to safeword, giving you the chance to anyway.

You kept silent.

You leant forward and crashed your lips back against his. His hand tightened on impulse like he couldn’t help it and you moaned out as your air was cut off. You were sure he could feel the vibration of it through your neck and through his glove. You could feel the pressure of the leather, the wetness of it, hear it creaking and shifting as you shuddered against him. You could feel his cock jumping inside you at the sensation. His hand moved and suddenly you could move your wrists again. You cried out in relief as the agony subsisded. 

You reached down and pulled hard on his hair, yanking his head back. He struggled to keep his grip on your throat.

You moved your lips to his ear as he gasped heavily against you.

“Choke me Ignis. Fuck me. I bet you don’t have the guts.” You spat words that you didn’t even believe came from your lips at him. 

He gave a full bodied shudder against you and took in a deep breath. 

“I wish I could see you right now.” His words were quiet and you could hardly focus on them as he began pounding into you again. 

 

It was hard and rough. You could breathe and then you couldn’t. He kept cutting off your moans mid cry, cutting off your inhales and stopping your exhales. Your back was scraping up against the wall behind you, you didn’t care. Between your legs burned from the rough pace and your body was crying out from a lack of oxygen, you also didn’t care. 

Ignis didn’t last very long.

He pressed down your windpipe as his hips stuttered and he came and didn’t let up until he was finished. Your body went into a panic once you couldn’t breathe, writhing against him. It took him a while to realise what was happened and then he dropped you to the floor as his legs gave out and he fell to his knees. 

You were a mess, a puddle on the floor. You pulled yourself together as best as you could, release dripping down your thighs. Ignis had a huge stain from your wetness on the front of his pants once he pulled them back on, you decided not to tell him. 

You led him back to the train where you cleaned up in silence. 

You spent the rest of the day in silence. Just off on your own in the corner.

To the mines tomorrow. You didn’t know if you would come back alive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So hate sex was fun to write but also a bit concerning.  
> What did you think? I love hearing about how much you're all hurting. Was my hate sex believable? Because I'm not really sure that it was.
> 
> Off to the Mines next time. Six help us all.


	8. Inevitable

The sun was out and it was stifling, it felt like it was closer to the surface on this continent than it was anywhere else. The air was dry and the heat was beating down on you like nothing was wrong. The whole thing was not improved by the dark clothes you were wearing; your scarf that was now almost a permanent part of you, an extension of your being, long sleeves with a high neckline, jeans and combat boots and you could tell that your clothing choice was a mistake. It felt weird to be dressed like this again, but you knew it was important to be protected, and also to hide your bare skin from the others. It was difficult to walk naturally as well as you were weighed down by the katana strapped to your back and the dagger holstered on one thigh and the handgun on the other. You couldn’t access the armiger and felt absolutely ridiculous being weighed down by all this kit while the others didn’t need to carry any, but you had refused Noctis all those months ago when he had offered. You had training but were pretty much useless with all of the weapons, they were just there for you to protect yourself if it came down to it.

You all met up outside the elevator, you had guided Ignis there this morning and now it was just the four of you standing around waiting for Noctis to arrive. You could see the tiredness in him by his walk as you watched him approach you with his shoulders hunched over. He walked straight up to Ignis, not making eye contact with the rest of you and put a shaky hand onto Ignis’ shoulder.

“Ready to set out?” Came Ignis’ voice, he was trying to sound brave but you could hear his voice cracking at the end. Noctis whispered something close to him that you couldn’t hear. 

“I’ll manage somehow.” His response was quiet but you could still hear it.

The whole lot of you were fucked. 

The elevator was slow and it creaked with every movement, it sounded like the floor might fall away at any moment. It was sort of cramped with the five of you inside it and it felt like you had been in there for an eternity, you had to go quite a way down to reach the start of the mine. 

Gladio was flexing and stretching in the small space, warming himself up. Prompto was fidgeting from side to side, obviously uncomfortable but trying to psyche himself up. Noctis was leant against the back wall of the elevator with his head down and eyes closed. Ignis was perfectly still, not moving at all with his hand gripping the railing in a white knuckled grip.

The door opened.

In front of you was a wide dirt path, curving downwards, something that would once have been a ramp but was now unkempt, winding and twisting down into the unknown. The floor was so uneven, rocks everywhere and suddenly you felt nauseous with worry.

You chanced a look around you but everyone else had their gaze straight ahead, taking in the surrounds with anxious expressions. Noctis took the first step forward and then the decision was made. 

You started your descent into hell. 

You were barely 10 steps in before Prompto was babbling away, the poor boy was so nervous it would have been endearing to watch at any other time. 

“Feeling a little out of my element” Prompto’s voice was shaky but confident enough. He had a forced smile on his face and you just stared at him. How on Eos was that an appropriate thing to say? 

“We’re a foreign species in this environment. Mind we don’t end up prey.” Ignis’ voice was dry, you could imagine that sentence with just a tiny bit of his normal lilt but there was nothing there anymore.

“Right, good tip.” Noctis called behind him, as he charged ahead into the depths. 

The path narrowed down and grew steeper. Prompto the darling boy had slowed down and was hovering around Ignis, ready to help him if he stumbled. You watched Gladio in front of you kick his boot into the ground and then turn back towards you, his face was expressionless to say the least. 

“Footing’s bad, watch your step.” Wasn’t he just fucking wonderful at picking his words.

You could see Ignis struggling, legs unsteady against the uneven, tilted ground. “As best as I can.”

“Go at your own pace, we’ll wait.” Gladio spoke as if Noctis wasn’t trying charging off ahead.

The path continued.

You lingered in front of Ignis and Prompto because you didn’t want to watch them, you didn’t think you were strong enough. You didn’t want to watch Ignis stumble but you kept turning back far too often to check on them.

The further you went the worse your anxiety got. Your heart was hammering in your chest and you were struggling to put one foot in front of the other.

Then it happened.

Ignis fell.

You saw it happen in slow motion. You watched as he stuck a hand out to break his fall. You watched as his knees fell against the ground and his torso curled inwards. You watched as he hit the ground with his fist in frustration before he got slowly got back to his feet with Prompto’s help. 

You couldn’t keep it together. You turned away from all of them and just walked towards the closest wall and sat down on the side of the path, leaning against the barely there railing and tried not to cry. 

Gladio was screaming at Noctis. “Is it too much to ask the royal procession to stick together?” Obviously it was. You watched Noctis walk forward and stab the ground in frustration with his blade and then reply.

“Too much to ask you to shut it?”

No one turned an eye towards you and you were glad for that, the more focused they were on their own bullshit the better. 

You pressed on.

It happened again.

You watched it happen again but this time you were close enough. You helped Ignis up, brushed the dirt off his jacket and held him steady while he composed himself. You managed not to cry as you leant in and gave him a kiss on the cheek. It wasn’t enough. 

The third, fourth, fifth time you just walked ahead because you couldn’t handle it anymore. There was no point in continuing to keep count.   
It was routine now, Ignis falling, Prompto helping him back up and Noctis and Gladio yelling at each other. You stayed silent and minded your own business. 

Eventually the downwards slope evened out and the path opened up. It probably hadn’t taken more than half an hour of walking but it felt like so much more. In front of you was a large clearing with a murky swamp in the centre, swarming with sahagins and similar monsters. The water looked deep enough to cause discomfort wading through it; your boots probably weren’t going to keep your socks dry. 

Ignis chose that time to hit the ground hard. Prompto cried out in alarm and all of the damn monsters turned towards you. You felt the air tingle and saw the flash of blue that was Noctis warping towards them. You turned back and saw Prompto talking softly to Ignis, you couldn’t hear their words. You turned back and saw one of those disgusting things crawling towards you with its huge jaws open. 

With a surprising lack of shakiness you pulled the katana from your back and jumped into the fray.

You still couldn’t get over the feeling as your blade sliced through living tissue, the sharpness of it and the sound that it made. You had only really used training swords in Insomnia and the extra strength that it took to move your blade in an arc was always jarring. The sick sound of flesh tearing was just a bonus. 

There was a cry from nearby and you whipped your head around. It was Prompto, standing in front of Ignis shooting one of the monsters in the face as it stalked towards them. You pulled your own gun from your hip and started firing at its tail, you needed to get it away and you couldn’t risk shooting in the face because it was too close to the Prompto; you weren’t really a good shot. Your gun did the job though and the snapping jaws quickly lost interest in Prompto and started coming towards you. 

You sliced it through the centre in a single blow that sent blood spraying everywhere. You were covered in it and you didn’t care at all. 

Looking around you realised that there we no more monsters left to fight, just corpses. Your first thought was Ignis.

You turned and started walking towards him, he was learning on Prompto hard and shaking. That was his first fight in his current state you realised and you thought he was far more put together than he should have been. 

You stepped close to him and said his name so he knew you were there. You pulled him against your body and squeezed him tight in your arms. His whole body was shaking and seizing up against you. His head found your neck and you could feel him crying quietly while he shuddered against you. You didn’t have anything to say so you said nothing.

You stayed like that for a while but eventually you had to go and you pull away from his with a quick press of your lips to his. 

You turn back to see Noctis returning empty handed from the strange shed and control panel tucked in the corner of the swamp. His boots are squelching in the thick water and mud and he looks absolutely exhausted with dirt smeared across his face. Everyone was in the same boat. 

There was nothing to do but keep moving.

It seemed to take ages to make any progress. You felt you had been walking for so long and yet you could still see the swamp. It was fine that Ignis was slower but it was hard to keep pace when he kept tripped. It got more and more frequent as he lost his composure. You could see Prompto was at his wits end being left to deal with him and it made you feel terrible, guilt assaulting you but no one else could do it. Gladio needed to stay by Noctis’ side even if he tried to pretend he wasn’t. 

Gladio and Noctis were stopped in front of you and you walked up behind them. You can see, well you’re not sure what it is; some kind of huge machinery on wheels, mining equipment maybe? Whatever it is, it’s impassable.

“Nothing but a giant roadblock.” Comes a deep voice proclaiming the most useful thing Gladio has said all day. 

Prompto and Ignis catch up and come up behind you. You were sort of surprised at how close they were, you thought they were further behind, especially considering how slippery the floor was here.

“Ironic for a vehicle” replies Prompto, he sounds exhausted.

You take the chance to move over to where Ignis is standing, you move so your bodies are touching and take one of his hands in yours but you don’t turn to look at his face, it’s not like he would know either way. He looks absolutely dreadful, hair and clothes a mess, streaks of dirt covering every inch of him and there’s a crack in his tinted glasses. He’s wet as well and shivering slightly, maybe he’s cold you think, but you also know better. 

Ignis squeezes your hand. “If we get its motor running perhaps we can move it out of the way.”

Noctis laughs, a genuine laugh for the first time today. “Not a bad idea Ignis.” 

“Something like that is probably on mains power, there should be a panel we can use.” Prompto sounds so happy that everyone is talking normally again.

“What about that one was back at the swamp?” Comes your voice, you weren’t sure when you made the decision to speak or when your vocal chords starting moving but it happened. Your voice was rough, it sounded exhausted and foreign to your ears. Everyone, even Ignis turned to look at you; maybe they had forgotten you were there, it seemed likely. 

It was Noctis managed to get over his surprise to speak first “Guess we need to backtrack.” He didn’t give it a second before he was walking past you and back down into hell.

Backtracking was the worst fucking thing that could happen, poor Ignis. You turn to Prompto and give him a small smile as Gladio pushed past you. You nod at him, trying to tell him that you’ll take over from him looking after Ignis this time. You think you’ll be able to manage. 

You turn back towards Ignis and pull your arm around his waist and guide him to turn around. 

Ignis fell down a few times, taking you down with him. He’s heavy and you’re not that strong. You just sit on the floor when it happens, catching your breath and your thoughts, it’s getting easier at least. You don’t talk at all, Ignis is so focused on taking each step and you have nothing to say anyway. 

There’s shouting and you see Prompto running towards you, he stops just before you, leaning down and breathing heavily. 

“The power is out; we need to turn on the backup generators.”

“Which means more running around.” Your voices betrays you again, you sound exasperated and exhausted. Ignis squeezes your hand like it will help, it doesn’t.

“Gladio thinks that main power is just up ahead and there’s a haven there anyway. We’re going call it a day.”

You smile at Prompto before taking your hand from Ignis’ and leading him over by the waist to Prompto. You look hopefully at him and Prompto puts a hand on Ignis’ shoulder. You feel awful treating Ignis like some animal, being passed off between you but you don’t really have a choice. You say nothing as you walk away, back down towards the pond. You manage a few steps, enough so that neither of them will be able to see your face before the tears start falling. 

By the time you reach the campsite it’s already mostly set up. Gladio is banging pegs into the ground while Noctis sets up chairs. Neither of them are talking and neither of them look up when you approach. You move over and start setting up the stove, not that it’s going to get used for anything other than boiling water. It’s not like you had any ingredients to make anything good anyway. 

Ignis and Prompto appeared just as the set up was finishing. Prompto guided Ignis to a camp chair and then he flittered around to see if there was anything else to do. Noctis fell down into a chair exhausted. Gladio walked over and took a seat opposite Noctis and next to Ignis. Gladio looked fucked; hair matted and flat against his head, body covered in dirt and grime his skin covered in dark patches and tank stuck to tight to his muscular frame with sweat and muddy water.   
He put his hands together, ran them through his matted hair pushing it back from his face, he looked straight at Noctis and then Ignis before making this face and shaking his head, pushing himself off the chair violently and sending it skidding back. He walks around and sits down on the cooler box behind Ignis’ chair, you realise that he doesn’t have a direct line of sight with Noctis this way. 

Gladio fixes his own dinner, no surprises as to what and eats it on the cooler box, away from all of you. You manage to get the stove on and cook some beans on toast, more because it’s all you have within easy reach. Prompto was just going to eat cold beans for food for the poor dear, they were all so useless without Ignis. Once Gladio has finished eating he gets up turns and walks off, storms off the camp without saying a word. You assume he’ll sleep outside tonight and while it’s reckless, he’s smart enough to not put himself at risk. 

The rest of you just watch him leave, he makes enough noise but no one tells Ignis that he’s walking off. He just sits there looking off into nothing, it physically hurts as your chest constricts with emotion.

The silence at the camp is deafening now that dinner is done. It’s Prompto again that breaks the silence. 

“I took more photos today. You wanna see?”

“Not really Prom” comes Noctis’ sullen voice.

“Yeah of course” The disappointment in Prompto’s voice was difficult for you to ignore.

“I’d like to see them Prom.” You smile at him and the way his face lights up almost makes up for the dread you are feeling about seeing them. You stand up and walk over to him. He moves over in his camp chair and you sit yourself in beside him as he holds the camera in front of you. 

It was mostly scenery shots, it’s not like you were in the mood to pose for selfies. There was one of you, kissing Ignis on the cheek. You said nothing but gave Prompto a very close up death glare, a faint blush rose up on his cheeks but he said nothing. You weren’t angry no, just upset that Ignis’ hopeless expression was now forever immortalised.

With Prompto’s shoulder pressed against yours you could almost forget about the way Noctis was death staring at the two of you and how Ignis sat perfectly still. 

Gladio hadn’t returned from his walk when Noctis stood up and proclaimed that he was going to bed. He turned and stared at Prompto until he stood up as well. The two of them walked towards the tent entrance. You could hear the concern in Prompto’s voice.

“You know what they’re going to do out here right?”  
“Not my problem.” Noctis voice was quiet and no nonsense as he crouched down to crawl into the tent. Prompto turned back to look at you, and then Ignis and then his eyes were back on yours. He looked like he wanted to say something but he didn’t. He let out a soft goodnight before stepping into the tent and zipping it up. 

You got up off Prompto’s chair and made your way over to Ignis. You put a hand on his shoulder. 

“How are you holding up?” your voice didn’t crack.

His head moved down, looking at the floor like speaking was difficult.   
“It’s ok, we don’t need to talk about it.” You said and you regretted it almost instantly because of the insinuation in the comment, it’s not like you were going to deny it. He turned his head and looked at you, eyes shut but his expression was dejected, pleading, upset. 

“I think you did a really good job today considering everything.”

“Don’t mock me.”

“Fine” and you put your hands on his broad shoulders and pull him up so he’s standing. You stepped against him, pressing your body against his. You place your hand under his chin, running your fingers along his angular jawline and down his neck. You pull him down for a rough kiss that lasts for far too long, teeth clashing. He’s breathing hard when you pull away from him.

You don’t want to sound malicious but you can’t help it.

“All of us fell in the dirt today you know.” You take a deep breath. “I need this too.”

You move your hand down his front, trailing it across his dirty shirt and down his torso. You move it past his belt and cup your hand against his crotch. He moans loudly and the sound goes straight to your core, he’s already hard. 

You move your hand to his hip and lead him away from the tent, to a corner of the haven the furthest away from the tent so at least they can see you’re making an attempt to be courteous. 

Once you’re far enough away you push Ignis down to his knees and he goes willingly. You position yourself across him, straddling his thighs and wrapping your arm around his back for support. You crash your lips together once again and grind your core down against his arousal. His hands are all over you pushing and pulling at your shirt so he can reach your skin. A hand finds its way between your legs and you know he is going to be rough tonight. 

It doesn’t take long before he is pushing you back with too much strength so you’re flat on your back. Your shirt if all over the place and you can feel the jagged rocks of the haven digging into and scratching your skin, it just adds to the sensation. 

His hands are grasping at your hips as he struggles to remove your jeans. They were tight to start with and with all the dirt and water from the day they’re stiff and stuck to your legs, clinging to you like a second skin. You bat his hands away and pull them off yourself, you watch him reach down and undo his own pants, his come off much easier. 

You sit up and reach out for him, putting your hands on his bare hips, watching his erection pulse against his pale, marked skin as he breathes hard. 

You pull him back on top of you and can’t help but moan as his erection presses against your core. He grinds against you, teasing you, feeling you writhe underneath him before he acts. His hands move to your thighs and then he’s lifting you up, bending you nearly in half you struggle to adjust your position, scraping your skin against the rocks. He digs nails into your thighs and you throw your head back and moan, or you tried to but you had to do a double take.

You could see Gladio, curled up in his sleeping bag just a few metres away from you, facing away from you. You felt like you should say something, you really should be nice to Gladio and it’s not like Ignis would see him. But before you could say anything Ignis pressed down on you and your knees were pressed against your shoulders with your legs hooked over his shoulders. In the back of your mind you were surprised you were still flexible enough for this, there was strain but it was mostly comfortable as you felt Ignis settle his hips between your thighs. You turned back to look at Gladio, he hadn’t moved at all. 

Ignis’ cock was at your entrance now and he held himself there for a moment, waiting for you to say no you guessed.

You kept quiet. 

He was rough and pushed deep inside of you with one rough, hard thrust. You struggled not to cry out.

He was far too deep inside you in this position and it was intense with your clit rubbing against his hips as he held you steady. He was breathing hard and moaning into the air above your face, you could see him shaking with the effort of holding himself together. 

He was rough and your body was scraping against the ground as you were jerked around with each thrust, it felt good. 

You tried to be as quiet as possible, mostly for Gladio’s sake. Ignis hadn’t seemed to notice your lack of noise; he wasn’t focused on you no he just too focused on his own pleasure. He knew you far too well and knew that you having an orgasm in this position was inevitable, it’s not like you hadn’t done it enough times before. 

Ignis came loudly and suddenly, crying out for the world to hear. He kept moving quickly against you until you fell apart. You cried out his name to the wind and instantly regretted it.

Your muscles screamed as he lowered your legs back down and fell on top of you, his head on your chest while he struggled to catch his breath.

You turned to look at Gladio, he had his hands over his ears. Well that answered that question. 

You struggled to put your dirty clothes back on and guided Ignis to the tent once you calmed down.

You entered the tent to find Prompto, pretending to be asleep with a pillow over his head and Noctis passed out beside him. You felt terrible, but those thoughts were quickly pushed to the side as you struggled to help Ignis get through the tent flap and not step on the other two occupants as you got him to his bed.  
You managed to get him sitting on the flat mat and watched him undress himself before you helped him into his sleeping bag.  
The last thing he did was take off those glasses and you made sure they were put somewhere secure and out of reach. Once he was settled you pulled yourself into your own sleeping bag, not bothering to undress; it was too much effort to peel off your dirty clothes and also made it easier if you had to get up in the night or once the sun rose. You weren’t worried about your nudity around these boys but also, you didn’t want to subject them to anything either.

You curled up in your sleeping bag, almost glad that you weren’t exactly sharing a bed with Ignis but you were close enough to react if something went wrong. You were worried he would wake up screaming because you only knew once way to calm him down and you didn’t think that would be appreciated while the others were in the tent. 

You were exhausted from the day, covered in mud and grime and dirt, you were fatigued down to your bones. You didn’t think you would sleep but obviously you did because it seemed like seconds later that the silence of the night was pierced by screaming.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I sort of lost the plot for this chapter oh well.  
> Next chapter we start the climax (heh) of this story, tensions are gonna be high and it's gonna come to blows.  
> Look forward to it because I am :D
> 
> Thanks for reading.  
> Comments and Kudos loved.
> 
> ~Rev


	9. Inescapable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> On the back of ep Prompto may I present this chapter. This goes from 0-100 really quickly and just stays up there the whole time. Enjoy

The screaming was like nothing you had heard before. It was physical anguish, coupled with cries and sobs; it made your heart ache and your chest clench even before you were awake enough to register it. Your body was jumping into action before you could even realise what was going on. 

It seemed like you were up and on Ignis’ lap before you had even opened your eyes. Flying out of your sleeping bag and calling Ignis’ name over and over as his screams shook the walls of the tent. Your hands were against his cheek and pushing sweaty hair out of his face as you pressed your hips down against his over and over until he started to calm down. It was only once his screaming had turned to silent sobs that you were able to hear Noctis calling out your name over and over that you remembered where you were; what was happening; and that the two of you definitely weren’t alone.

Ignis was out of it in body and mind, he was still caught in his nightmare; He was unaware of anything happening around him apart from your body. His warm and sweaty hands came around your waist and pulled you hard against him, angling your hips just so and grinding you down against the hardness in his lap. He fisted a hand tight into your hair and pulled your forward to capture you in a bruising kiss that shook you to your core. 

The kiss went on with teeth cracking together until his hands were against your jeans and he was fumbling with the button on them. He was gripping you too tight for you to turn your head but you knew that Noctis and Prompto were probably just staring at the two of you. 

It appeared that Noctis eventually had enough because he called Ignis’ name, loud enough that it caused Ignis to pull away from you and turn his head towards the disdainful sound preventing him from getting what wanted. 

You watched his face, his closed eyes showing a range of emotions; embarrassment, disgust, hatred, lust before he settled on one, determination.

Ignis’ voice was loud and rough; from lack of sleep or hoarseness form screaming or lust you weren’t sure but it was terrifying either way. 

“Get out!”

Then he turned back towards you, not paying the others any mind as his lips curled in a smirk that was as evil as it was sexy. A sudden hand in your hair yanked hard and you cried out, at that exact moment you were pushed backwards hard and you fell onto your back; falling the wrong on the small mattress with a loud thud that stole the air from your lungs. There were legs positioning themselves either side of your hips as a hand came down hard on your shoulder. 

Ignis turned back to the others in the tent as his hand tightened against your skin. 

“Or stay for the show. I don’t care.”

His grip tightened into your skin and it burnt like fire, you were lifted up by the shoulder and smashed back down against the ground; you cried out and locked your eyes on his closed lids, he was so incredibly worked up.

You didn’t see it coming but suddenly there were hands on Ignis’ shoulder and he was being yanked back hard against the tent wall; it was Noctis and his eyes were glowing red.

He was right up in Ignis’ personal space, the glow of his eyes reflecting against pale skin as Noctis put his body between yours and Ignis’.

“What the fuck Ignis?” his voice was dark with anger and he towered over the normally much taller male who was just looking up as best as he could at Noctis with an expressionless face. 

“Get off her. She doesn’t want you, what are you even doing?” Noctis’ voice was loud and the energy coming off him was absolutely mind blowing, it was so much more powerful than what you were used to from Ignis and it was scary. Ignis seemed to be unfazed by all of the energy swirling around him just silently stood his ground. 

You scrambled yourself up into a sitting position and looked quickly around the tent. You could see Prompto close to tears on the other side of the tent but you moved closer to Noctis. 

“Noctis, it’s fine just leave us be.” Your voice was unsteady and you noticed that your whole body was shaking, how long had that been going on?

Noctis snapped back at you and the tone of his voice took you aback. “This isn’t fine, not at all. This is so fucked up.” And then he turned back to Ignis and pushed two hands hard onto his chest, gripping on to his sleeping shirt and pulling him up straight and so he was looking straight into his closed eyes. 

“How many times have you done this Ignis?” The magic was whipping up around you; Ignis still stayed silent and unmoving in front of his liege.  
“How many times have you had her cowering in fear underneath you while you took advantage of her, did you even know she didn’t want it?” Noctis voice was so loud, he was practically yelling in Ignis’ ear but he wasn’t loud enough to drown out the whimpering coming from Prompto across the tent. 

“Do you like it when she cries Ignis? Can you even tell the difference between pleasure and pain?” Ignis face was expressionless and he didn’t react at all. 

“Do you enjoy it when she begs for you to stop?” Noctis’ voice was so full of rage it made you want to cower away from him but you steeled yourself with a few deep breaths.

“Noctis! What the fuck. How dare you.” Your voice was so shaky but you got the words out anyway. 

Glowing red eyes slowly focused on you as Noctis turned his head. “I’m not talking to you.” He basically spat the words at you before his focus went straight back to Ignis. 

You could see Noctis’ aura now, dark purple whipping around him, it felt like there was a storm brewing in the tent and all of the hair on your body was standing straight up.

“Does it make you feel good using someone like that? Are you even going to speak and stand up for yourself?” Noctis didn’t give Ignis a chance to reply, not that he was going to anyway.

“How many times have you done it Ignis? How many times have you raped her?”

Something inside you snapped and you screamed and lunged toward Noctis. How fucking dare he. You were shaking with rage. How dare he talk to Ignis like that?

“Not fucking once Noctis” you yelled out as you moved to pull him away from Ignis. You threw out your arm and braced your shoulder to push him sideways and away from Ignis who was starting to shake. 

The second you touched Noctis there was a giant cracking sound and your vision was drowned out in white as you were thrown backwards. You hit the side of the tent hard and bounced off it. Your body was shaking, spasming, your ears were ringing and eyes unfocused; luckily you didn’t need your sight to know where Noctis was and while screaming again you threw yourself back across the tent, shaking with power, and adrenaline and fear and slammed your full weight against him. 

Noctis went down.

Ignis just sat there silent and Prompto stared on as you and Noctis almost came to blows in the tent. You had him pinned to the ground, legs over his hips and digging into his skin. His eyes were red and he was breathing heavily, chest heaving as his face flickered through so many different emotions. You could see patches of what looked like burns snaking their way across his bare torso as he struggled against you. You raised a fist, not so much that you intended to hit him but more as a warning.

Prompto screaming out made the both of you jerk towards.

“This has to stop now!” 

Everything crashed down around you.

There were tears falling down your face as you got off Noctis. You didn’t look at anyone, you didn’t want to make eye contact with anyone as you turned towards the tent entrance and struggled with the flap. 

You stepped out of the tent, ready to just walk away when you immediately collided with a gigantic breathing wall. Massive arms grabbed your shoulders and pulled you closer to the warm body in front of you. 

“You’re not going anywhere on your own.”

You struggled to push against the man in front of you but he wouldn’t budge, you were pinned. Your voice was almost a growl, “Fuck off Gladiolus.” But you were stuck, when Gladio decided that you weren’t moving; you weren’t moving. 

You stop struggling when you hear the muffled sound of Prompto calling your name as he struggles with the tent flap. 

“Hey Gladio.” He says sheepishly when he sees that you’re safe. You don’t turn to look at him but you can feel Gladio turn to face him, it seems like they have a silent conversation before you can feel Prompto’s hand on your arm.

“Why don’t you come with me and we can have a talk.” His voice is strong and you are so impressed with how brave he is being. 

You nod against Gladio’s broad chest and take Prompto’s hand, Gladio lets you go, you’re sure he needs to go and do some damage control in the tent, you can still hear Noctis screaming.

Prompto leads you to the edge of the haven, your body is shaking and you’re struggling to breathe but his presence is comforting at least.   
He stops and pulls you to his chest, you notice that he has thrown a shirt on, it’s inside out and backwards but at least he tried. 

Your body is shaking but the tears have stopped now. He presses a cheek to your hair.

“I didn’t know it was that bad.”

“It’s not.” You choke out through sobs but you manage to keep yourself together. 

Prompto sighs but says nothing as he waits for you to calm down.   
You don’t speak again until Gladio comes back towards you and tells you to go back to bed.

Prompto gives you a squeeze but lets you go, while he sort of grabs Gladio and the two of them have a talk.

The tent is quiet but you know no one is asleep.

You struggle your way through the entrance and crawl inside finding Noctis and Ignis curled up pretending to be asleep. You decide not to bother with pretences because you don’t really care what went on in the tent between them when you weren’t there; you just take a deep breath and then begin the process of wedging yourself into Ignis’ sleeping bag next to him. He helps you get settled next to him and eventually you both manage to get comfortable in a very tight spoon with his arms wrapped around your waist. 

The tent is silent, it’s not like you were expecting there to be noise but the silence is unnerving. You sit there with your eyes open and wait for Prompto to enter the tent, you assume Gladio will keep sleeping outside because there isn’t a spot set up for him though you expect Prompto to renter but he doesn’t.

You close your eyes and bury yourself back against Ignis because everything has gone to shit and you feel freezing even though the temperature is manageable. His touch was, is so comforting but there is just too much in your head now, everything is just wrong.

You feel empty when you feel him adjusting behind you; when you feel him pressing his face into your hair and pulling your torso and your hips flush against his front. When you feel a hand grope its way down to your hip you let it. You feel like after everything you should put up some resistance but it’s not like it matters anyway. You do gasp though, far too loudly when you feel his cock, barely clothed sliding against your ass, because of course, why would this be any different?

You’re not thinking about the others and the fact that Prompto could enter the tent at any moment, not at all as you press back against him. Everything is for Ignis, whatever he needs because it’s not like you have anything left. 

Ignis is deathly quiet; you can barely hear his breathing and you can’t even hear rustling as his hips slowly rock against you and his cock slips inside the crack of your ass as he gets harder, you can feel him pulsing through the clothes that separate you and well it’s routine now isn’t it?

You should stop him but you don’t.

You reach a shaky hand behind you; it’s ridiculously difficult to move through the snugness of the sleeping back but you manage it somehow. You trail a hand down across his waist and you can feel his body flinch away at the contact; you try not to let it bother you. With steadier hands you move your hand towards his hip, digging your fingers hard to the bone and rocking him against you; giving him assent that he can continue. 

He starts a rhythm, slow but sure and once you’re happy he’s sorted you move your hand back again. You grab a handful of his ass, clothed in just boxers. You dig your nails into his flesh and can’t help but smirk slightly as you hear the breathy, drawn out moan that he struggles to muffle against your ear. 

His hand moves to give you the same treatment but you react in a much more dignified way, there’s more material in the way as well; which then he starts to take care of. He is far too talented at removing clothes and manages to quickly push your jeans down low enough for him to grab handfuls of your ass, pulling and pushing until his whole erection is sliding up and down nestled in your crack. Somehow he’s managed to push his underwear down low enough during this process as well. Maybe he had always been like that. You weren’t sure anymore. 

You reach back to adjust your bodies so at least he can attempt to hit somewhere that will feel good for you too, but he doesn’t seem to be interested in that. He just holds your hips tight in a crushing grip so you’re left just riding along with his ministrations. 

He moves away for a second to pull your shirt up and then without any preamble apart from his teeth sinking down into your shoulder he comes between your bodies.  
You can feel him coating your lower back and you can feel it spread as he rocks you through the aftershocks. You can feel every part of him rubbing against your back as he grips you tight enough in his shaking arms. 

You close your eyes and try to block out the world as you can feel him cleaning you up with something, doesn’t it really matter what it is? You can feel that he has missed parts but it doesn’t matter, not really. You’re not going to move, you don’t want to risk making eye contact with Noctis, who you’re sure just heard everything. 

Ignis pulls you close and tilts his head away from you like he is actually going to try and sleep and you wonder when the fuck your waking nightmare is going to end. 

When your eyes open again it’s light outside.

 

Gladio and Noctis were nowhere to be seen, just Prompto tapping away on his phone watching over you. Ignis is asleep beside you, his arms across your body trapping you in the sleeping bag with him.

Prompto notices you’re awake and you can see his expression drop before he puts on a brave face.

“Noctis and Gladio went to try and turn the power back on, get some more rest.” You nod at him and close your eyes again but then the ground starts shaking.

Ignis sits up bolt upright and you’re pulled along with him, the sleeping bag keeping you pressed together as what feels like a mini earthquake rocks through the tent. 

“I hope that’s the machinery.” You say in a voice cracked with sleep and general tiredness as you peel yourself away from Ignis. You quietly wish him a good morning before getting up.

“What time is it?” Ignis’ voice is composed. 

“It doesn’t matter Ignis, just relax.” You say, stroking the back of his hand before pulling away from him and pushing your way through the tent flap. 

“Be ready to head out when they get back.”

“Right Prompto.”

 

Once the five of you squeeze your way through the tiny gap that turning the power on created, it’s not too much further until you see the tomb, nestled into the side of a massive round swamp. Yuck.

You wade through the knee deep water, struggling with each step. You can see Gladio marching ahead and Noctis slowly walking and trying to keep his balance. Prompto has his arms wrapped around Ignis and is holding onto him for dear life as the both of them struggle through the water towards the tomb entrance.

The entrance is covered in what looks like plant growth but as you step closer you realise with horror that it’s nothing like that.

“What is this?” says Prompto, he doesn’t know but it’s also probably for Ignis’ benefit too.

Gladio scoffs. “I hate eggs.”

“These are disgusting what do you think laid them?” You knew that Ignis would know but before you could work on describing them to him you could hear something behind you.

You turned around and to your absolute horror watched as a Malboro materialised from the depths of the swamp. It was absolutely horrific and totally different from the cute animated character in Insominan cartoons. The stench of it was overpowering you felt like throwing up and its mouth was absolutely gigantic, the whole thing towered so far above you.

Prompto was in an absolute panic. “That looks like a mouth. Is that it’s face?”  
“What, what is it.” Ignis’ voice was cracking; you could feel vibrations through the ground as the disgusting hunk of living plant matter slunk towards you on its slithering tentacle-like appendages.

“Something real bad.” Noctis was already drawing his weapons.

“Malboro” You said under your breath but it was loud enough for everyone to hear. “It’s absolutely gigantic.” You turned to Prompto, “I’ll get Ignis out of here, try and distract it.” You can see Prompto turn to grab Ignis and push him towards you but it’s too late; there are small ones, tiny disgusting little things squirming and swarming around you. You have no idea where they came from but they’re everywhere, attaching themselves to your legs and you can see Prompto struggling to shoot them off as you draw your sword.

The battle is so intense that you forget everything.

All of you are covered head to toe in Malboro blood and guts and gunk and it stinks. It keeps breathing its atrocious breath all over you and it sears at your skin as the smaller ones stab you with their tiny needle covered tentacles. Everything about this is fucking gross. 

It feels like it’s been hours that you have been hacking away at this thing but nothing has changed and for every tiny one you disembowel it seems like three more fall off the giant ones back. 

The five of you manage to regroup in a corner, you just barely manage to outrun all of them.

“This is useless.” His deep voice breaks the silence and you watch the tiny ones fall one by one as Prompto shoots them in the head.

“What are we going to do?” he says while reloading.

Noctis is shaking, his body is drained of almost all his magic. “This might be a good time to panic.”

Ignis speaks up; he looks the best out of all of you. He is absolutely covered in dirt but nowhere near as exhausted as the rest of you. “No, there must be a way.” At that moment a smaller one decided to lunge towards him. You step in front of him and slice the motherfucker to pieces. 

Ignis looks deep in thought as you splash yourself with more Malboro blood.

“Why don’t we try and get further away and regroup.”

“Alright Iggy.” You aren’t sure who says that before the huge Malboro rears its ugly head again and starts spraying out a thick black smog. 

You watch them all turn and start running towards a corner of the swamp. 

You can see them gathered at the far end of the swamp but you can’t get near them, there’s too many small ones swarming around you. There was a tiny one that would not let go of your leg. You kept stabbing it in the head over and over again but it wouldn’t die. Eventually the damn thing exploded in a fountain of ore and ichor that covered you and blurred your vision. 

You started to run over towards them but the huge Malboro started breathing in. 

You were lighter than the boys and not as strong; you were getting pulled in by its breath and you couldn’t escape. Your body was shaking with adrenaline but there was nothing you could do, you started screaming. You couldn’t fight against the wind and you could feel how close to it you were. You didn’t know what was happening but you saw Ignis throwing something in its direction. It sailed over your head and got sucked into its mouth. There were moments where time seemed to stop before the world exploded.

You were too close when Ignis’ spell exploded. The heat seared through you and you fell to your knees screaming in pain.

Your flesh was burning as flames licked at your skin; it seemed that Malboro guts were highly flammable as everything around you went up in flames. You could hear the Malboro screaming in pain but it felt like it was so far away. Noctis’ magic usually wasn’t painful, uncomfortable yes but never like this.

You could feel your skin blistering and peeling, you could feel your clothes melting off your body. The heat was unbearable and sinking lower into the filthy water didn’t seem to make any difference. 

You had no idea how much time passed but eventually the flames around you died out. 

You struggled to your feet. Your entire body was screaming in pain and you noticed that your vision was too blurry for you to make out anything. You started coughing and didn’t seem to be able to stop, It felt like you were falling apart. 

You couldn’t see in front of you but you could see your body. It wasn’t pretty.

Your clothes were gone, your shirt was in pieces in the water in front of you, small bits of it were still stuck to your arms. Your jeans were burnt off at the bottom and the back, clinging to you from their wetness at the front but not attached to anything. Your scarf was gone, flung off into water as it had sizzled around your neck. 

Your skin was red and blistered but Noctis’ magic hadn’t hurt you too badly. Your skin was worse on the back of your arms and you could assume your back too, the parts of you that had taken the brunt of the blast. The skin was bubbling and peeling and realised that all it did was make every single mark, every scratch, bite, hickey look even more prominent. You could see clumps of your hair falling around you; some of it was stuck in the blisters on your skin. 

Your vision started to clear and you snapped your head up and looked around for the boys. They were standing there, staring at you in absolute horror. 

You tried to move your throat and make your voice work but it didn’t, too much smoke inhalation from the blast. 

“Elixir!” You tried to say but your throat just crackled and bubbled around the words. It seemed that you reacting caused them to jump into action. 

Prompto was struggling out of his jacket as he ran towards you; you hadn’t even realised that of course you were basically naked if your clothes were in pieces in front of you. There was too much pain for you to care. 

Noctis was next to you somehow, summoning curative after curative and forcing them down your throat. 

The bitter liquid was disgusting, somehow they went from half decent energy drinks to being disgusting once they were infused with magic. You could feel your skin mending, feel the sensitivity falling away but it itched and burned like mad. 

Prompto hopped from side to side in front of you, waiting for your skin to heal before he threw his jacket over your shoulders but it was too late by then, they had all seen everything.

Once it was all over, once your life was no longer in danger you fell down into the swamp. You hugged Prompto’s jacket to your torso but you couldn’t zip it up, it was far too small, leaving it open at the top.

You realised that your whole neck was on display. 

They were still staring at you.

“Is anyone going to tell me what is going on?” came Ignis.

“She got, caught in the blast.”

“I’m ok.”

“It’s bad we need to go back to the camp and patch you up.”

“Noctis, go and get the royal arm. Do you need me to carry you?”

“No I’m fine Gladiolus.” But he kept walking closer to you. His eyes were soft but you could see him looking over you carefully, probably mapping out every bruise and line on your body. Your jeans were ripped and you were sure they could all see your inner thighs.

He stood next to you and leant down, you heard the moment he stopped breathing. 

“Your neck. You have a god damn hand print on your neck.” Gladio swung around to Ignis who was standing close to you.

“She has a fucking hand print on her neck Ignis.”

“I’m fine Gladiolus.” And you turned to face him, in the process tilting your body and you watched as his eyes moved over all of the new skin bared to him.

“Your skin is black” and in a disregard for your personal space reached down and pulled the flaps of Prompto’s jacket away to get a closer look at you. You made to step back but he held you still, inspecting you like you were some kind of animal.  
“Are those just from nails?” He took a deep breath “Turn around.”

“No! What the fuck Gladiolus.”

But he spun you around anyway and lifted Prompto’s jacket away from your skin. It didn’t take too long for him to see that your entire back was covered in raised scratches, some still scabbed over. Then he turned you around again and lifted your scraggly hair from your neck, and there were very deep teeth marks there, one very fresh.

Gladio stood up and was shaking.

“This isn’t your fault.” He said out loud to himself and then turned towards Ignis with murder in his eyes.   
“What the fuck are you thinking?”

Ignis stayed silent. 

Gladiolus was seething with rage and you could see Ignis’ anger slowly showing through the cracks.

“I don’t care that you can’t see her, you should know better. You should damn well know better than to squeeze so hard that there’s a fucking hand print on her neck. You know better than all of this.”

Ignis spoke for the first time in six knows how long; he stood up for himself.   
“Are you jealous perhaps Gladiolus? A blind man getting more action than you. I know you were watching us last night, I hope you enjoyed the show“

You watched Gladio snap. You were screaming at him to stop but it was no use. Gladio pushed Ignis in the chest and he flew backwards. 

You were screaming and you ran up behind Gladio and jumped up, wrapping your arms around his neck and pulling backwards. He was caught off guard and he flew down hard into the swampy water, hitting it with a loud smacking sound. You jumped off him at the last second and ran towards Ignis who was crouched down in the dirty water.

He was breathing hard and obviously in shock. 

“Ignis, Ignis my darling. Are you alright?”

“You didn’t tell me it left a bruise.”

“Did you not think it would?”

Gladio sat there breathing hard and struggling to calm himself down.  
“You need to tell us what the fuck happened to you Ignis and all of this needs to stop.” He turned and looked as Prompto and Noctis were running towards you, hopefully they had gotten the royal arm. 

Noctis read the situation remarkably well.  
“Let’s go back to the camp and regroup. We can work out what we’re going to do then.”

You nodded at him and turned away walking back to camp on your own, mostly naked as your skin burned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *Wipes Brow* That was intense. Next chapter we get to learn about what happened to Ignis and I had some ideas before the ep Ignis teaser scene but now I've just got even more inspiration.
> 
> There's only one or two more chapters to go with this. Thanks for sticking by me with it.
> 
> Did you enjoy this chapter? Are you looking forward to finding out what happened to Ignis? Let me know. I'm excited to write the next bit. See you all soon.


	10. Invulnerable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone. I'm sorry this chapter took me so long but life has been a bitch and this chapter just didn't want to be released and it ended up far longer than I intended.
> 
> I still think the middle bit is terrible but I just rewrote it so many times that I can't look at it anymore. 
> 
> Oh well, Hope you enjoy.

You knew it had been a bad idea at the time but you really shouldn’t have assaulted Gladio; definitely not. You shouldn’t have climbed up his body like that; you should have realised that it would scrape all of the burnt and partially healed skin off your arms and legs. You hadn’t noticed the pain at the time; there has been too much adrenaline in your system. You also definitely shouldn’t have fallen down into and knelt in that filthy water straight afterwards and let the musty liquid seep into those fresh wounds. 

You didn’t want to say anything and considering that you were pretty sure Noctis and Prompto hadn’t seen what had happened you didn’t want to draw attention to the fact that there were now huge pieces of skin falling off your arms as you struggled with each step forwards. The elixir that had been forced down your throat meant that the skin underneath it was fully formed; if not a bright irritated pink colour and sensitive to the air. The feel of the Malboro guts and swamp water soaking into the raw skin didn’t help at all either. It was too cold in this area for you to air dry and the wind was freezing, at least you didn’t have to worry about soggy, waterlogged clothes; though you weren’t sure if that was a plus side or not. 

You were ahead of the others; you weren’t exactly how much further ahead but enough that hopefully they couldn’t see you too closely. You were walking slowly, each step made your muscles scream and between your legs ache as the tender skin was rubbed raw with each step. You had no idea how they hadn’t caught up to you yet, maybe they were deliberately walking behind you or maybe they were helping Ignis; either way, you weren’t going to turn back and see what was going on. 

Prompto’s jacket was long enough to cover you so you weren’t indecent but too much of your skin was exposed to the freezing air and the jacket was slightly wet and not doing a good job of keeping you warm. You knew that even if you could get Noctis or Ignis to summon some of your clothes for you; you wouldn’t be able to put them on without some serious first aid. 

Every step just caused more and more agony. Somehow your boots had survived, probably because you had been standing knee deep in the swamp water when it happened but they did little to stop the feeling that your skin was too tight on your bones and you had no fucking pants on; every time your bare skin rubbed together you wanted to scream.

Finally the campsite came into view; you were seriously worrying for a good portion of the trip that you wouldn’t be able to make it. You had no idea what to do once you got there but just being engulfed in the familiar, comforting glow of the runes seemed like a good idea.

You hit a roadblock once you got there though. The haven was elevated up and you needed to raise your legs to step up onto it. You had forgotten how much of a stretch it was to get up there and your legs just were not operating.

You heard the others catch up behind you. They sort of looked at you oddly as Noctis stepped up and immediately flung himself down on one of the camping chairs while Prompto; voice low, helped coax Ignis up onto the haven. 

You couldn’t see Gladio and you couldn’t say you wondered where he was but then there were large hands on your hips. He could have fucking warned you. The pain was excruciating as he lifted you up and put you down on your feet on top of the glowing stones. You turned around to have a go at him; fucking warn a girl would you; but he wasn’t making eye contact with you. You were standing close enough together that he would have to look down to see your eyes and he just, wasn’t. He was looking over your head, fucking rude.

You watched as Prompto ran up to the both of you, dragging the heavy duty first aid kit along with him. It was about the size of a briefcase and had absolutely everything you could ever need inside of it; you were sort of glad for Ignis’ usual over preparedness at the moment. Normally Ignis would be the one to administer first aid, he had the most training and was absolutely meticulous after all but well that obviously wasn’t going to happen. 

Prompto was staring up at Gladio like a lost puppy; you knew that he had absolutely no idea what to do. Gladio sighed and shook his shoulders out before finally turning to look down at you.

“How about we head into the tent” There were large hands on the small of your back guiding you towards it. You knew you were injured but you we not at all a fan of this casual touching; your body felt like it was on fire and you could manage on your own. 

He turned towards the others, Ignis was standing by Noctis and they were talking about something you couldn’t hear.

“Noctis, Ignis. One of you, she needs some clothes.” You didn’t know how the Armiger worked but you didn’t doubt that Gladio would have no idea how to summon your clothes. 

Ignis turned to look in your general direction. You hadn’t seen him since you had walked away before and he looked even worse than he did before. His glasses were askew and he wasn’t bothering to fix them. He was covered in dirt and his clothes were soaking wet; it looked like he had been crying.

“You should allow me to assist”

“Fine” Gladio said as he finally took his hand off your back and walked towards Ignis to help him into the tent. You just walked inside and pre-empted them both.

So you ended up in the tent; Gladio, Ignis and yourself. With Gladio unpacking the first aid kit and trying not to make eye contact with you and Ignis just sat in the corner ready to give advice or assistance if it was required.

You carefully shucked off Prompto jacket from around your shoulders. There wasn’t any point in being timid; they needed to come off anyway. Everyone had already seen the damage; there was no point in hiding anymore. You started trying to peel some of the burnt up pieces of your sleeves and jeans out of your skin but you just ended up digging nails into your skin, the pieces were pretty much embedded in your skin; you weren’t going to be able to get that fabric unstuck.

You had stopped paying attention to everything around you and jumped when you heard Gladio’s voice, loud and scolding.

“Don’t touch that.” He was talking to you like a child and you hated it. Ignis was just looking blankly in your direction and not really sure what to do.

Gladio all but threw a damp towel at you and told you to try and get some of the dirt off your body. You made to retort that you know, your skin was literally peeling off but once you saw the absolutely murder in his eyes you stayed quiet. It hurt to run the towel over you’re your skin, even with a gentle touch but you did feel better once you were cleaner

Gladio turned to face you; bandages, ointment and potions in hand. He looked you up and down with a clinical gaze that didn’t linger on any part of you. 

“This is going to hurt.” His voice was to the point and no nonsense; of course you knew it was going to hurt. You didn’t get any time to prepare before there were hands on your body, moving your limbs into a position so that he could start. Gladio was good and you expected it to hurt more, you could hardly feel the tweezers as he pulled the cloth from your skin, the ointment burned but between that and the potion it stopped hurting once the skin was bandaged. 

It was silent as Gladio worked apart from you gasping and grunting in pain occasionally. It had been about 15 minutes before Ignis broke the silence and concentration with a small voice.

“How bad is it?”

“Well” Gladio was immediately on the defensive and you could almost guess what he was going to say.  
“It would be easier to access the damage if she wasn’t covered in previous Injuries”  
Ignis stayed silent after that, you turned to glare at Gladio but didn’t say anything as a retort because it’s not like he was wrong.

You could tell that Gladio’s patience was wearing thin by the time he had worked across your skins and down your torso to your thighs. You could tell that he was not very excited about the thought of peeling melted panty fragments out of the bruises between your thighs. 

“Are you burned here?” He asked even though he could obviously tell that you were. You didn’t blame him for not wanting to go anywhere near that area though.

“I can do there.” You said and held out your hands to take the salve from him. He stepped away to give you space while you started bandaging up the tops of your thighs. You managed to get a decent part of your thighs bandaged up before Gladio had to step in and help with the rest.

He helped you get dressed when you were done too. It took a few tries to find some clothes that you would actually be able to get on considering your injuries and Ignis had a bit of trouble summoning them.

Gladio stepped back from you once you were finished and looked you up and down appraisingly. 

“Do you think you can make it back to the train?” Gladio’s voice was full of concern. The unspoken fact that he desperately wanted a shower and a proper bed wasn’t lost on you.

“I don’t think so” you said quietly because honestly you just wanted to fall down onto one of the bedrolls and never wake up again. 

“Alright” he sounded disappointed but let you be.  
“I’ll leave you two. Do NOT get up to anything” he said darkly as a warning before he moved to unzip and exit the tent.

You turned towards Ignis who was just looking totally lost. The poor thing had had basically no stimulus for hours now. You moved over towards him and said his name so that he would know you were close to him. You reached out and put a hand on his shoulder but he immediately flinched away from you

“Ignis” You were concerned when he recoiled at the sound of his name. 

He turned to look roughly where your eyes were and you adjusted your gaze to look at his closed ones behind his dark glasses.

“I didn’t know you weren’t with us.”

“It’s alright Ignis” and you reached out to touch him again, he didn’t recoil this time but he didn’t lean into you either. “It wasn’t your fault”

“I should have checked before I did something so rash.”

“You saved us Ignis. We wouldn’t have been able to defeat it without you”

He just furrowed his brow and pursed his lips together like he didn’t agree with you.

He reached out and put his hand on top of yours on his shoulder.

“I knew what I was doing and I let it continue.” 

Well, that didn’t have to do with the Malboro. “Ignis”

“I knew I was taking it too far but I couldn’t find it within myself to stop. I thought that I was in control of myself but last night. I was just going to let it happen in front of everyone, and I was too rough.” You watched a single bloody tear snake down his face as his whole body turned away from you in shame.

“You were still half asleep and out of it. I don’t think you would have” you wanted to comfort him because you didn’t blame him. 

“I slammed you against the floor.” He sighed with his face to the floor “You don’t know the sort of things that fly through my mind now that I am alone with it”

“You could always tell me.” You squeezed his shoulder as he looked like he was contemplating something but then he steeled himself and his façade came back up again.

“It doesn’t change the fact that I was about to rape you in front of the others. It doesn’t change the fact that I almost killed you today and that we can’t even access the damage properly. You could have died because I can’t fucking contain myself.”

“I wanted it every time, yeah you were rough but you would have stopped if I asked”

“You are not in any state to consent”

“Neither are you”

Way to go, you scolded yourself. Ignis was crying now; blood staining his face again as his shoulders shook violently. You reached out and pulled him into your arms and pulled him against you. His posture was stiff and while he didn’t recoil from you, he didn’t return the embrace either. You ran your hands up and down his spine to try and soothe him a little bit and it helped slightly.

You dug fingers into his shoulders to knead at the tension there until you could feel him relax against you but he still didn’t want to touch you, still didn’t put arms around you; you supposed that was acceptable. 

“I love you Ignis.” You whispered against his hair. 

“I” and he stopped as a huge sob tore through his body before he could catch his breath.  
“I adore you. I love you. I’m sorry.” With that his arms finally came around you; squeezing you far too tight and crushing you against his heaving chest. The pressure of his arms on you had your skin screaming in pain but you endured it. 

“I forgive you.” You threaded a hand through his hair. “It’s not your fault.”

You felt his breath hitch and then he was sobbing into your shoulder.

You felt him feeling out all of the bandages snaking across your skin; felt his hands running across your back, down your arms and across your chest. You felt him draw in a sharp inhale when his fingers skimmed the tops of your thighs and found bandages snaking themselves around you there too. You felt him recoil in horror when he brushed against the parts of your inner thigh s that weren’t covered by the bandages because all that being burnt had done was make all of the bites and divots in your flesh more pronounced. 

For the first time, the full realisation of everything hit Ignis and he almost completely shut down. You held him as he cried against your shoulder; until there were no tears left and there was just blood leaking down from his empty eye socket. When that milky iris stained with blood looked up at you with absolutely no recognition in it; you felt it like physical pain. Maybe you couldn’t do this anymore. 

 

By the time you made it back to the train the next day, all of you were exhausted. It had been a long and arduous trek slowed down by Ignis and yourself and your own slower walking pace, not to mention the loss of motivation for dealing with this dungeons bullshit now that you had the royal arm in your possession.

You hadn’t slept at all the night before; you couldn’t get comfortable; lying down on any part of you hurt and the atmosphere in the tent was stifling anyway. Ignis woke up in the middle of the night screaming again but Gladio helped calm him down this time and you thought it helped a lot. Ignis calmed down almost immediately once Gladio was there, he didn’t cry out or shake but you didn’t fall back to sleep as you hid your head in your pillow to hide your tears that you couldn’t even be there for him when he needed you.

It took hours for showers to be had, wounds to be bandaged up and for the garbage that the train cafeteria decided was edible to be consumed. There was a silence hanging over the whole thing; because Ignis was going to come clean with everything after all of it was done. You could see how tense he was about the whole thing; you could see it in every movement he made and the way didn’t seem to be able to relax his face.

 

It was later, far later that you were all sitting around the room, rickety chairs pulled in a circle around him. You were all nervous and the atmosphere in the room was tense but this needed to be done. You all just sat there and waited for him to be ready.

“I am aware that I said I would tell you everything however, I fear that I don’t have the stomach to put all of it into words.” Ignis’ voice was cracking as he struggled to keep himself in check.

“Whatever you can Iggy.” 

He took a deep breath. “This will not be pleasant for any party in this room.”

Then he began

 

We had just pushed the boat away from the harbour when we started to hear it; a child screaming out from the ruins of the city. We could see them as plain as day, a young girl absolutely terrified standing amongst the rubble. Immediately I jumped of the boat, we were still close enough to the harbour that I could make it.” Ignis’ voice seemed to improve as the more he spoke. 

“I couldn’t make the jump. You just left me alone on the boat” he turned his head to look at you but said nothing.

“I was able to see her the whole time; right up until I was close enough to touch her and then she just disappeared. There was no flash of light or warning, one moment she was there and the next she wasn’t. Her screaming had stopped and suddenly the world was falling apart around me.

There were falling pieces of building and glass; they fell in what seemed at the time like a predetermined pattern for it walled me off from the outside world and I was no longer able to see the harbour. It was about that time that the Leviathan decided that she was not happy with Noctis; what a surprise that was.“ Ignis chuckled at his own joke but then continued.

“There was debris floating and whipping around above my head and I’m ashamed to admit that it distracted me for long enough that I wasn’t able to tell that there were MT units sneaking up on me. I have no idea how they managed to move so quietly but they seemed to be endless.

I was fighting them off while trying to find an escape route but I was walled off from everything and more and more of them kept dropping in from the sky. Their armour stayed on the floor once I took them down and as I defeated more and more it became increasingly difficult to manoeuvre in the small space. 

It wasn’t an MT that took me out in the end. I was hit in the back of the head by some sort of debris that caused me to lose my balance. The MTs were on me in my moment of weakness before I could react.” Ignis took in a deep breath and you could see that he was starting to be affected by his own words.

“They pinned me to the ground with guns pointed towards my head. One wrenched my arms behind my back and the force of it dislocated my left shoulder. It took so many of them to hold me down and I couldn’t move at all.

One of them pulled my head up and then there was Ardyn filling up my vision. I didn’t know then of course what he really was or what he had done. I was about to implore him for some assistance but then I saw him signal to the unit holding onto my head and I realised that he definitely wasn’t on our side. 

The MT shoved me to the floor and ground my face into the concrete; scraping my glasses along the side of my face as he went. 

He said something, the exact words escape me because I wasn’t given time to react before the cold hand on my face was pressing me down harder against the floor. 

My spectacles shattered against my face.

That was not the cause of my eye injury but I assume it contributed to some of my scars; not that I have seen them. It hurt but didn’t really compare to what was to come.

I am fairly sure that there were shards of glass embedded into my skin once the MTs finally hauled me to my feet. They were none to gentle and my shoulder was still dislocated and hanging limp against my side.

They loosened their grip because they thought I was subdued. I snapped the neck of the one behind me and summoned my daggers. I took down about five of them before I was overwhelmed again.

This time they didn’t underestimate me when they held me up.

Ardyn walked up to me and backhanded me across the face in a way that sent my spectacles skidding off across the floor where they would be lost forever. I knew there was still glass embedded into my skin because the blood was starting to trickle down my face.

Ardyn leant down until he was right in my field of vision; making sure I could see him with my spectacles I suppose. I moved to head-butt him in the face but he just laughed as the MT behind my head tightened its grip and pulled me backwards.

“What a predicament that our favourite strategist seems to have found himself in.” His voice was playful and had the sort of tone that made my hair stand on end. 

I spat in his face.

He laughed at me.

“Whatever is the matter Ignis? Prince got your tongue?”

“I killed him you know; I watched your prince’s face as I stabbed the darling Lunafreya right through her ridiculous white dress. I slapped her so hard her ponytail fell out; you should have seen it. I laughed as he held her in his arms and watched the life fade from her eyes. He tried to retaliate against me and I drove my blade right through the centre of him. I watched his face as his world became enveloped in crimson. It was an incredible sight; it is such a shame that you missed it“   
I knew that Noctis was still alive because I could still feel this magic; but his taunt had its intended effect. 

“You’re lying”

“But Ignis, does it really matter whether I am or not?”

Then he made some motions at the MTs and the one behind me divested me of my shirt, ripped it to pieces more like it. I was concerned about what would come next. 

Ardyn looked me up and down like you would cattle for slaughter.

“I was not expecting you to be in such good shape. Such a pity you hide something like this under all of that fancy clothing. No matter, at least this will be entertaining.”

Ardyn summoned a dagger and held it out handle first towards me. 

“How about we play a game?”

This horrific smirk appeared on his face and his face seemed to melt into black and white for a moment.

“I want you to take this dagger and run the blade across your skin.” With that an MT released my not dislocated arm so that I was free to move it.

I took the dagger and looked it over in my hand, trying to judge the distance and see whether or not I would be able to slash Ardyn with it. I didn’t think it would work but I tried anyway, lunging at him and ripping myself out of the MTs grasp. 

He laughed as he summoned the dagger away from me and into his own hand before he brought it down across my torso. It wasn’t deep but it drew a lot of blood; the slash went from one shoulder to my hip; he could have split me in half if he had wanted to.

He forced MTs around me again to hold me up as he decided to use my body for target practice; slashing across my torso until I couldn’t make out what was a cut and what was just blood.

“It is up to you, Royal Advisor; as to whether or not you will get out of this alive”

Ardyn looked at the blood falling down my torso with a sick sort of glee as he summoned a flask with fire swirling through it and then offered it to me.

“Would you press this against your skin? You can choose where.” 

The MTs released my dislocated arm and Ardyn took it and pushed the flask between my fingers. He ran it across my skin and then stopped on my shoulder. 

“How about here? If you’re lucky you’ll be able to hide it with your shirt.”

Ardyn pressed the flask to my skin and pressed until it shattered.”

“That is this burn” Ignis’ voice was low as he slowly gestured to his shoulder; you knew what was hiding under there, the huge burn across his shoulder and torso. You were fairly sure everyone else had seen it as well.

He stood back and laughed at me while I screamed in agony; but I stood my ground and tried not to show weakness. He didn’t seem too ecstatic with the fact that I was still standing once the fire had faded; it had burnt my skin enough to seal the wound and some of the ones across my torso; I was in less pain afterwards than before as it managed to burn off most of my nerve endings. 

“Watching you being engulfed by flames; it is ever so fitting. Ignis”

He let me recover from the pain but I was still breathing hard and wouldn’t have been able to support myself upright without the MTs holding me. 

“Would you summon your favourite dagger for me Ignis?” the corners of his mouth turned up in a sick smile as black melted down from his eyes for a moment before the illusion disappeared. Ardyn has some sort of magic about him, but I am not sure what it is for he summoned my dagger into my hands somehow.

He grasped his hand over the handle and I felt the blade grow hot in my palm.

“Brand yourself Ignis. Brand yourself with the crest of your king that you follow so blindly. You can choose the place.”

I spat at his face again with that. “I will do no such thing.”

Ardyn laughed and snatched the dagger from my hands and ran it down my face. That was what caused the loss of vison in my right eye. I could feel the blood drip down my face and to the floor but I couldn’t see any of it. I was unsure then as to whether I had lost my vision or not; for the blood would have blocked my vision anyway. 

“Have it your way Ignis.” He snarled as he held the hilt of my dagger in his palm again. 

“You have a woman, don’t you? I am sure she will love seeing your devotion to your king each time you make love.”

He pressed the blade of the dagger to my palm. 

“Brand your hip.” He spoke in a no nonsense tone and I, I was still reeling from what he had done to my eye and so I did it.

I pressed the burning hot hilt of the dagger to the flesh of my hip and burnt the Lucian Royal Crest into my skin.

I am unsure of how much time passed after that before Ardyn spoke again.

“You have been a misbehaved but wonderful plaything nonetheless. I have decided that I will let you go; I have accomplished everything that I needed to.

He motioned to the MTs and they released me; I feel to the ground immediately, not able to keep my own weight up. 

Ardyn walked up to me; towered over me. He grabbed my chin and angled my bleeding face up to his.

“Do you know young advisor that Noctis is the Chosen King? I am sure you have worked it out by now. Have you studied up the legends? I recall that there is an absolutely gorgeous portrait of the Chosen King’s return in the front room of the Citadel. I remember looking fondly at it on the day Insomnia fell.”

Ardyn looked at me with distaste written in his expression as I was powerless and unable to move.

“Do you recall that in that painting; there is the King and his three companions? Do you recall that one of them is wearing a blindfold? I would absolutely hate to mess with fate Ignis and I have decided that the blinded companion will be you.”

I watched as Ardyn readied a fire spell in his hand.

“This is the destiny that you were born for Ignis Scientia; Mister Fire Science.” He chuckled again and I watched from my one good eye as his face melted to black. “How fitting that it should occur from the flames of the fallen.”

Ardyn drove the fire spell into my eye; he held it against my skin as my eye melted away before he shoved the spell into the socked and set off its power.

I was screaming in agony but I felt him yanking on my hair and his voice rang in my ears. 

“I am ever so looking forward to seeing how this story will end.”

Ardyn threw me to the ground and the next thing I knew; I was waking up to blackness back at the hotel.

 

Ignis took a deep breath as he finished. It was not easy being in a room with four full grown men crying, the energy in the room was intense and not all of it was from Noctis’ aura crackling in rage. Even Ignis was shaking from the stifling atmosphere as he shed blood from his mangled eyes. 

Gladio was the first to get up and leave; he slammed the door behind him and you heard a loud bang as he obviously punched some sort of wall outside the room. Prompto and Noctis didn’t say anything but they nodded at each other before getting up and leaving to give the two of you some space.

You stood up from your seat as soon as the door shut; wiping your eyes with the bandages snaking around your forearm. You walked over to Ignis slowly with footsteps as loud as you could manage against the threadbare carpet to try and alert him to your presence; you didn’t want to startle him but you were more worried that he wouldn’t want to touch you again.

You stood in front of him and wiped your eyes again, not that it helped because more instantly fell to take their place. 

“Ignis” you spoke softly and reached up and put a hand on his shoulder. He didn’t recoil when you touched him this time; he just cocked his bleeding eyes to where he thought your face was, he was pretty far off.

You leant down in front of him and moved your hand against his shoulders and he leaned against your touch. That was a good sign and so you moved forward until you were straddling him; with your knees of either side of his hips in a chair that was far too small for that position, but it didn’t matter.

You just sat there looking at him. You could see all of his scars in a new light now that you knew how they got there; it was so much worse. You reached out to take his glasses off and he let you; you put them aside and turned back to face him as his shoulders shook.

Your hands came out to touch his face and then you were pressing your lips against each scar.

“You’re beautiful Ignis, everything you did, all of these tell a story that I can’t even imagine.” You pressed your lips against the starburst covering his left eye and he whimpered.

It seemed that he couldn’t handle that because he pulled away from you and his face then pressed down into your neck. You could immediately feel the wetness of the blood on his face and the tears seeping through the thin bandages covering your shoulders but it didn’t matter. Strong arms came around you, hands closing against the small of your back and they squeezed far too tightly around and crushed you against his shaking core. 

The two of you cried out against each other for an unmeasurable period of time. You just cried under you were out of tears, until the fabric of his shirt was soaked through and so was yours. You cried until the movement of his shoulders turned from full blown violent shakes to just small shivers; more from the temperature of the train than anything else. 

You felt when he stopped crying; when finally the blood stopped pouring from his eyes because he pulled away from your shoulder and turned to look at you.

Your faces were close together and for the first time you were motivated to actually look at him, now you knew where his scars came from; rather than just seeing it but not really taking it in.

His eyes were large as he looked at you with an expression not unlike a lost puppy. The normally white space around his milky eye was dyed red with blood, it looked painful but he probably couldn’t feel it. With the contrast of all the red around it you were able to make out small flecks of green across his cloudy iris that you hadn’t noticed before. You could still see the colour that they used to be before this; before you had seen only grey but the emerald was still there, sort of. They were still the eyes of the man you loved just, they couldn’t see you anymore.

Ignis’ face was absolutely covered in a diluted watery blood that sunk itself into every line, crevice and scar on his face. He looked like a killer out of a horror film; disfigured and covered in blood; maybe that how he looked once Ardyn was fresh through with him. The thought made your chest ache and you quickly tried to distract yourself but reaching up with a bandaged arm and starting to wipe the blood off his face. You just ended up smearing it across his face and you had forgotten how rough your bandages were until he winced in pain; the touch startling him into opening his destroyed left eye.

So there you were with your partner, boyfriend, abuser, lover; what even were you anymore? With him whispering your name over and over in a barely audible voice while holding your gaze with a morbid beauty of a sightless eye and one irritated empty socket. You were almost used to the sight of it now and it didn’t bother you nearly as much as you thought it should. The inside of his skull was just dark, you could really only make out the cuts and burns on the muscle at the back of the socket that bled whenever there was too much pressure on it. 

It didn’t seem like Ignis realised he had it open because he just kept holding your gaze; he just kept trying to look at your face with his sightless eyes. 

You hadn’t even realised that you were doing it until it was too late; reaching down between your bodies and pressing your hand down over the crotch of his pants.

His breath hitched but he otherwise did nothing as you splayed your hand out over his crotch between your legs but he broke eye contact with you his head falling down to gaze into his lap and his empty eye closed once more. 

He looked like he was torn and you knew why, but the both of you needed this. You tightened your hand around him and squeezed, he was already half hard which just a week ago given the circumstances you would have found insane but after recently. Trauma and feeling like this and sex were almost irreparably linked together in your brain. 

“I don’t want to hurt you.” His voice was weak and broken with the words spoken dejected.

“You have never hurt me Ignis.” You said with so much conviction you almost believed it yourself but you could see from his expression that he didn’t.

“I don’t want to do this to you anymore.”

You didn’t want to respond and so you didn’t, you just leant forward and crushed your lips to his. You could taste iron on his lips from all the blood on his face but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. He didn’t kiss you back to start with; just sat still and pliant against you as he fought with whatever demons were in his head. They didn’t put up much of a fight once you wrapped your hand around his clothed cock and pushed your tongue through his parted lips.

He pulled back from you eventually with hands clenching against your hips like he didn’t know what he wanted to do. 

You pressed lips to his ear, you knew you were taking advantage but did it really matter anymore?  
“Ignis. I need you. I need you.”

“We need to stop this.” He said but his hands only tightened around your hips; pulling you forward and more onto his lap, pressing your core against the hardness you coaxed out between his legs.

“Tomorrow” And then there were lips on yours and hands on your ass pulling and pushing you against him before they wandered. Both of his hands were running around the top of your skirt, it was the only thing you were able to wear with all of the bandages and it didn’t matter how much of your skin was on show because it was all bandaged up anyway.

He moved hands under your skirt as you worked to undo his fly; fingers running across the top of the bandages on your thigh as hands grasped your hips. He seemed content to let you take the lead ,maybe because he didn’t want to hurt you, maybe because he didn’t really want to do this, either way; the way that his hands were clenching against your hips was driving you mad. 

The smell of acrid blood filled your nostrils as he deepened the kiss against you; you let the salty, metallic flavour of blood mixed with ebony him assault your senses as his tongue moved against yours. It didn’t last long though before he pulled away with a gasp once you finally got his pants undone and wrapped shaking fingers around his cock as you freed it between you. 

That made him move, hands snaking down from your hips to between your legs. Fingers brushing across the wetness soaking through your panties; yanking them to the side and pulling your hips until they lined up with his dick. 

Your bodies fit together effortlessly like always; with the deeply satisfied moan he almost always let out once he was sheathed fully inside of you; to the slight burn as your body adjusted to him each time. The way that the world felt less harsh, like nothing else mattered but the two of you, when he took up your whole field of vision and all of your brain’s processing power. The way that the scent of him, ebony, salt, skin and fancy cologne that made you melt.

Soon your bodies found the rhythm that was all too familiar; the push and pull and roll of hips that brought you together and made you forget about everything else.

It didn’t matter that he tasted like iron and salt or that you probably tasted like burnt flesh. It didn’t matter that your hands were grasping at his hips like they were the only thing keeping you alive or that he was pressing an insistent touch against yours that made pain erupt from every point where his fingers pressed too hard into your skin. 

The way the heavy rise and fall of his chest pressing against yours as you were crushed against him; that you could feel how alive he was and how you could have lost him that day if Ardyn wasn’t such a sadistic fuck. The way that whispers of his name escaped from his lips that even though he couldn’t see you and could have been fucking anyone that he was still thinking about you. The way you couldn’t quite meet his lips every time and that way that you watched blood smear across his cheek and down his neck when you pressed your own blood covered lips and cheek against his soft pale skin.

The way that your body still felt like it was on fire even though his touch was dulled through your bandages. The mess you could feel between your thighs, fluid; blood from what you could see flowing down your thighs and staining your bandages and the crotch of his pants.

The way you were crying out and sobbing his name over and over one of his hands worked on your clit while the other was squeezing to tight on your hip you thought it might bruise while pulling you on his lap and forcing you to rock with him in that timeless rhythm. The way you were clenching too tight around him because every time you did you could feel his muscles moving at it made you feel alive. And the way you were squeezing down on his waist so you could feel that huge gash move against your skin, knowing how it had gotten there.

It was messy and the noise that your bodies made pressing together was stifling, the scent of iron and sweat and sizzled skin was only second to hot breath and the salty taste of skin against your tongue. 

You were marking up his neck like no one’s business, leaving bites and hickeys so dark they almost looked like the rest of his burns. Because he deserved to be marked up by thing he actually wanted, not something that was forced, not something that was nothing. 

Then he opened his cloudy eye and looked at you and you gasped. Before all of this, one thing that would happen is that Ignis’ eyes when he was aroused they would dilate to be almost black, you wouldn’t be able to see any green. You hadn’t looked in his eyes when you had fucked, and well it was light enough in the room but still comfortable to have it open. You could see that his colourless pupil was dilated the whole way, the colour of it. The look of it brought you to tears but it went a jolt through you, that he could still react in this base way and that he did actually want you, it wasn’t just a coping mechanism. 

When you came it was together, crying out each other’s names like it was all you had left in the world. You were a mess and for a moment you were glad he couldn’t see it, he didn’t need it added to his guilt. You watched as he reached his hand up to his lips to lick your essence away and then watched him recoil as he tasted blood; you laughed at that, at least there was still some humour.

The both of you were a mess.  
His skin, your skin, and your clothes were covered in blood, sweat and tears. Your bandages were soaked through from the exertion, and you could tell from the off yellow colour that it wasn’t all just sweat. 

Ignis was covered in his own blood; it was in his hair, the spiked up tips beginning to droop down from the humidity around you and the weight of the blood in them. There as blood all down his neck from where you had spread it out and smeared it into all of his scars as you had kissed them. His previously white shirt covered in dull pink blotches now that stood out starkly against the old bruises covering his neck and the new ones blossoming a dark purple. There was some on his pants as well; a mixture of both of your reds dark next to the drying white stains of your release and his; falling down his cock that was still slowly softening inside of you. 

Ignis looked incredible like this; exhausted, vulnerable, fucked out of his mind but most of all; yours. 

Eventually the afterglow came to an end; his cock slipped out of you and the fluids on your body started to dry. You kept holding each other but your legs were cramping up and you could feel him shaking underneath you with the overstimulation of it all.

“We can’t put ourselves together from this Ignis. We’re going to need a shower and change of clothes” you said, looking down at the mess you both were.

He looked up at you with a wicked grin which made your heart ache; he hadn’t made a facial expression like that in so long.

“If I can’t see it then there’s no mess.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What did you think? Please let me know if you have any feedback, especially about the middle section because I'll probably go back and improve it once I've had some more time to think about it.
> 
> Next chapter is the last one, and it will have two smut scenes in it, so look forward to that.
> 
> I also wrote a sort of prequel to this story called "An Undeniable Attraction" it's just a really long one shot of non angsty Reader x Ignis smut that I'll be adding chapters to as I get ideas. It's in the same series as this story so it should be easy to find if you want to read it. 
> 
> Question, comments, concerns? Post here or hit me up at https://tehrevving.tumblr.com/


	11. Inextinguishable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is it. The last chapter. I hope you enjoy.

This morning was different in so many ways; waking up in your own bunk rather than one of those thin camping mattresses that did absolutely nothing to comfort you. You actually slept through the night, not a good sleep mind you; you were restless and definitely had a few nightmares. Flashes of daggers, silver and flames shoot across your mind’s eye as you try to shake away the last vestiges of sleep. You could remember the screaming; your own screams as you felt flames lick at your flesh.

Shit.

Wake up.

It was dangerous now that you were back at a safe base of sorts; now that you weren’t worried about being attacked at any moment there was just free reign for your mind to run wild with thoughts and ideas that you were struggling to push down; the images were vivid and they just kept coming, over and over. You needed a distraction.

Yesterday, it felt like so long ago. After the story, after you again had not helped with the healing process. Hours after when everyone was silent in thought and the darkness was creeping in and suffocating; Noctis had found you. Presented you with stronger potions that he made to take his mind off everything; to try and help somebody at least; he was odd like that. He had said that it helped him redirect some of his anger, that he found it easier to channel his magic now he had the ring even if he wasn’t wearing it. 

With the shattering sound of glass breaking but not actually breaking all of your discomfort disappeared. Your skin was still raw and red but not sensitive anymore; your cuts and bruises faded to silver and the ache that pulsed all over vanished. You would never be able to get over the type of things that magic could do, the good things; how much damage could be healed by it but then in the back of your mind you were taken over by thoughts of all of the damage it could do, how it could create wounds that would never heal and always cause agony. 

You threw those thoughts down.

But it didn’t matter because you didn’t know how you felt. It was like your chest was going to split in two from the pain of all it; a physical ache deep under your skin; squeezing at your heart like it was trying to choke the essence of your being. Those intrusive thoughts were there; about how much worse you made everything, maybe it wouldn’t have happened if you had followed him; if you hadn’t been such a coward hiding away even though you knew that wasn’t what happened and that Ardyn would have done it regardless. There was so much anger and fear that you just wanted to curl into yourself and try to make it all go away but you had to be strong for Ignis; for all of them. 

You forced yourself to get out of bed and to have a proper look around the room; it was empty. The others must have already gotten up; how long had you been asleep for? There were the tell-tale signs of towels hung up on bunks and old clothed thrown over hastily made beds; you were unsure as to how you managed to sleep through the amount of commotion that the four of them usually caused in the morning. 

You could hear that the shower was on, steam escaping from underneath the door telling you that whoever was in there had been in there for some time. Noctis usually took excessively long showers but from the way that his clothes weren’t strewn all over the floor you could tell that it wasn’t him. 

Another glance around the room told you that it was Ignis in the shower; his cane hung up on the back on the back of the door and his bed being the only one without sleeping clothes on top of it. 

Knowing that it was him and that he normally took very short to the point showers; encouraged you to stand up on shaky legs that didn’t want to co-operate with you as you rubbed your eyes with shaking hands that weren’t quite used to being healed yet. You were a little bit worried, you weren’t certain of Ignis’ ability to properly look after himself no matter how independent he tried to insist that he was. 

You staggered up to the door and knocked on it; calling out his name. You didn’t expect to hear anything but you could hear the rush of the spray of water hitting tiles muffled through the door. You took a breath in and opened the door; it’s not like this the train had locks to start with. You stepped into the steam fogging up the room and shut the door behind you.

“Ignis” you called out.  
“Are you alright?”

There was no response and so you stepped forward into the small room, turning towards the small shower cubicle; the ratty shower curtain open. It didn’t seem like Ignis had heard you and so you just looked at him for a while before deciding to make your presence known.

Ignis was sat down on the dirty floor of the shower; the spray mostly hitting the tiles as he sat with his back to the wall. His hair flat down over his closed eyes with soap and other things scattered around him.

“Ignis” you called out and he turned towards your voice.

He obviously recognised your voice and wasn’t particularly concerned because he didn’t really react. It was only as he turned towards you that you got a clearer idea of what was going on. You caught sight of his cock, hard and at attention; pulsing against his lower abs with one of his hands on his hip like he had just pulled away. 

Oh, so that’s what he was doing.

You were left with a decision; help or leave. You decided on the former because why the fuck not.

You threw off your clothes quickly and opened the door, stepping under the spray which was still hot, that surprised you. You sat down in front of him, a hand on the side of his face so he at least knew where you were. 

You leaned forward and pressed your lips to his. He took to your kiss easily and began moving his hand back down to his arousal. You swatted his own hand away and wrapped yours around the base of his length. 

Ignis moaned out and his head fell back against the tile. You moved your lips to his exposed neck, kissing his skin while stray drops of water ran down it. You could feel each swallow against your lips, each movement of his throat as he panted for breath in the humid air. He was obviously pretty worked up already with the way his hips were bucking up into your hand.

You didn’t get much more time to think about it because he called out your name in a deep timbre against your skin.

White splattered across your hand and the tiles, washing down the drain. You held him close while he came down from his high. 

“Thankyou” he said and you kissed him. You said that it was your pleasure because it was really. You realised later on that he was probably doing that in the shower to reduce the chance of him jumping your bones later in the day. Oh well.

You left him to recover while you quickly washed yourself, the water slowly going cold against your skin. You helped him out of the shower, styled his hair. Made sure he was alright and then led him out back into the shared dorm. 

He could do it himself but you picked out actual clean clothes for him to wear, clasped his suspenders around the back for him so at least he could feel a little bit like himself. You didn’t talk not really. You hadn’t talked at all about what had happened, about what he said. And it didn’t seem like it was going to happen now anyway. Breakfast; and getting him and yourself into a state of mind that you could actually handle was top priority. 

 

The intervention happened after breakfast. The boys just got up and left you alone; Noctis taking Ignis somewhere while Gladio stayed behind with you. He got to the point straight away.

“We aren’t going to tolerate this anymore you know. You have had your fun but this is serious now.”

“You think that this has been fun for me Gladiolus?”

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “Sometimes I forget you aren’t trained like us. We have all made mistakes here but the two of you need to sort it out.”

“Today is the day that we are starting anew.”

“I’m glad to hear that” he then said your name softly.  
“Thankyou for insisting that you came with us to Alitissia. I can’t imagine that this would be like without you.”

You gave him a small smile. “I can’t imagine what it would have been like if I had been left behind.”

“I am also sorry for everything I’ve put you through as well. I’m not innocent either.”

“I’m sorry for attacking you Gladio.”

“You were justified. I was an asshole.”

You laughed; maybe thing with Gladio hadn’t been as bad as you thought.

 

Prompto came next.

He was nervous, his face flushed red.  
“How are you feeling, after everything?”

“I’m doing better today.”

He sighed and looked down at the floor.  
“Hearing all of that from Ignis was hard for me. I can’t imagine how it felt for you.”

“Prompto I don’t think it affected me any more than it affected you, I can see it in your face. I’ve lost things before so, maybe I’m just better at hiding it.”

“Maybe”

There was a pause as Prompto seemed to debate how to word what he wanted to say next.  
“I’m not sure how to ask this. Is Ignis actually hurting you? I’ve seen some things but I can’t quite tell which one it is”

“We’re sorting it out Prompto.”

“I’ll beat him up for you. You know, if he crosses a line.”

You finished the conversation with a quip and laughter. “I would love to see you try sunshine.”

 

Noctis was last.

“Ignis is an ass you know, I won’t hold it against you if you want to go back to Lucis. “

“And how, pray tell am I going to get my ass back there Noctis?”

“Just tell me if you want me to put him in his place.”

That made you laugh. “Thanks Noctis.”

“Ignis is back in the room. We will give you some space to actually get through what’s been going on“

You stood up and slide out of the booth.

“Thanks Noctis”

Even though the prince hadn’t said much; you could tell how sincere he was and how worried. 

 

You were worried of course; this was the last thing that you wanted to do but you knew that he was waiting for you and that this needed to happen. You took in a shaky breath as you pulled the door open and saw him sitting on his bed with the lights on.

“Ignis” you announced your presence and you really weren’t sure what to say next.

“Come and sit down next to me” so you did. Moving to sit down beside him on the bed; an arm came around your shoulders once you were settled and pulled you into his chest. You curled yourself up against his shoulder as his cheek came to press against your hair. 

“I apologise but I am unsure as to where we should begin” his voice echoed through his chest and lulled you into some sort of security against him. 

You started because if you didn’t maybe it would never happen.  
“Thankyou for telling us about what happened” you spoke with as much conviction as you could.  
“I won’t bring it up but you can talk to me about it whenever you need to.” That was the sort of thing you said when people went through something like that right?

Ignis replies with a simple “Thankyou” and presses a kiss to your hair before he starts speaking again.

“I wish to start again and to move on from the last few weeks. All of this is my fault and I -”

“No” you interrupt him and his mouth snaps closed. “I am just as much to blame. You were vulnerable and I took advantage of you”

“I fail to see how you climbing on top of me a few times is the same as what I did to you in that bathroom in Altissia and the hand print I left on your neck.”

“You were crying out for me to stop and I didn’t stop. Every single time you did something to me you would have stopped if I asked and I didn’t do that for you.”

He seemed conflicted at this; like he hadn’t even considered for a second that any of this was your fault. You didn’t intend to let him continue with that train of thought; maybe you were taking too much of the blame here, he had been awful. When you thought back to all of it; it all seemed sort of hazy like you were blocking it out and you were sure that you were. You had just decided that all of this was your fault but it wasn’t really was it?

You pulled away from his shoulder to look up at him. You leant up and touched his cheek, directed his gaze so that his closed lids were on yours. In a strange way it was almost as intense as actual eye contact. 

“I am sorry for not being the person you needed me to be.” After all, that was your biggest sin in all of this wasn’t it? He needed a rock and that wasn’t what you were. He needed someone to tell him no and actually help him instead of just letting him take and take and then hurting him back. Damn it this had to reach some sort of fever pitch before the two of you could face each other. 

You watched his remaining eye flutter behind closed lashes as he tried to work out what he wanted to say. 

“I’m sorry for taking what I needed without thought for your wellbeing” was what he finally decided on apparently. It would do for now.

“I love you.”

Ignis went to say it back to you but you didn’t need to hear it; you didn’t want to hear it because you knew that it would hurt. 

You pulled him to you and crushed your lips together before he could get the words out.

It happened slowly this time. Soft, cautious hands ran across your clothed skin; pulling at your shoulder to pull you closer to him. You climbed up into his lap and pressed yourself to his warm frame. Your kiss was slow, without urgency as the both of you tried to reacquaint yourself with not being rough with each other. 

It seemed like hours had passed before you managed to get his shirt off and him your own. You lowered him down onto his back; watched his settle against the pillow as shut eyes looked up at you.

You brushed hair back from his forehead and leant down to kiss at his hairline. It might have been too late but you were going to do now what you should have done weeks ago. You whispered his name quietly against his skin and then began the almost overwhelming process of show loving to all of his scars. 

You felt as he relaxed underneath you; it felt good that he was still comfortable with you even after everything. You pressed hesitant lips to the small scar over his eyebrow then down across the bridge of his nose. You trailed softly across his skin down to the scar on his lip and he pulled you to him when you pressed your own lips against it. He pulled you in deep until you both had to pull away to gasp for air; his hand pressing into your hip to keep you steady while you held yourself up over him.

You moved to the large burn on the left of his face; the skin there had improved a lot in the past few weeks. It was still raised and uneven; looking taught and uncomfortable as they cut into his flesh; but the redness was gone. You ghosted your breath over it until he nodded at you; giving you permission to lean down and press kisses over his mutilated eyelid; the skin giving way under your touch because of course there was nothing underneath. It felt gross but it wasn’t anything that you couldn’t handle. 

You pressed your lips to the main points of the scorch mark and all of the small cuts that came off it. You knew that he probably couldn’t really feel your touch on his scarred skin but the way he was sighing underneath you spurred you on to continue. 

Lips ghosted across to his jaw as you pressed your check against his skin. You ran your tongue against the bottom of his jaw; noting how pronounced it had gotten since he stopped looking after himself. You knew you weren’t in much better shape but this was the start of changing all of that right? You moved to his neck and bit down on his collarbone to make sure that he was paying attention. You felt his chest shudder as his breath hitched under your touch.

There were so many streaks of red and silver across his chest; inflicted in a flurry of dancing blows before and after the burn that snaked its way across most of his torso and down to his waist. He inhaled sharply and you could see ribs that you hadn’t taken notice of move under his skin as you ran a light touch across the uneven expanse of his chest. Your fingers rise and fall against the faint red lines and dip when they run across silver as you trace his pale skin. You stop before you reach the blot of crimson that snakes its way down his body; you guess you’ll handle that one later.

You close your eyes; there are so many marks across his skin that it hurts to look and you figure that you can probably find most of them just by touch. You press lips against each ridge and dip that you can feel until Ignis’ chest is heaving with choked off sobs and he is struggling to stay still underneath you and endure your onslaught. 

You just keep going. You aren’t going to stop just because he can’t handle it.

Ignis’ right hand came up to thread through your hair as you moved your lips towards the starburst across his left shoulder. You kissed along the outside of it; starting up at his shoulder and following it down to his waist before moving to the other side and repeating the action in reverse. You pressed lips to the destroyed part of his pec and to the scorch mark digging into his waist.

His hips were rocking underneath you by the time you finally made your way to the brand marring his hip. You knew you had overstimulated the poor creature underneath you. You could see his cock, hard and pulsing up against his dark underwear in your peripheral vision as you focused your eyes on the intricate detail of the brand. You wondered how hot the hilt must have been so leave such detail against his flesh. It would have made an incredible tattoo; if it had been put there willingly. 

You leant down and kissed the healed over blistered flesh, then ran your tongue along the detail of it. You were running your tongue across the grooves that the top of the skull, when Ignis decided that he had enough.

You felt him move, felt arms grip you and then you found yourself on your back; your positions reversed. His weight was pressing down on top of you; the planes of his body against yours. A loud moan tumbled from his lips when his clothed cock pressed down between your legs and your hips fit together.

Ignis kept rocking slowly rocking his hips against you as he made his own way down your body; mapping you out with lips and tongue just like you had done to him. 

It felt almost like de ja vu; like you were reliving something that you could barely remember. It hadn’t been like this for a long time; slow like you had all the time in the world. It hadn’t been like this since before you were on the road; before Insomnia fell. Even the night before he had left Insomnia before all of this began it had been hard and fast; a long intense session to have something to remember each other by. Then after that; once all of the relief of just being alive and make sure that he was actually still there faded away it had always been as quick as possible; because the others were never far away. It had been a long time since you had taken the time to appreciate each other; which was something you had probably needed. 

His lips felt like heaven as they brushed across your skin; it felt like all of your nerves were renewed now you were healed and his touch left fire humming under your skin. There was a twinge of nerves when he stopped to focus on a spot that was different to how he remembered; new scars or just bones poking through skin that didn’t used to be there.

You tried to just enjoy it and to not let all of these destructive thoughts cloud your mind; it was easier said than done even though it became difficult to focus on much else when Ignis took your nipple between his teeth; and one of his hands kept running along your hip over and over until you were squirming from overstimulating just like he had been earlier. 

You could feel him leaving marks across your stomach and down your hip. He bit down on the side of your hip bone that jutted out far more than it should. The white hot pinprick pain of it, followed by the way his tongue soothed over it made you cry out his name; and he chucked like he had been waiting for it all this time. 

You didn’t know when he managed to his mouth between your legs and his tongue moving up and down against your covered folds. The touch of him, the way he flicked the tip of his tongue across the damp fabric and the way the bed creaked as he rocked his hips against the mattress to get himself some relief. The way he knew exactly how and where to touch you even if he couldn’t see it; shit you needed more. 

“Ignis. Stop.” You said softly and he lifted his head to look up at you. 

“I want you inside”

He nodded and then quicker than you thought a blind man should be able to; he had your panties torn down your legs and his own underwear thrown across the room. 

He settled down on top of you; arms either side of your shoulders and face against your neck. Grinding himself down against your core; smearing your slick around your folds with the tip of his cock. 

Then you felt him smirk against your skin; his voice was low as he spoke.

“Can I have some assistance? My Love”

You leant up and bit down on his collarbone in response; snaking a hand between your bodies to line you up. You can feel his cock pulse in your fingers as you hold him tight; feel his hips rock against your hand into the pressure of you as you move him towards your core.

It feels good as he brushes against your nerves and you cry out as your hips spasm as a jolt rocks through your core. You hold him steady as you angle your hips and press against him.

Ignis slips inside you with ease, the familiar burn and stretch disappearing quickly. Your body seems surprised that there isn’t any lingering pain anymore; it seems that Noctis’ potions healed all that up as well. All you could feel was overwhelming warmth spreading through your body.

It was surreal; long planes of muscle moving on top of you as your bodies worked as one. It wasn’t about release, or coping; just two bodies finding each other. 

As he moved inside of you; pressing kisses along your skin as he lost himself to the energy between you as you lost yourself to the rare pressure building and building inside of you. 

Ignis was whispering your name against your skin but all you could focus on was the warmth spreading out from inside of you. You could feel him groan as his hips moved against you; you could read his body and knew that he was closer than he let on. 

He adjusted his body to trail a hand down between your bodies; aiming for between your legs but you stopped him.

“Fuck Ignis. I don’t need it. I’m going to come. Don’t stop.”

He picked up his pace; holding you to him as he moved his face from your neck until closed eyes were facing yours. You could see the way his face was contorted in pleasure; the way the lines on his face were more pronounced from the slight flush and sweat on his skin. Your vision was shaking at the edges as his cock pounded against that spot inside of you; as pleasure and heat flew out from your core as he just kept hitting that spot over and over again. 

He cracked open his less damaged eye; the silvery iris a slim ring around a dilated black pupil. You reached up, ran a hand across his scarred closed eye; pressed your palm against the most broken part of him. The touch made him shut his dilated eye as his hips stuttered.

You came together, your walls clenching around him while you felt warmth spill inside of you. His moans filling the air and drowning out the sound of your own as you both lost yourselves to the moment. 

Ignis collapsed on to you; pressing you into the mattress when he could no longer hold himself up. He was breathing hard against your skin as you threaded fingers through his hair and held him until he calmed down; your pulse humming in your ears.

 

The both of you were still lying there; your head across his chest while your hands idly stroking over the scar on his hip when you felt the train jolt to life on the track.

The familiar but soulless voice came over the speaker.

“We are now departing for Tenebrae; we thank you for your patronage and hope you have a pleasant journey”

You sighed and adjusted yourself under the covers.

“What do you think is going to happen next Ignis?”

But he didn’t respond, you turned your head up to find that he had fallen asleep; his face relaxed and breathing steady.

You closed your eyes and felt the rocking on the train on its tracks as it accelerated up to its full speed.

Today had been not too bad you supposed. It’s not like the two of you had actually fixed anything, you hadn’t managed to have a meaningful conversation or actually apologise about anything. To top it all off it had ended in sex anyway; a different sort of sex but still that incompatible coping mechanism nonetheless. It felt like something that happened through, like you would be able to start over from this moment.

If you could get through this, then you would be able to get through anything else that could be thrown at you right? You would make it to Gralea; Noctis would take down the Emperor and get the Crystal back. You didn’t know what would happen after that.

You felt uneasy with uncertainty and doubt as the train rocked forward into the unknown but your entire life had already gone to shit. Your home was gone; your lover was blind and you were charging forward into the unknown with a king that wasn’t quite ready to take his place in the world. 

You laughed at the absurdity of it and buried your head into Ignis’ chest. 

What the fuck else could possibly go wrong?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we're done.
> 
> Thankyou to every single reader, kudos giver and commenter. To every single person that has been a part of this journey with me. I didn't think I would be able to do it but here we are at the end.
> 
> What did you think? Did this ending satisfy you? Please let me know. 
> 
> Come fangirl with me on tumblr https://tehrevving.tumblr.com/  
> Thanks for being a part of this journey with me and I look forward to what will come next.
> 
> ~Rev


End file.
